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Easier to forgive others, even as difficult as that can be. Growing older gives perspective and has allowed me to let go of some grudges and it feels soooo good. The Buddhists got it right when they said that no person is important enough to make you angry.
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Easier to forgive others, even as difficult as that can be. Growing older gives perspective and has allowed me to let go of some grudges and it feels soooo good. The Buddhists got it right when they said that no person is important enough to make you angry.
Forgiving myself is much harder. I tend to hang on to the major mistakes I've made and periodically flagellate myself with them, as though that will help to keep me from making major mistakes in the future. It may not be the most constructive way to stay on the path, but on the other hand, I think a lot of people forgive themselves way too easily and so don't learn anything from their mistakes and continue to do S****y things. The world might be a better place if people were a little harder on themselves these days.
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I think it is easier to forgive others then myself, but it is depends on the situation and the level of guilt you feel. My mother in law holds a grudge like it's a golden ticket.and I can forgive easily but I never forget. On the flip side, there are things I did when I was a kid I still haven't really forgiven myself for and probably never will.
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I have a very different take on forgiveness - and it was a HARD learned lesson.
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I have a very different take on forgiveness - and it was a HARD learned lesson.
When someone did grave injustices against me, I was thrown into anger that I couldn't release. It was debilitating. My inability to think my way out of that situation was amplified by my fear and anger. One day, realizing how I couldn't let it go, I wondered what anger really was. So I set some time when I would be alone, and I allowed myself to get as angry as I wanted to - so that I could know it better. By the time I was done, I was laughing hysterically. Images of my life as a young child came flashing through my mind. How perfect and beautiful she was. How hard she was on herself with her own judgements.
Example - I was four and desperately wanted someone to tell me how to read, but no one would. I knew that letters were important, so I asked my father to write my name on a paper. He did, and I went away to practice copying it. When I was satisfied, I took it to him and said, "Look what I did". My father, not knowing the effort that I had put into the task, said "well, you have made some mistakes there" (the "a" was backward and the letters weren't staight up and down). I was devastated. I went away to cry and I could only see my own ineptness and worthlessness. I saw that I wasn't inept or worthless. I was telling myself that I was. I carried that judgement (and many others) into my adult life and was projecting those judgements onto others. Because I didn't know that I create my own reality, I manifested that horrible situation that I felt trapped in. When I realized that as hard as it was to acknowledge, it takes 2 to tango, and when I remembered how absolutely perfect that young me was, I realized that there was never anything to forgive myself for - and at the same time, by the same token, there was nothing to forgive him for. Awareness dawned and I took the first step in my spiritual awakening.
So when I saw that I played a part in the injustices (50%), I was free. That was VERY hard to do given the nature of the abuses, but it gets easier with practice. There never was anything to forgive in the first place - only the appreciation of awareness remained.
This doesn't mean that I ever want to be near him again - but only that I hold no grudge.
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For me it depends on the situation. I can be very hard on myself too and have a hard time letting it go. I think that's what it comes down to is letting go..of the hurt you caused someone, of the anger you feel when someone hurts you or someone you love...but letting go doesn't have to mean you forget or even that you are magically not angry anymore, it just means that you no longer let that situation have power over you. Power to rob you of love and life and freedom. Let it go. It means you value yourself enough to try to deal with things and move on.
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That's a tough one I'd say it's easier for me to forgive others than it is for me to forgive myself. I can be hard on myself sometimes
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I don't think it's my job to forgive others. I just carry on as best I can.
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I don't think it's my job to forgive others. I just carry on as best I can.
BTW....where've you been? Missed you around here!
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I have not forgiven myself for things I did as a small child. I probably never will.
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Sometimes it's easier to forgive myself and sometimes it's easier to forgive others. If I have done the same mistakes as others then I will understand better the reason behind it and forgive them easily.
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I don't have the ability to forgive myself. That's God's job. I do, thought, often get in the way of God's mercy and block his forgiveness. Old ego. Holding resentment can be painful. Sometimes it's enjoyable but in the end it's destructive.
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I think that for the most part it is easier for us to forgive ourselves because physically in our brain we do not view our own selves as a threat, so forgiveness and rationality outweigh fear and loathing.
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I think that for the most part it is easier for us to forgive ourselves because physically in our brain we do not view our own selves as a threat, so forgiveness and rationality outweigh fear and loathing.
It is harder to forgive others, because we have a much stronger emotional connection in our brain, physically, when we are wronged by another person, there are many more factors that come into play as our brain determines the possible factors involved in making the decision to forgive.
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I have a strong desire to forgive others who have been close, so I do, maybe to an unhealthy extent. I wrote a note to someone I searched for and found (in London) on the Internet for something neglectful I did 40 years ago. She wrote back that she had forgotten about it.
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I rarely hold grudges. takes too much energy.
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