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We, humans, are social beings in nature. Sometimes, we really can’t help fussing over what others have to say about us. These people are already a part of who we are. Indeed, getting judged would hurt. It’s really just easier to slap it into their faces and stop caring... stop complying to what they want to see. But we can’t do that! We need others to grow and to recognize the faults we overlooked. I guess, the main issue here is who to believe. We really don’t have to listen to everyone— just the people that matters... those that we trust.
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I think we all have an internal compass. To be fair to myself I would go over all the points and look at the history and see if I can find a shred of truth in it. If I don't think it is true, not bother with the criticism. If I think it may partially be true or is true I would check to see If I do want to change or do anything about it. I would try to find out if it is causing me any grief, anxiety or any other issues. If I don't want to change it regardless, case closed. Atleast the next time someone says it you know the status......If I do then work towards changing it....cross check with a person you trust who does not have an agenda.
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Honestly, I care too much on what other people think of me that I immediately become paranoid. I think the main reason is that I have a low self-esteem and I fear that other people's thoughts would always be negative. I am so sensitive that I would immediately get embarrassed whenever my friends tease me. On the other hand, I always keep to myself whatever I think of others, except when they ask me of it, to avoid hurting their feelings. Even if I have/want to compliment them, I just remain silent.
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I was raised by a woman who was painfully concerned about what others thought, not only of her, but of her family. It has taken me years to (mostly) divest myself of such foolishness. I have also worked hard to instill a 'who cares' attitude in my children. Of course we want to be responsible, compassionate citizens. But wasting time and energy concerning ourselves with the opinions of others robs us of vitality, energy, and inner peace. Letting go of our concern about the judgement of others frees us to be who we really are, and that in turn opens our lives to the possibility of all we can become.
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You shouldn’t be too bothered about what others think. Our uniqueness is what makes us special. We shouldn’t let what others think control us. Everyday, more and more people put on masks just so they can fit in a society that judges its members and discriminates those who aren’t part of the status quo. These people slowly lose themselves and transform into something they really aren’t. I pity these people because they do not realize the beauty that is themselves. They would rather live in a black and white world instead of bringing about color by expressing one’s individuality.
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You shouldn’t be too bothered about what others think. Our uniqueness is what makes us special. We shouldn’t let what others think control us. Everyday, more and more people put on masks just so they can fit in a society that judges its members and discriminates those who aren’t part of the status quo. These people slowly lose themselves and transform into something they really aren’t. I pity these people because they do not realize the beauty that is themselves. They would rather live in a black and white world instead of bringing about color by expressing one’s individuality.
It is true that the opinion of others is important and should be taken into consideration but you should not let this define you as a person. Think about what they’ve said and change for the better if necessary but in the end, you make your own definition of who you are. Who the hell cares what others might think. This is your life. You are in control. By letting others influence you completely, you slowly become a mindless puppet who has no self worth. It is always important to be who you are. You are special. Don’t let others say otherwise.
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It depends on how they told me. In the situation you describe, I probably wouldn't give it too much weight
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Really? Never.
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Really? Never.
The beauty about being an individual is just that. And this is coming from a guy who really doesn't have a filter.
So don't let people bog you down because of what they think. Who cares? Why should you?
bc
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I always ask myself "Why would this person tell me this"? Many times people are jealous or being petty and are trying to make themselves feel better by tearing you down. People should be ignored more often than not.
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It's a tough one really, I am quite outspoken and blunt. I realise sometimes that my opinions, no matter how trivial the topic, can irritate others. However, if I started to bite my tongue I'd feel uncomfortable. I'd feel like people knew I was holding back for their sake. I say, BE YOURSELF, no matter what!
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It's a tough one really, I am quite outspoken and blunt. I realise sometimes that my opinions, no matter how trivial the topic, can irritate others. However, if I started to bite my tongue I'd feel uncomfortable. I'd feel like people knew I was holding back for their sake. I say, BE YOURSELF, no matter what!
:)
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don't care at all, the most important relationship in your life is with yourself, if you love yourself thats all that matters,
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It's important to listen to others about ways to improve yourself, so if I heard that someone said I was a bad listener for example, I would try to improve that. However, if someone is saying something to me that is not improving me and it's just negative I don't listen because they are just being hurtful. Caring about what people think about you has it's limits and I think it's important that we all recognize that and live our lives.
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I can honestly say that I don't give a damn what people in general think about me. Having said that, I also don't know of anyone who has any serious problems with me, so it would be easy for me to think that it's easy to ignore people's opinions. No one has ever criticized me very much, so I can't tell you for sure that this is how you should be, but in my opinion, it shouldn't make a bit of difference if someone doesn't like you. It's their problem, not yours.
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I think you should consider it, but not let that control your life. Don't allow others to change who you are.
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I don't understand that kind of behavior. I guess I also don't tolerate it. If people just don't like me they are welcome to form a double line to the left to kiss my entire a*s.
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It needs to be a consideration. Others often render valuable reflections of us, showing us things we cannot (will not?) see. Absolutely true reflections of ourselves can only come from surfaces that are still and quiet within themselves. These are the truly rare and precious people.
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It needs to be a consideration. Others often render valuable reflections of us, showing us things we cannot (will not?) see. Absolutely true reflections of ourselves can only come from surfaces that are still and quiet within themselves. These are the truly rare and precious people.
But even distorted reflections have a value. An offered reflection of you all twisted up like a funhouse mirror can actually be amusing -- quietly speaking volumes to you about the sad state of "the reflector's" internal landscape.
I think the balanced person -- a person who knows themselves and can quiet themselves internally to give others valid reflections of themselves -- is of great value. It sounds like you can already see that your friends is distorting everything to the negative. That's who they currently choose to be. Maybe in time, you can help your friend in calming and stilling and perfecting their own reflective surface. Right now it sounds like it's all screwed up with feelings of inadequacies that require them ragging on your perceived faults. Can you in a way, see it as flattering? They see you as "enough together" in the positive . . . that it's a threat to them that SCREAMS to be balanced by hanging all these negatives on it?
Maybe say to them (in the proper time of course!), "OK, you've shared the negatives. Now I'd like to hear the positives. And remember that it takes approximately 7 positives to weigh out just one negative!". And let them squirm a bit!
(BTW, the 7:1 ration applies more to a person who doesn't already know their own self-worth. For those who do, just a few or even one positive feedback can outweigh many negatives. In this regard, an "enemy" can be more valuable to the well-balanced person than a friend: because an enemy won't be so inclined to mince their words and will probably pull out the biggest gun they can against you. Meaning that there will probably be some truth there hoping to deal you a crippling blow. The "shield" against this, is to not be so threatened by it to avoid unpacking it a bit for examination -- later and at your own leisure. When in-conflict with them, simply smile and thank them for the input. It will drive them crazy!!).
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Well, it certainly does depend on the source. It also depends on the intentions of someone.
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