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When I was told I had cancer. But later it was okay. 3 years later.. I am still okay but a little wiser and a LOT more grateful and hopefully becoming more and more loving and conscious
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FIRST experience sucked (college), got a very bad economic news within family, that involved me smallest kid in house being very affected (grew up very fast).
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FIRST experience sucked (college), got a very bad economic news within family, that involved me smallest kid in house being very affected (grew up very fast).
There after everytime Mexico plays (Futbol) and every morning after going out to party (you know thetwo moment: waking up with a girl beside you and when you remember or see the receipts of how much money youve spent or paid with credit card) jajaja Plus everytime a near carcrash scare....
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Once. One of my best friends died from brain damage he sustained during a highschool football game. I didn't eat for weeks, and I hyperventalated on several occasions.
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Yes, on several occasions. Some were more selfish than others, such as losing a boyfriend vs. a death in the family. But all of them started out the same with that feeling of complete despair.
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Yea, my entire world crumbled my senior year of high school when I found out my mom had cancer. I can thankfully say that it's been a year since then and she's cancer free and very healthy. I still remember the exact moment when I was told my mom had cancer. I just wanted to get out of sight because I wouldn't be able to hold my composure much longer. I realized I would never be able to move far away or achieve half of my dreams. It was probably the worst feeling I've ever felt but I've gotten soo much stronger from it. It will always get better.
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Oh, yes -- more than once. The events were all catastrophic, but different, with the same initial pain of hopelessness. Despair only seems like an ocean, though. The ocean is a mirage. There are green acres in the distance that you can't see. Permit yourself to hurt for a little while, then lift your head: You will see the grass and be glad again. No matter the catastrophe. I promise.
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Before we built our house, my wife and I decided to purchase a house in town and fix it up to flip while we lived there. However, my wife's family, whom we were living with for several years after my son was born and who had given us an acre of land to build on, was devastated that we had purchased a home instead of building one near them. My wife's grandmother, who I love like my own, became so depressed that she nearly had to go to the hospital. This led to a huge change in my relationship with my wife as she began to blame me for the decision, the wounds of which still haven't healed even after all this time.I felt alone and isolated as I shouldered most of the blame even though I though I had made the right decision for my family. It's still a little hard, even after selling the house and building our home near my in-laws, to forget that experience and see our new house as our "First House"
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It's not selfish. Not at all. Everybody has their low-points. That's just how life goes. but along with those low-points, you get a lot of high points. Really you should take the sadness as a blessing. I know that sounds silly but hear me out; If you're this sad now, then you had to have known what it feels like to be really really happy, and although things aren't looking good right now, you know that you could become that happy again. You just have to get out there and try as hard as you can to reattain that happiness. For Instance, Summer is just around the bend (Given that you live in USA as I do.) And You could do anything. Absolutely anything with that time. And that means you could do ANYTHING to get those happy feelings back.
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When there are too many things to handle, we easily get overwhelmed. Things that keep you from defending your honor are usually couple of piled tasks that needs time and effort to be solved. Just convince yourself that everything's going to be Okay. And start from the closest thing you can do. It's always one step at a time. Don't forget it! After two or three days of problem solving, you will see the things are better than it used to be. As time goes on, the better your life will be. I know that you can make this through. Just do not give up coming out of your cave. Life is always challenge. And you can handle it, definitely!!!
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YES. this happened to me today. I literally thought I was going to drop out of school, become a bum, and die. I literally thought my life was over.
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It is certainly not vain and selfish so get your head around the thought that your feelings are more than just valid. They are you at the moment.
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It is certainly not vain and selfish so get your head around the thought that your feelings are more than just valid. They are you at the moment.
If this is your first experience I assure you that you will survive it. Read all these wonderful helpful comments and believe it or not everything is going to be okay!
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I would say I've experienced this two different ways; literally, it's been anxiety attacks. Those are just never pleasant and come at the worst of times.
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I would say I've experienced this two different ways; literally, it's been anxiety attacks. Those are just never pleasant and come at the worst of times.
Through devastation, it was my mother's passing. I was there, and though I'm glad I was, just the same it was one of the hardest situations I will ever experience. It wasn't that I couldn't breath, I didn't want to. To say things will never be 'okay' is wrong, because things have started to move along, settle into a rhythm again. But things will never be as they were, they'll never be better. My being okay now is me simply settling for not great - not as good as I could be.
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As soon as I read this I thought of a break up I went through over two years ago. We were living together 5 hours away from my hometown. He lied to me to get me to come home with him one weekend. I knew something was up but I couldn't figure it out. I texted a couple of my friends, with no response. We got to his parents house late and when I woke up in the morning he was gone. I kept asking where he had gone and everyone just kept avoiding the question. As I was sitting at the kitchen counter I realized he stole my apartment key. And I knew immediately what had happened. I said "That son of a b*tch is leaving me here isn't he?" and his mom said "well not right now but later on in the afternoon." I was so mad. Packed my purse with only what I could carry, wallet, I pod, cellphone, chargers and took off. I was out in the middle of the country. With no vehicle, So I called my younger sister to come get me and started walking down the snow covered road. After about 1/2 hour he showed up in his car, trying to stop me, grabbing at me (even though I told him not to) and saying he loved me. I just wanted him to leave me alone. Soon my older sister showed up demanding that I get into her SUV. I didn't want to saying that our other sister was coming. and she just kept saying " you need help, your getting help get in the car." I refused to her husband grabbed me and put me into the car. When they finally got me into the car the doors were locked from the outside so i couldn't getout without someone opening the door for me. She took me to my dad's which was even more in the country. After all piecing together things in a rage it became evident that my ex had told my family that I was going to kill myself and that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I stayed at my dad's for a whole weekend with nothing! no clean socks or underwear, or a toothbrush or a hairbrush or ANYTHING. On top of feeling the sting of the loss of a relationship that I so badly wanted to work, now my family was distrusting me forcing me to see therapists, calling me nonstop, threatening to call the cops and tell them I was trying to kill myself if i didn't do exactly what they said.
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As soon as I read this I thought of a break up I went through over two years ago. We were living together 5 hours away from my hometown. He lied to me to get me to come home with him one weekend. I knew something was up but I couldn't figure it out. I texted a couple of my friends, with no response. We got to his parents house late and when I woke up in the morning he was gone. I kept asking where he had gone and everyone just kept avoiding the question. As I was sitting at the kitchen counter I realized he stole my apartment key. And I knew immediately what had happened. I said "That son of a b*tch is leaving me here isn't he?" and his mom said "well not right now but later on in the afternoon." I was so mad. Packed my purse with only what I could carry, wallet, I pod, cellphone, chargers and took off. I was out in the middle of the country. With no vehicle, So I called my younger sister to come get me and started walking down the snow covered road. After about 1/2 hour he showed up in his car, trying to stop me, grabbing at me (even though I told him not to) and saying he loved me. I just wanted him to leave me alone. Soon my older sister showed up demanding that I get into her SUV. I didn't want to saying that our other sister was coming. and she just kept saying " you need help, your getting help get in the car." I refused to her husband grabbed me and put me into the car. When they finally got me into the car the doors were locked from the outside so i couldn't getout without someone opening the door for me. She took me to my dad's which was even more in the country. After all piecing together things in a rage it became evident that my ex had told my family that I was going to kill myself and that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. I stayed at my dad's for a whole weekend with nothing! no clean socks or underwear, or a toothbrush or a hairbrush or ANYTHING. On top of feeling the sting of the loss of a relationship that I so badly wanted to work, now my family was distrusting me forcing me to see therapists, calling me nonstop, threatening to call the cops and tell them I was trying to kill myself if i didn't do exactly what they said.
Obviously this is the compressed version of this story, and I don't want to be a writing piggy, but I'll tell you this it was hands down the worst situation I have ever gone through, and things never were the same. Thanks GOD! I was dating the worlds biggest p***y, who tells his mom, dad, brother, best friend, best friend's girlfriend (who happened to be my best friend), my mom, step dad, sister, brother in law, and nieces and nephews, that he's breaking up with me before he told me. that is a serious WTF! This situation still makes me sick to the stomache when I think about it. it makes me jittery, and sad and anxcious still, and it's been two years
But my life is better now. I am with someone who loves me for me, and would never dream of doing that to me. I don't know what your going through but my life got better, happier. you surround yourself with people who truly love you, for you. people who care about you. Keep your head high. Be classy. Be the better person. It's going to be okay (eventually). Just keep plugging away one day at a time, you will make it through.
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Yes, it's natural to feel that way. But things will always get better, even if you don't believe it, and you will grow from it.
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Yeah I think this happens to everyone. Sure, these things suck, but as the cliche goes, your character is built based on how you respond to bad situations, not your ability to avoid them.
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It's neither vain nor selfish. It's a panic attack.
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It's neither vain nor selfish. It's a panic attack.
and people have 'em all the time. figure out what brings 'em on. serious. professional. counseling.
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my gf does that to me on a regular basis, she gets pleasure from me squirming, and i am all too eager to do it
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Not vain and selfish, but human reaction to some major trauma and yes, been there, still remember the feelings from decades ago. Obviously, it gets better...
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That's just being Human Kerrie.
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That's just being Human Kerrie.
Now we all respond differently to stressful situations. But even those "wired to panic" can train themselves with confidence and coping strategies that will help them keep a cool head.
Yes, one could say the experience of "icy dread" is vain and selfish because the focus at that moment is entirely oneself. But as I said, to feel it is Human (to whatever degree one does, and we all do to some degree -- even if just to drive ourselves to defensive disassociation.).
But to give into it under-sells you as a Human. It is your life and you are in charge in a way that no other person, circumstance or object should ever be. Master yourself. If you find yourself feeling this way often or even all the time, you will probably need some kind of professional council if you don't want to journey through life always being controlled by people, circumstance or objects. (Basically, as their slave).
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yes..I was 12..I found myself standing at the end of a driveway..Remembering nothing and surrounded by a bunch of strangers..who turned out to be my family..
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I've never been devastated like that, no. I was born into trauma, so I learned early to distrust the world and to disassociate. Things have gotten better since then, so I'm trying to be better at trust.
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I've never been devastated like that, no. I was born into trauma, so I learned early to distrust the world and to disassociate. Things have gotten better since then, so I'm trying to be better at trust.
Anyway, I think the kind of trauma you're describing is more for those who had reasonably normal development and then whammo! I would think the therapy for a single (albeit crazy) event would be considerably shorter.
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Well, Yes....I survived the attacks on September 11, 2001 in Manhattan on West Street, while the First building was collapsing around me I was under a car face down on street up to my waist with my legs exposed to falling debri. I could not breathe and after it collapsed and I removed myself from the debri...I could no longer see the beautiful blue sky that morning, nor anyone else around me that was there prior to the collapse...I felt like the world stopped and I was the only one left standing...very surreal...The nightmares still keep me awake most nights.
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Several times, mostly during my young teenage years when I went through a severe and cyclic depression. It's not vain and selfish at all, though the funny thing is I would have thought the same of myself back then.
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Yes, I felt this way after I lost my first pregnancy. After the initial horror and grief, I felt dead inside. So I dropped everything and drove cross-country. I didn't have the money but I did it anyway. I met wise and wonderful people. I explored the magnificent natural world. I hung out in museums. I started paying more attention to the world, so I could get out of my own head….I realized I was far more capable, and strong, and lucky than I’d have ever thought possible.
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Yes, I felt this way after I lost my first pregnancy. After the initial horror and grief, I felt dead inside. So I dropped everything and drove cross-country. I didn't have the money but I did it anyway. I met wise and wonderful people. I explored the magnificent natural world. I hung out in museums. I started paying more attention to the world, so I could get out of my own head….I realized I was far more capable, and strong, and lucky than I’d have ever thought possible.
It wasn’t a practical decision, but it saved my life.
If you think you may be depressed here’s another thread on avoiding depression.
http://soulpancake.com/questions/view/73445/how-do-you-avoid-depression.html
I am sorry to hear you are in pain. Don’t underestimate what time, love, and a good counselor can do....the pain eventually crests like a wave and passes. You can ride it out.
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” Robert Frost
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no - If I could literally not breathe then I'd be dead...
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no - If I could literally not breathe then I'd be dead...
if you are talking about panic attacks however -
long time ago , yes -
actually did that rare thing - some serious work on the issues...
now I am happier than 95% of all known earth beings.
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All of the time. I just breathe deeply for a while and walk around. That usually helps a little.
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OH YES. I felt like this a few weeks ago when the guy I thought was the love of my existence and I broke up. I seriously thought I had found the one and I would have bet my life that he was it! I didn't know how I would survive and get through the break up, I didn't know how I would survive being us but I did. I did so by talking a lot about how heart broken I was to my friends and to anyone who would listen really, I cried a lot as well, but most of all I just kept breathing and then talked some more and cried even more. I've come to the conclusion that life is made up of moments. These moments can be happy, sad, sorrowful, but they are just moments, they are temporary...Some are long, some are short. In the end you enjoy the happy ones and get through the painful ones! I still cry sometimes but those moments pass..That's the beauty of it.
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Sounds like a possible panic attack to me. Yes, it does** feel awful and its sooo scary. But know that those feelings (both physical and emotional panic) DO end. You will ALWAYS recover from a panic attack. And you will always be ok again. Maybe different, changed, matured, but yes, you will be ok!!
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Sounds like a possible panic attack to me. Yes, it does** feel awful and its sooo scary. But know that those feelings (both physical and emotional panic) DO end. You will ALWAYS recover from a panic attack. And you will always be ok again. Maybe different, changed, matured, but yes, you will be ok!!
:) stick especially close to Jesus during these times my friend (if that feels organic to you)
ciao!
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Why would this be vain and selfish? Why would, at the end of a long and arduous journey of introspection- finding out in therapy for example that my mother did not love me- her only child- be vain? Why would feeling deep pain be selfish?
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Why would this be vain and selfish? Why would, at the end of a long and arduous journey of introspection- finding out in therapy for example that my mother did not love me- her only child- be vain? Why would feeling deep pain be selfish?
I dont get your mindset at all.
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it's happened to me.
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it's happened to me.
but we humans have a funny way of being "ok" with wherever we end up, in the long run.
i think.
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When my late husband died. I thought life had stopped. I knew beyond all doubt that I would never love again. Nothing and no one would ever fill that void left by him. Love would never be the same. At the age of 57 I was finished with life and love.
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