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This is, as usual, a difficult question with a difficult answer. When it comes to that of my friends and family, I would say that I am honest, but not to the point of offense. If my answer will in any way upset those close to me, I tend to bite my tongue. I will not, however, falsely agree with those I'm close to in order to appease them. So I would consider this honesty, because even though I may be falsely portraying my own views, those views are mine for the portraying.
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This is, as usual, a difficult question with a difficult answer. When it comes to that of my friends and family, I would say that I am honest, but not to the point of offense. If my answer will in any way upset those close to me, I tend to bite my tongue. I will not, however, falsely agree with those I'm close to in order to appease them. So I would consider this honesty, because even though I may be falsely portraying my own views, those views are mine for the portraying.
When it comes to my family, I am not often honest in my opinions of their actions and business, but that is, again, their business. I find it far more important to act kindly and respectfully of others than to speak my true mind. This view tends to keep me out of trouble (most of the time), but it does wind up representing a false me, which isn't often a positive outcome, either. But I believe that you have to chose the lesser of two poisons, would you rather upset your family and friends while representing the whole truth of your beliefs and opinions, or would you rather maintain relationships with those people by deciding to quietly and respectfully disagree, though you may sacrifice a bit of yourself to do so. I find the latter to be far less damaging and far more fulfilling. But that is just my experience and my personal opinion. I know those who've done just fine in speaking their mind as they see fit, without consideration for how it may make others feel in the end. But these people tend to have a far different personality structure and approach, and often do lose relationships do to their forthrightness. It just depends on how confident you are within yourself, as well as how sensitive you are towards the views of others. Those who lose these friendships and relationships tend to have self-inclined personality types and do not have a problem with losing these relationships. I, however, do.
There is a fine line, I believe, between honesty and brutality. Many whom either don't empathize well with others, or are simply self-centered (which tends to have a negative connotation, but isn't necessarily a negative trait, it is simply a trait, and a truth. It doesn't make these people intentionally mean, rude, or hurtful, it simply means that they are willing to represent themselves in the most truthful light, and it does not occur to them to worry for the impact it may have on others. While it may have negative effects towards those around them, it may have far more positive effects for themselves and their egos, especially if they are capable of handling the fact that many may be offended or put off by their words or actions. If you are truly self-centered, then the loss of these relationships and/or the opinions of those who consider themselves damaged by your actions may be of little negative effect to you.
And while those who are rarely honest and forthright with their opinions may not be stepping on the toes of those around them, they may be damaged by the fact that they are misrepresenting themselves. However, for those who are not as thick skinned, it may be more painful for them to hear the negative reactions of those who are more forthright with their opinions, and these people may be severely damaged by the opinions of others, far more than their own opinions of themselves (which may possibly be extremely low). It often ties into self confidence as well. These people (of whom I consider myself to be one) may have low self confidence and/or self esteem, and therefore strive to attach to the positive opinions that others hold towards them in order to gain their self esteem from others. This can be, however, damaging if those around them suddenly begin to disapprove of their actions or decisions, and when more self-centered, thicker skinned people tend to let them know, it can be devastating.
So it tends to all have to do with self confidence, and where that line ends and rudeness begins is up to you to decide
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I habitually behave in a passive way, which leads me to being insincere (dishonest) at times. This behavior is a remnant of the patterns I adopted to cope with growing up in an environment where I was invalidated and dominated by an authoritarian. I find this dishonesty continues to work in my dealings with authority figures (work managers mostly). But it works against me for obtaining acceptance for my true personal thoughts and emotions and creating meaningful relationships. It is frustrating to have fallen off the knife-edge of dishonesty's utility for "survival" vs. its detriment to "living."
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The most recent form of dishonesty that I have noticed in my life is the changes in retelling my story, but to my own self. When I look back at past periods or events, I often only remember the good. Although that can be seen as positively optimistic, I find that remembering only good things makes me feel as if my current experiences are not enough. Not enough to ever feel the same kind of happiness that I have convinced myself was once mine.
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Let alone being honest with others, half the time I don't even know if I'm being truthful with myself. Often, I feel two-sided (they're hardly distinctive), so I never know who matters more, nor do I realise which one's my own me, or the me I want to be, or should be and, in order to know which me I should be, I need to know where I want to go. Needless to say, I don't know where to go.
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Yes, though not in all circumstances. Absolute honesty would destroy us all, so let's not make a divinity of it.
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I'd like to think that I am but know that I'm not. For some odd reason, I feel like I connect better with strangers than I do with my friends and family. I've fed a homeless man before just to have someone to talk to, is that weird?
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I try to. It's very hard though. To me being honest is an ongoing challenge, but I'd like to live more honestly and have more open, honest relationships with everyone. It's a place I think we should all strive to be.
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I used to think that "radical honesty" was the way to go. That is still half-right, in my opinion. People think 'opposing views' put their own view at risk of being lost. We need to be able to hear the truth and accept that other's may think of us or situations in completely different ways. The "truth" should also come from a truthful place (duh). I see people who use truth as a way to justify how S****y they feel towards the world, like a weapon they use to "put things in their rightful place". If the truth comes from a place of acceptance and understanding, you can relate to people without ever filtering your thoughts.
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I'm pretty good a lying to myself but try to be honest with everyone else. There are times when I just say "okay" when I really mean something else but some people (like my son and ex) can't be reasoned with so feeling that it's pointless to end up in a power struggle, I'd rather just leave it with, "okay."
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Like most people, I try to be honest as much as possible. However, I often find myself smiling and nodding instead of saying what I really mean because it is easier and I am afraid of hurting others. With myself I am brutally honest.
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Yes- too much so.
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Yes- too much so.
That doesnt mean I cannot be dishonest when the situation merits such behavior. ( Like I had an aunt who was a fury. I`d never be honest towards her if it would cause her to fly off the handle once again. That would be masochistic. I`d sooner smile and nod and leave. I didnt spend much time with her for this reason. She was incorrigible and unbearable.)
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With my self - as often as possible. I'll never shy away from telling myself the hard truths, it only gets tricky when the world simply won't let me get away with putting into practice certain things I know.
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