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Many people come out of divorces feeling bitter or angry about the whole relationship, or wanting to somehow symbolically 'get back' at their former partner, or forget that time in their life a quickly as possible. This seems like a reasonable way to do so to those in that situation. I'm not saying these parties are a good thing, but I can understand how it would seem like it from their point of view.
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In a divorce there will be friendships lost as friends will choose sides and tend to not be friends with both of the divorcing members. The divorce party says that the marriage didn't work, but we both love all of you. There will be good-byes and it is best that the friendships end on a positive note. No bad feelings as each moves on with their life.
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It does seem to be in bad taste however celebrating your failures as a sort of comic relief to a stressful or painful situation is probably healthier than wallowing in misery and depression. After a divorce a certain amount of introspection and inventory of areas for self improvement may be warranted. If someone is celebrating the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and move on to a new chapter of their life that's fine. If it's just a mad dash to make the same mistakes over again or to revert to an even more flawed state of being then no.
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It does seem to be in bad taste however celebrating your failures as a sort of comic relief to a stressful or painful situation is probably healthier than wallowing in misery and depression. After a divorce a certain amount of introspection and inventory of areas for self improvement may be warranted. If someone is celebrating the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and move on to a new chapter of their life that's fine. If it's just a mad dash to make the same mistakes over again or to revert to an even more flawed state of being then no.
Like everything else in life I suppose it has to be considered on a case by case basis.
What concerns me more than "divorce parties" is the notion that "partying" means getting belligerent drunk and making stupid choices.
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Sounds like they're just trying to give their love lost an Irish funeral, toughen themselves up, and get back on with life. If its a gear-shifting party there's nothing wrong with it. If its a self-pity thing though, not particularly good.
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Seeing nearly everything in life as an excuse for a party is to live your life like a naff undergraduate acting out Animal House...
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Seeing nearly everything in life as an excuse for a party is to live your life like a naff undergraduate acting out Animal House...
I was glad to eventually be eventually divorced officially, but I would never dream of celebrating it, it puts the lie to all the work I put in trying to make it work and with the children.
So I tend to agree with you @McGuinness - if its a celebration then the wedding was all wrong in the first place.
My father used to put a lot of effort into "pre-marriage counselling" with all the couples he married in his church - one or two he put off the whole idea...
The accompanying factor is that there's a lot of over emphasis on celebrating the wedding in my view - making out that somehow the wedding is the main event - rather than the hard work of marriage...
I suppose its down to the individual but I don't recognise any world in which I want to live in that philosophy
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6 years ago, my divorce was finalized after 5 years of struggle. It took longer to divorce him than I was married to him. He tried to elongate it even further, not because he wanted to be with me, but because he still wanted those ownership papers. Damn straight I celebrated, but as far as getting laid, I was already in a committed relationship.
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6 years ago, my divorce was finalized after 5 years of struggle. It took longer to divorce him than I was married to him. He tried to elongate it even further, not because he wanted to be with me, but because he still wanted those ownership papers. Damn straight I celebrated, but as far as getting laid, I was already in a committed relationship.
LOVE NEVER FAILS. I did not get a divorce because I stopped loving my ex, I divorced him because I was evolving in one way and him in another. There were definite issues that could have never been reconciled. I should have never married him, however, he was necessary to my growth, to my healing, to my becoming who I am today. There was plenty of sadness in my marriage, so of course I wanted to celebrate its end.
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