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Oh yes...I have melted -
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Oh yes...I have melted -
and most recently my wife, my former girlfriend from 30 years ago and I melted down in a Brooklyn street -
we'd been having a great time - and it got beyond great...
why? - we were under the influence -
and walking out, already having had fits of giggles.
Then we remembered the story of the Orthodox Jews and their very strange big furry cake shaped hats - and how Gail had kept seeing "This weird guy" - only later to realise that there were loads of them in that area.
Suddenly there was a group of four of them ahead on the street and these two lovely women started squeaking and saying they couldn't go any further -
I would have survived but they each pulled out of their bags a little old fashioned fan and hid their insanely, and loudly, corpsing faces behind these...I should add that my wife is a good 10" taller than my ex and their fans were in proportion to their size...
...leaving me the only one visible and giggling like an express train as these very serious Jewish guys with their wonderful curly black side-danglers walked by (it was the Sabbath so I figured they weren't going to hit us)
Even after they walked by tears were streaming down our faces - Jahweh alone knows what they thought was going on....
God I wish I had been able to get my camera out and shoot that scene - much much stranger than any fiction.
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I gotta tell you another one.
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I gotta tell you another one.
I had $2 in my pocket and was about to make a long drive home after working in a city about three hours from home. I'm in a drug store so I use my last two bucks to buy a scratch and win. I scratch it and I win $10 so I say to the cashier, give me 5 more.
I go out to the car and scratch the first one, another $5, the next one $250, the next one is about $2,000 and I can't contain myself. I jump out of the car screaming like a total knob and run into the store screaming I won! I won!
Everyone in the store is laughing and happy and a lady near me looks over my shoulder and says....you didn't win nothin! You need to match three numbers.
Instant let down.
Then the cashier who sold me the tickets checks my first ticket that won the $10 and she says, Hey, you owe me $10.
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My melt made me laugh almost immediately after I realized just how stupid I was.
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My melt made me laugh almost immediately after I realized just how stupid I was.
I walked into my production area of the business I own and I see this thing on the floor with a mistake on it. I totally freaked out and started jumping up and down on it screaming how no one gave a sh*t about wasting product and making the same mistakes over and over again and yelling that is $300 worth of garbage on the floor and on and on and on.
Everyone is standing around watching me and I say, What?!...and they say, That one was supposed to be like that.
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