reply
I'd say that you should do whatever makes you as stress free as possible while managing the effects of your illness. I think that trying to please the GF is never going to work until you become more reliant on yourself. You have to "fix" the part that you have control over (yourself) before you can fix the relationship issuesl It's not your fault that you have whatever condition it is that you have.
- Feature
- Like
I'd say that you should do whatever makes you as stress free as possible while managing the effects of your illness. I think that trying to please the GF is never going to work until you become more reliant on yourself. You have to "fix" the part that you have control over (yourself) before you can fix the relationship issuesl It's not your fault that you have whatever condition it is that you have.
Frankly, the girl friend sounds like one of those people who say "Enough talk about me; tell me what you think of me." It gives me rather a sick feeling to see that her needs have become so high on your priority list. Go out and rent fome self esteem.
reply
Your question is fairly vague so tough to answer but you sound so sweet and sincere. Here's my attempt...
- Feature
- Like
Your question is fairly vague so tough to answer but you sound so sweet and sincere. Here's my attempt...
First (and I speak as a person with progressed RA) don't give yourself any easy "outs" for anything! Take control and get things done. We are almost always stronger than we know. Some days I can barely turn a door knob but it doesn't keep me locked in. I use a towel or other item as a sling and I open that door and get on with life.
If you are aware of your short comings and why you may have them... work on them!
The old "when there's a will, there's a way" is 100% correct.
Rising up to the challenges in our life... is an energy producer.
Being down/whining/mentally limiting ourselves... is an energy drainer. Talk yourself "up" every day.
Now if you don't already, you can help her de-stress by doing some simple housework. (keeping a nice home can be more stressful than you might think) Do some laundry, clean the kitchen, put fresh sheets on the bed, take out the fake flowers in that vase and put in something inexpensive but nice and put them on her side of the bed. Take care of dinner and make sure it's something she likes.
When she gets home give her a big hug and tell her you want her to relax and take some time to herself. Set her up for a bubble bath or give her space to read/watch TV/listen to music or maybe go out with friends.
Mostly hold her and tell her she is appreciated and loved. Tell her this is just the start of you doing things better. Her stress level will drop for sure... yours will too!
I wish you good luck with this and the healing of yourself.
reply
- Feature
- Like
Figure out the one or two things that would really turn it around for her, and give yourself a planned path for getting those done consistently (lists that you can easily follow to repetitively reach the goal), then just sitting and looking at the sunset while holding hands might do wonders to reduce her stress level.
reply
- Feature
- Like
