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it is much better to be cautious about things because if you trust to much,then you will become an easy target for the brutal and unforgiving world.
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I find that it's not even something I pick anymore. As I get older, I stay cautious. Mabye it's a perk of getting older, our BS radar is extremely good! :)
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Like all things there has to be a balance, a middle ground. You cant always be cautious or you'll miss out on amazing opportunity's, and probably end up a very "safe" but inexperienced individual. Trust everyone and you will be hurt and let down over and over again.
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This question is so hard to answer, mostly because I can see why people choose to be cautious as far as relationships yet I see the benefits of trusting others with more ease. With your wording of this question, I can tell that you've been hurt before, maybe when you were more vulnerable and naive. Same here! I mean, the whole reason I'm more cautious in life is because of scars from my childhood. Don't we all? I trusted, and was deceived. Slowly I'm starting to realize that expecting hurt when trying to trust someone is the opposite of what is wanted out of life. I try to assume the best in people, but man, it's difficult when you have those events so close to your heart.
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This question is so hard to answer, mostly because I can see why people choose to be cautious as far as relationships yet I see the benefits of trusting others with more ease. With your wording of this question, I can tell that you've been hurt before, maybe when you were more vulnerable and naive. Same here! I mean, the whole reason I'm more cautious in life is because of scars from my childhood. Don't we all? I trusted, and was deceived. Slowly I'm starting to realize that expecting hurt when trying to trust someone is the opposite of what is wanted out of life. I try to assume the best in people, but man, it's difficult when you have those events so close to your heart.
There's a difference between divulging gossip to someone and sharing a human connection with them. Without trust, those human connections aren't possible. Society is telling us to let the world know everything about us, but also tells us to keep "our cards close to our chests." Which is right? Is there a balance? In a broad sense, it's all a huge contradiction. But on an individual level, it's about choosing which person you want to be.
Hopefully that made a little sense...haha :)
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How will you ever know if you'll get hurt, if you never make yourself vulnerable enough to trust? Thats the thing about trusting someone, its about letting those cards away from your chest. Caution is always going to keep you from getting hurt, but it is never going to show you that there are people out there that are trustworthy. And a cautious life, is a hell of a lot more boring than one filled with trust and love. Live a little, getting your trust broken, heartbroken, is a part of life that sucks, but once experienced you come out a whole lot stronger. As well as wiser. Be wise, & trust.
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Trust and be hurt, dive into life, and when it hurts know that you have lived, that you have tried!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psN1DORYYV0
watch this its about the power of vulnerability
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trust issues. this girl. what i've learned as i get older is keep the most important stuff about you close, and let all the rest out if somebody asks. don't be to eager to rattle off your life story, but be open to talking about stuff. best friends, husbands, family, may come and go but at the end of the day, as long as you trust yourself... :)
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I have the same issues as well; it took me long to realise the value of opening up to people because of a past friendship that I have ruined myself due to the lack of trust. I'm still struggling with trust issues now and then, but what I've learnt is that... opening up to people Is indeed something good and yes you might get hurt but the rewarding thing is that... when you actually earn the trust someone has given to you... it's so much more rewarding than being cautious and not opening up to people because you will never know who might enter your life :)
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Yes..How else are you supposed to learn and enjoy life. Obviously you don't go to the extreme and walk down a dark ally alone but sometimes being hurt can cause huge life lessons and are worth it.
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It's just a natural evolution as you get older. Sometimes I think that a lot of people let me down frequently, but when I look deep inside I realize that I have just become less tolerant.
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The less I trust, the more I hurt. Expectations beget disappointments.
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The less I trust, the more I hurt. Expectations beget disappointments.
We keep secrets for other people, but that should never limit what you are willing to express about yourself. Instead of being disappointed by some breach or failed promise, manage your expectations, apart from psychopaths and teenagers, people often lie to protect someone else, maybe even the person they are lying to. Respect them enough to trust that they are telling you what they want you to know, but be smart enough to judge for yourself the credibility of their perspective. With respect to gossip, its been said that much as it sucks to know people are talking behind your back, it sucks even more to realize that no one talks about you at all.
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I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. You will do what you choose, it's good to open up to people to share interests and make friendships but also staying aware of who you share things to because not everyone cares, some are just curious.
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I can only speak of my own personal philosophy but I am open to everyone and by presenting the full story of how I feel and not just the judgments I have formed, I find people are more receptive. There is definitely shaky middle ground of beginning to open up that people can take advantage of, but I feel that is because there is still parts we are holding back. If I feel someone is treating my views negatively, I look deeper within myself to find ways that are universal human qualities. I know my intentions are pure so if I notice I am being unfairly judged, I look to explain the process I took to develop my view in full. I have nothing to be ashamed about. Perhaps others that feel the need to hide where there opinions come from have something to be ashamed about. They probably need to target those things and forgive themselves before choosing to open up.
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trust, but not completely. I can't even trust myself sometimes. The only people you should put all your trust in are your parents, if you ask me: they always look for your best.
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Just be surprised, not hurt. Things aren't good or bad, just different. Emotions aren't reality, just a response to reality. Dig?
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You can try and live a life without trusting anyone or anything at one extreme,
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You can try and live a life without trusting anyone or anything at one extreme,
Or be a gullible trusting soul..... of everyone.
As you get older you should actually be developing better judgement on what and who deserves what level of trust...
If you are just getting lazy with that need because of a deep seated fear of getting hurt then you are going to close down on life in a way that makes you become shallower, older faster, and less interesting.
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I believe that you don't learn or grow by playing it safe. You have to put yourself out there and have the experience. Yes, it will be hard and yes it will hurt but you will be a better person/lover for the experience. Dare to risk or do not live.
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It is best to inform yourself of the risks and behave accordingly. Just make sure that your information is good enough.
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In the past, everytime I would open up to someone about something that was bothering me, I would leave the conversation feeling worse than I did in the first place.
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In the past, everytime I would open up to someone about something that was bothering me, I would leave the conversation feeling worse than I did in the first place.
"What if they tell someone else about my personal struggles?"
Over the last three or four years, I have learned that trust is important and I was not doing enough of it. I was hurting myself by not trusting enough.
In the end, I believe, in some circumstances, you risk getting hurt whether you trust or stay cautious.
*Trust someone with your thoughts; they hurt you by proving themselves untrustworthy... OR...
*Stay causious, and you risk hurting yourself by carrying around the monkey on your back.
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Most times I embrace the hurt I get from having put my love out there. 4 years ago, I gave my love to a man that seemed genuine. I found myself always feeling like I was on the edge of a storm, but willing to risk in the name of love. One night he said to meet him at our local bar where all our friends hang out. I walked to the door expecting a romantic night. As I came in, I saw my man with another woman -- kissing her. My immediate reaction was to realize in a split second that he was not my man. He was now her man. The bar stool on his other side was empty. In the time it took to cross the room to that bar stool, I went through hurt, anger and then acceptance. By the time I sat beside him, I was ready to give him a cheerful smile and say, "Hi!"
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Most times I embrace the hurt I get from having put my love out there. 4 years ago, I gave my love to a man that seemed genuine. I found myself always feeling like I was on the edge of a storm, but willing to risk in the name of love. One night he said to meet him at our local bar where all our friends hang out. I walked to the door expecting a romantic night. As I came in, I saw my man with another woman -- kissing her. My immediate reaction was to realize in a split second that he was not my man. He was now her man. The bar stool on his other side was empty. In the time it took to cross the room to that bar stool, I went through hurt, anger and then acceptance. By the time I sat beside him, I was ready to give him a cheerful smile and say, "Hi!"
He jumped out of his skin. He expected me to rage in anger and fight. Wanting time to explain this to me, he gave his new woman money for the juke box. I went to the juke box with her. At the juke box we cooperated in picking music. There was no need to duplicate our choices. We introduced ourselves to each other. I complimented her hair and we shared woman talk and the pot-luck spread of food the bar had put out on a table. We each filled a plate and brought it back to our seats at the bar. The guy who was mine and was now hers, fidgeted and showed signs of nervousness --- watching us two women like a hawk. "What did you say to her?" he shouted at me. I told him this: "If either of us fixes you a plate of food, don't eat it."
After that, Becky and I became friends. We were even friends when he dumped her for another woman.
MEN! Go figure! You give them your heart and they use it, and then go to the next woman in line. It is easy to get hurt if you don't learn to roll with the punches.
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Trust, there's no guarantee you'll be hurt, it could be the best time of your life.
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Trust, there's no guarantee you'll be hurt, it could be the best time of your life.
The only time you should be cautious is if you're talking to someone you're getting to know, and so are leaning into trusting them, but your gut instincts tell you to flee.
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I don't believe anybody should live such a guarded life. I say trust and be hurt. We have all been let down by those we trust but that is no reason to close up.
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