reply
I don't know about the rest of the men, but I'm right here sitting in my lounge chair, drinking a beer and watching football. Now bring me a sandwich, woman! (LOL!)
- Feature
- Like
I don't know about the rest of the men, but I'm right here sitting in my lounge chair, drinking a beer and watching football. Now bring me a sandwich, woman! (LOL!)
But seriously...
Society continues to evolve. Most married couples are dual-income households now, differing from the traditional man-as-breadwinner/woman as house-wife roles that were previously the norm. Housework is being shared more by men, and women are pitching in with yard work. Child-rearing duties are being shared.
(I won't get into same-sex relationships, though much of this still applies - minus the gender labels, of course)
It's balanced much more equality these days. And much of this 'equality' has been promoted by the women's liberation movement, So if today's women aren't happy with the arrangement they should talk to their mothers and grandmothers about it.
People are still adjusting to these changing roles and, while some may long for the social values of yesterday, many people think we still have a long way to go.
(My suggestion: Find a spouse whose family values echo your own)
reply
I guess it's all about the equality between men and women?
- Feature
- Like
I guess it's all about the equality between men and women?
they are equal
they are equal
they are equal
so based on what the society has been trying to do for the last few decades about making the man and woman equal in everything, I guess that's the result.
I don't believe men and women are equal. It doesn't mean the man is better or the woman is, it just means they are not the same. They are not the same at all, emotionally, nor physically. So the man got confused on which roles should he be playing, it looks like women don't enjoy their roles as mothers and building the family which is one of the biggest most crucial roles, i believe, in society. So they have been competing in schools, careers, etc...
So now the man consider the woman is just another human like him who is physically different and can attract him sexually. Does she have the right to be treated differently? No, she doesn't want to, she wants to be just like him. You can enter the bus and watch the men are sitting down and women are standing up. Some women get irritated if their boyfriends pay when they are on a date. That's what women wanted wanted and that's what they got.
Even though from my experience and the people I met, many females don't agree with it. Many of them are more comfy with the idea of the man is the man and the woman is the woman and both of them have their rights.
As it said before, it's not always like that everywhere. I lived in the middle east and they totally differentiate between men and women. Is it bad or good? When people wonder a lot about that, I would just ask them, do you think if women are being treated unfairly there, they will keep silence until now? Trust me, women there are much stronger than what you think but they enjoy their roles.
All in all, what's happening now is mostly what the people asked for and looked for. Women and men are the same in everything. If you don't like it, then people will have to fight again to get it back as it was before.
reply
I think the answer to that is twofold... Video games and porn. There is a chemical reaction when a guy plays video games that causes it to be addicting. I would know... 5 years a game I was hooked to video games until I threw my system over a cliff with all my games and stuff (I know, kinda dramatic, but I needed to move on). And Porn. I know it is not a popular subject, but porn has destroyed the value of a woman and minimized her to a mere tool, or a means to get a "fix". These videos show men treating women with complete disrespect (even if the woman doesn't respect herself, that gives no leeway for a man to disrespect her).
- Feature
- Like
I think the answer to that is twofold... Video games and porn. There is a chemical reaction when a guy plays video games that causes it to be addicting. I would know... 5 years a game I was hooked to video games until I threw my system over a cliff with all my games and stuff (I know, kinda dramatic, but I needed to move on). And Porn. I know it is not a popular subject, but porn has destroyed the value of a woman and minimized her to a mere tool, or a means to get a "fix". These videos show men treating women with complete disrespect (even if the woman doesn't respect herself, that gives no leeway for a man to disrespect her).
So, how should a man act? Here is what I believe... A man puts his wife's desires over his own. He tells her daily that he loves her and actively seeks ways to show her that love. If he has children, he takes them out to eat and does some sort of activity with them (movie, bowling, etc.). A man is not just the "money maker" of the family, but a friend, companion, and a mentor. I could go on, but you get the basic idea lol.
reply
Are you sure the women wore the pants in those relationships you saw? You can never be too sure of the dynamics of a relationship that you are not a part of. They might be equal partners, but you just happened to see them in situations where the guy took the passenger seat and let the woman drive. There are certain situations where I let my boyfriends take control because I feel like they could handle it better than I could, and vice versa.
- Feature
- Like
Are you sure the women wore the pants in those relationships you saw? You can never be too sure of the dynamics of a relationship that you are not a part of. They might be equal partners, but you just happened to see them in situations where the guy took the passenger seat and let the woman drive. There are certain situations where I let my boyfriends take control because I feel like they could handle it better than I could, and vice versa.
But to answer the question, I think there has been a shift in society that allows women to have more control and it be more acceptable, rather than being just seen and not heard. I don't think men have taken a step-back, they've just conceded to the idea that women aren't as weak and helpless as society has stated in the past. And no, we should not be teaching boys how to be a "man of the house." You should be teaching him how to take care of himself and whoever he ends up with, assuming he takes a partner. In addition, teaching them how to compromise and work together with others couldn't hurt either. And we should be teaching girls the exact same.
reply
It just seemed like the easiest thing to do.
- Feature
- Like
It just seemed like the easiest thing to do.
They wanted it; they got it. A body just gets too tired of fighting them for it.
"Head of the household" is a title the men don't have the same "birthright" to as women do with the title "Mother". It has to be something the women are willing to "concede" to the men; seeing as how they already have a role genetics has blessed them with. But the liberation movement brought forth the "anything you can do I can do better" mindset.
So if the women look about and wonder where "men as the head" has gone? They'll have to ask themselves.
reply
- Feature
- Like
Educate men on how to be the head of a household? Why? That sounds pretty old fashioned to me.
reply
- Feature
- Like
This does happen because we have a completely emasculating culture. Not the majority around here though. You must live in California or something.
reply
Head of the household? Why would a man have to be that? Because he has a penis? I am a strong woman with a larger than life personality. I have learned from my past that it takes a strong man to stand beside me. Beside me, not above me, not below me, BESIDE.
- Feature
- Like
Head of the household? Why would a man have to be that? Because he has a penis? I am a strong woman with a larger than life personality. I have learned from my past that it takes a strong man to stand beside me. Beside me, not above me, not below me, BESIDE.
A Marriage licence is not ownership papers, its a partnership. The fact that a woman would be suggesting that a man lord over her, hurts my ovaries. Every relationship has its dynamics and just because you see someone in public displaying the dominate card doesn't mean thats what is happening behind closed doors.
As a woman, almost any man can snap my neck with little effort. Physically speaking a man can easily dominate me, but nature never leaves any animal without its defences. I have the gift of persuasion, reasoning and compassion. People often think that my husband is in "control" of our household, but that's because they don't know how often we both compromise, how often we discuss, everything... in great detail, much to my chagrin.
reply
I think it is all about equality between men and women .
- Feature
- Like
I think it is all about equality between men and women .
Also , in my relationships , each of us had our special talents and interests .
I became good at keeping our cars running and my wife was an expert in child management . ( I was to soft ).
She was an out standing cook and grocery shopper and I did the laundry ( like I did in college...don't put colors in with whites ) .
We consulted on big issues and often included the kids .
As a result of our parenting and skills , my daughter is a great home repair and car person and my son is a to die for cook . You see , our children are very much effected by how we raise them .
reply
There are a number of factors at play here: two of them come surging forth so those are the two I shall reveal to YOU.
- Feature
- Like
There are a number of factors at play here: two of them come surging forth so those are the two I shall reveal to YOU.
Idea Uno: Over the times, the female species has become a more powerful figure, in that equality is on the rise (which even though it's been officially so for years, the mindset of an idea can linger on for decades or even CENTURIES!) So there's that...
Second idea: As the college gets more and more expensive and the kids have a hard time figuring out how to pay for it, more and more students are living with their parents while they attend school. More and MORE MEN are living with their MOTHERS up through their mid 20s. This helps to breed a old kids... not men, but "dudes." You don't see the independent early nest leavers as often because it's becoming more commonplace for kids to stay home as it's easier on the wallet.
There are probably many more factors, but I will leave you to ponder these two for now.
reply
Have men really taken a step back? Ever since I was a kid Ive been fascinated with the roles that men and women play especially in a relationship. As much as men like to say they wear the pants in the relationship, in my experience this is just an ignorance.
- Feature
- Like
Have men really taken a step back? Ever since I was a kid Ive been fascinated with the roles that men and women play especially in a relationship. As much as men like to say they wear the pants in the relationship, in my experience this is just an ignorance.
The saying, "Behind every great man is a great woman," has always stuck with me. What does this mean? Most men seem to have issues with self control especially when it comes to stepping off their high horse. It seems women in a relationship are responsible for bringing logic on a subtle level.
Most men I know trust only a handful of people and when it comes to women it is either a family member or their partner. Why do men behave like this? Most men that I see as whiny, controlling meat heads usually had stupid mothers.
I say stupid mothers because those mums who babied their boys and feel that a woman's job is to take care of her boys in a way that doesn't actually teach them self reliance is just stupid all around. When those boys grow up and look for a partner they will be looking for a mom and in my eyes this does not bode well for anyone seeking an equal partnership.
And no, I do not think holding on these ideals that men are the head of the household is even close to being healthy. Give one person too much power and they will abuse it as history has shown that most men can not handle it.
reply
Men statistically have the lower levels of testosterone today then ever before. It's suspected that endocrine disrupting chemicals may be at fault.
- Feature
- Like
Men statistically have the lower levels of testosterone today then ever before. It's suspected that endocrine disrupting chemicals may be at fault.
Either-way, no matter how much you prod the boy to man up, if the juice isn't there don't get your hopes up.
reply
I think it is a matter of society evolving beyond ancient religious traditions that have no further necessity. Interpersonal dynamics are significantly more complex and demand more balanced resolutions than a relationship dictator could provide.
- Feature
- Like
I think it is a matter of society evolving beyond ancient religious traditions that have no further necessity. Interpersonal dynamics are significantly more complex and demand more balanced resolutions than a relationship dictator could provide.
Also, who's to say that it was ever really the case that men were in control. I'd bet that controlling men find their wives with 'headaches' more often.
However, there is also the down sizing of self control and decision making as a result of constant consumption of advertising and mass media which presents very similar memes. The environment of ideas our brains are exposed to has changed in such a way that being strong, decisive, and healthy people is less likely, even as the need for it increases.
reply
- Feature
- Like
I think it is old fashioned. It worked/works in situations where that model is cultivated but not as well as one where responsibility is shared equally. In a modern or progressive context, boys should be taught how to be equal and supportive partners. Girls too.
reply
- Feature
- Like
I understand what you're saying and I'm pretty sure you don't mean taking us back to the 1950's. Relationships need balance. In many of the relationships of our friends the woman makes all the decisions and the man just takes a back seat. I think it seriously affects their marriages. Many will say they just want their husband to make a decision and stick with it. This doesn't mean that there is no discussion about it.
reply
- Feature
- Like
That's some seriously outdated thinking when you say 'man of the relationship'. What we should be teaching our kids is how to partner effectively, how to negotiate, how to be supportive of your partner, how to communicate, not some outdated bullshit about gender-assigned roles.
reply
- Feature
- Like
As the tide shifts thankfully further toward gender equality, the role of "men", as you say, is now being inhabited by an increasing number of women. Relationships and families are growing more distinct from 50's "nuclear" archetype that once dominated America with each successive generation. Personally, I think it's great, since I'm not only a sucker for dominant ideologies getting dethroned, but also responsibilities within a relationship should be determined by the participants and not some old-fangled rigamarole.
reply
How could you speak like this and then one day, turn around and say you want women to be president. You are aware that her husband would have to be the" first man".
- Feature
- Like
How could you speak like this and then one day, turn around and say you want women to be president. You are aware that her husband would have to be the" first man".
I think YOU like the idea of having a provider, leader, takes charge man and then you behave like the house wife. Most girls i have met like this even reflect it during sex, where they want the man to be dominant. your probably just into guys that run the show.
reply
What has determined the stereotype for men to be the head of the household? Really, what kind of sick a*s chauvinistic testosterone addicted conservative prick fashioned that idea...oh wait...Rush Limbaugh.
- Feature
- Like
What has determined the stereotype for men to be the head of the household? Really, what kind of sick a*s chauvinistic testosterone addicted conservative prick fashioned that idea...oh wait...Rush Limbaugh.
In seriousness though, in imbalance of power in a relationship is what causes it to go downhill rapidly. If one person's making all of the decisions constantly and if there's no compromise or even any discussion on something, the other person feels like they have no say in it and that they don't have any control over the relationship. It's the same with emotional space as well, it can't just be one person saying the "I love you"s but it has to come from both people if they absolutely mean it and show it through action.
reply
who says letting women take on masculine power dynamics is a step backwards?
- Feature
- Like
