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You're laboring under the false pretense that your emotions make you weak. Quite the contrary, they make you strong. You pour yourself whole-heartedly into your relationships, and I'm sure you are richer for it. Sometimes that can be more than some people can handle, but that's a short-coming on their part, not yours. (Some people are emotionally stunted or unavailable)
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You're laboring under the false pretense that your emotions make you weak. Quite the contrary, they make you strong. You pour yourself whole-heartedly into your relationships, and I'm sure you are richer for it. Sometimes that can be more than some people can handle, but that's a short-coming on their part, not yours. (Some people are emotionally stunted or unavailable)
Don't change who you are and how you approach life. Be true to yourself and you will find someone who appreciates that eventually. Because being otherwise - being less than 'you' - will only lead you and your partner astray, and only delays the inevitable. (Good luck!)
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People, IMHO, rarely fall in love "unconditionally". especially when we are young. we "expect" for that other person to love us back..with the same passion that we were feeling..and when it doesn't happen, then we get all hurt over it.
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People, IMHO, rarely fall in love "unconditionally". especially when we are young. we "expect" for that other person to love us back..with the same passion that we were feeling..and when it doesn't happen, then we get all hurt over it.
The trick, I think, is learning to love yourself, first, and unconditionally..then, you can love that other person the same way.
Love is sufficient unto love....Kahlil Gibran
or..sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
but, you will never find him if you don't try.
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Emotional pain is easily much more painful than physical, especially when the brain is hardwired to block out physical pain (otherwise women would never have more than one baby!)
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Emotional pain is easily much more painful than physical, especially when the brain is hardwired to block out physical pain (otherwise women would never have more than one baby!)
I think to start with, you should learn to not blame yourself, because it's all the more difficult to be happy with another person, when you can't be happy with yourself. Weakness is not a sin, or a shortcoming, you're not even necessairly being "weak". I think you are being careful. What happened was traumatizing, and indeed, why put yourself in the position again? What you have to come around to possibly is that things do not happen in a vacuum. It takes two people to make things work, two of them to fail a united effort. For example, more often than not, people cheat because they did not get what they wanted in the relationship they were in. Even if this were a small superficial thing, it does not mean the person does not have the right to have it. (does not mean they should not break up first to get it from someone else.)
Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the things you want to hear about yourself. Repeat them until you start smiling because you know them to be true, and teach yourself enevr to let anybody else make you think different!
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Well, can't say that you're weak. It's natural not to want to touch the stove after you've been burned. I was burned so badly way back when that I made my husband wait 13 years before I married him. You don't want to be like that. The way you put it, you're letting someone else's failures hold you back.
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Turtles. I love turtles & tortoises they're such amazing creatures. Graceful, defensive, strong, agile in it's element, sluggish outside of it's element. Like most of us. But because it has a shell does that make it weak? Consider the Tortoise.
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Although it sounds like a platitude...Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...yyadayadayada...it may be worth considering.
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Although it sounds like a platitude...Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...yyadayadayada...it may be worth considering.
Emotions do have a way of balancing. The higher up you go; the likelihood that you can experience the opposite extreme. As a person, you may be the type than can flow in the middle ranges or you may be the kind that has the wild swings in fluctuation. Some people see a mountain and want to climb it. Others prefer to just hike around the base.
You may have to face the fact that you are a mountain climber! but with a knowledge that what can go down has had the experience of up. Knowing that you have that capacity should be something to look forward to again, as opposed to wallowing in the pits of despair. Not easy, but not impossible either.
Whoever didn't recognize what you offered just isn't worthy of what you had to give. It's actually your strength that is preventing you from moving on. You can't move on until you let go. Let go, so you can re-apply your strength to a more secure handhold as you climb back up to the place you know you can get to.
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When you think in superlatives you will act accordingly. Lower the stakes for yourself.
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Just be more careful. Same happened to me. I learned to be so patient before giving myself to someone like that because as soon as I give myself, she can easily kill me. I would be vulnerable. Am I going to try again? Yes, when the right person shows up. It will take a while
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You're not weak for loving. You are introspective about past experience and stuck in a loop. Give yourself time and work on other aspects of your life and love will come along at a time it chooses.....
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Try not to worry about it so much. It took me many girlfriends to meet the right one. It is definitely out there and if you give up you will never experience it
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I think this is where your great capacity to love (which is a wonderful thing) meets wisdom - ie. to find those who are on the right level to receive it. I think you're seeing at least why so many people harden, I don't know that its necessary but being selective in how and when you give yourself to that extent is critical.
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I think this is where your great capacity to love (which is a wonderful thing) meets wisdom - ie. to find those who are on the right level to receive it. I think you're seeing at least why so many people harden, I don't know that its necessary but being selective in how and when you give yourself to that extent is critical.
Also if makes you feel better I've been in two one-month relationships in my life, have dabbled a little in odd dating but overally I've been single 99.5% of my life and am already in my early 30's. You're not alone.
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Define strong. Weakness is relative and can be strewn 10,000 different ways.
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