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Yep. Got back with a girl after 5 years. It ended badly. I had built her up so much in my head that I ignored the signs I should have seen.
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yeah but only because I felt we were never meant to be parted. I also have re-united so to speak with past loves despite the bitter ending. Too many times now. I vow never to do that again.
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almost....
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almost....
met again - after 30 years - but whilst I still find her beautiful and she says I was her one true love, I am not tempted
having found someone else and being in love with her...
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I hope that I stopped doing that in my life. I tend to make friendships that last for many years, or a lifetime.
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I hope that I stopped doing that in my life. I tend to make friendships that last for many years, or a lifetime.
#1. Lowell --- I met him when I was 8 and he was 14. We both had a deep attraction for one another from the first moment we met. Because of the age difference and wanting friendship, he became my babysitter and we were together every day. I helped nurse his mother as she died of cancer. After his mother died, he came to live at our house, like a big brother to me. He went into the Navy and I wore his ring around my neck and the promise was that we would marry when he got out, or when I turned 18. I was raped and Lowell called off the marriage. He was like a brother to me. We both married others and liked each other's spouses. We were like family. After several marriages had failed, we decided to marry. It was the happiest marriage of my life, but he died 8 years ago.
#2 Billy --- I met him when we were in high school. We danced on roller skates and our skate teacher put us together. I had a boyfriend (Lowell) and Billy was a closeted gay. Our friendship was romantic --- to a point. He raped me, violently in anger. Lowell broke up with me. Trying to make things right, I began to be with Billy. In my life, I have only been in real love twice -- Lowell and Billy. I got pregnant --- from, yet another boy who was in a band and I was being a groupy. I was 18 and Billy married me. Billy's mother threw me out and said she would annul our 20 minute marriage. I BELIEVED her. Another man married me to give my baby a name. What a screwed up girl I was!!! That marriage did not last very long and as a divorced mother of two, I was alone. Billy came out of the Army as a sickly changed person. Me being naive, I thought I could get us back together and he would be "normal" again. He wasn't!!! He molested my children and I got away from him! I got my children away from him! Getting my life back together, I remarried and life was normal again. In fact, over the course of 22 years, I had married 3 times. Meanwhile, Billy lived a life of crime that had him going to prison over and over again. He ended up on death row for killing 44 young boys and young men. I did not have contact with him, but his mother was one of the dearest mothers in my lifetime. She was a second Mom to me. She told me that she was never able to annul my marriage to Billy, but kept silent about it all these years. I had just married Lowell! Billy was going to be executed. Lowell wanted me to go and close that chapter of my life. Bill's family had a death in the family. It was up to me to see the execution through and I had Billy cremated and his ashes dumped at sea. Then, I remarried Lowell and life went on in a more normal way, until Lowell's death.
#3 Rob --- Rob wrote music and played rythm guitar for the band Crossfires out of Westchester High School. I was a groupy for the band. Rob wrote "Happy Together" for his girlfriend Elenore. The band changed it's name to The Turtles. This is where I got pregnant and the song "Bachelor Mother" (a song that insults me) was written. With my pregnancy I was married, and married, and married. Somewhere down the line in my marriages I realized that my firstborn son looked exactly like Rob. I showed a picture of my son to Rob and both of us were trying to make our lives make some kind of sense, so we married because we had a son -- but not for love. He was an alcoholic who beat me and we didn;t get along. I left him 44 times in a 7 year marriage. I divorced him because I hated him.
Getting back together with someone didn't work 2 times out of 3. Along the way I learned serious lessons that have shaped the person I am today. Lowell was my lifetime love. He was a big brother figure in my life and Ioved him. I should have married him in the first place and life would have been quite sane and normal.
Trying to heal someone who is insane is fruitless and love does not heal a sick and insane mind. That was a mistake.
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Yes- I did.
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Yes- I did.
And I am glad nobody tried to talk me out of it.
It was like the relationship went in fastforward from romantic right back to the root of the problem we had in 10 days.
And when I ended it for the second time it was not only easy - but I was convinced.
I remember at the time I was trying out group therapy, so everybody was interested in knowing how it was going. So I went into the session with this mischievous grin on my face. I said "He made me a proposal" WHAT? Everybody yelled. I said "Yeah- he proposed that I become his personal as*hole and I told him no thx."
LOL
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No, I don't believe in hooking back up with exes, it is a path that never leads anywhere good.
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