SoulPancake / Conversations / (butting in) Do you INTERVENE or WALK AWAY?

Jump into a Conversation about Life's' Big Questions

KimSP

- 3 years ago

Feature
0
Like
Follow

(butting in) Do you INTERVENE or WALK AWAY?

- in your apartment - the neighbors are fighting again - this time you hear squealing cries for help - in a grocery store - you see a mother start smacking a screaming toddler, saying "I'll give you something to cry about" - in the street - you see two muggers grabbing a laptop and blackberry from a helpless-looking fellow What PRINCIPLES guide you regarding when and how you choose to intervene, and when you choose to look the other way?

Recent Discussed Liked

First level responses second level responses

I jump in - and I am formidable. Something works through me when there needs to be intervention. I agree with Trixie and applegrass - instinct has served me (and those I have fought for) extremely well in potentially very dangerous situations.

I'm a fighter for trodden upon and injustice.

I pretty much agree with BlueCrayon and Griz. I've had those pangs of wanting to swoop up a child and show them some love, but what are you to really do when you feel the mother is just being mean. Kids are going to be kids, not perfect ya know. As for anything serious I'd call the cops in a heartbeat and if I thought I could help I'd probably try to myself. Pick your battles. I've seen a woman leave a baby (probably a couple of months old) in a car alone while she was in the dollar store. I was so enraged that I stayed there beside him making sure no one kidnapped him, but I should have called the police. I knew she'd likely be gone before they could respond, but I feel bad that i didn't. I also stayed when I saw 2 small kids left alone the same way. The stupid woman was parked on the side of the building. Nobody would have even seen if someone nabbed the kids. I wanted to bless the woman out (both times) and maybe I didn't help by just being there for the kids, but still... If I heard screams I would most definitely call the police and be looking out to see details when someone came out of the apt, etc.

I don't think one can entertain any hard and fast rules about such situations. You just deal with them as they happen. I've confronted the proverbial "mother in the grocery store" on more than one occasion when the tone of their voice said they were about to lose it. I've also walked away feeling that there was a good enough spirit in the interaction that the child's best interests were being honoured. (BTW, "confronting" can mean anything ranging from calling authorities to asking if you can do anything to help down to simply standing there as witness to anything that might transpire) Someone crying "help" is, well, a cry for help! I would respond in the same way I would hope others would respond to me crying for help. If I was being mugged I would want others to at least try to help -- although I wouldn't want them to endanger themselves over some physical possession that here today and gone tomorrow. Again, help can be anything from physically intervening to calling 911 to snapping a pic to drawing attention to the scene to ministering to the victim when it's safe to do so. So I guess my guiding principle is what I would hope others would do for me in a similar situation.

Three questions will determine my reaction: 1) Could someone be in immediate physical danger? 2) Is a law being broken? 3) Will I later regret not acting? If the answer is "yes" to one or more, I feel compelled to act.

It depends on the situation, and perhaps whether or not I am alone. In the case of the neighbors, I would first call the cops, and then get someone to go with me to the neighbor's apartment. I would not confront the mother--because if she's driven to the point of smacking her child she would not be open to reason. But I might speak to the child, saying something like, "You're tired, aren't you, and you'd like to go home." The words wouldn't really matter; the point is to let the child know someone feels for him/her--AND to give the mother something to think about. I wouldn't go after the muggers, but I'd call the cops, and I'd be willing to testify to what I had witnessed. The guiding principle is basically to act when I know I can help without making the situation worse or putting myself in real danger. BUT if I felt I could actually save a life by intervening my safety wouldn't be an issue; I'd just do it. Many years ago a friend of mine was murdered--in her own house. She was stabbed multiple times, and the neighbors admitted they had heard her screaming, but no one even called the cops. That's why I would do what I could to help.

SoulPancake

KimSP

(butting in) Do you INTERVENE or WALK AWAY?

flower_bite

I jump in - and I am formidable. Something works through me when there needs to be intervention. I agree with Trixie and applegrass - instinct has served me (and those I have fought for) extremely well in potentially very dangerous situations.

Phish66

I'm a fighter for trodden upon and injustice.

Breea

Griz

Hooflungpoo

Three questions will determine my reaction: 1) Could someone be in immediate physical danger? 2) Is a law being broken? 3) Will I later regret not acting? If the answer is "yes" to one or more, I feel compelled to act.

BlueCrayon

Trixie

Instinct.

(butting in) Do you INTERVENE or WALK AWAY?

I jump in - and I am formidable. Something works through me when there needs to be intervention. I agree with Trixie and applegrass - instinct has served me (and those I have fought for) extremely well in potentially very dangerous situations.

I'm a fighter for trodden upon and injustice.

Three questions will determine my reaction: 1) Could someone be in immediate physical danger? 2) Is a law being broken? 3) Will I later regret not acting? If the answer is "yes" to one or more, I feel compelled to act.

Instinct.

What's Next?