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I'm a firm believer that every person on this planet is placed there for some specific reason. I'm 17 years old, and feel quite hopeless and lost all the damn time.. I frequently contemplate suicide.I stay alive to find my reason why. I want to find why I was meant to stay alive.
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On the days I can't muster living for myself, I live for my friend Matt who died due to brain damage he received in a high school football game. Matt was one of the liveliest people I have ever met, so on days when I don't see a reason to keep going, I live for Matt.
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1. my boyfriend
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1. my boyfriend
2. my friends
3. my family
4. to witness things, to witness change to the world
5. to live through amazing things
6. so i can grow to reproduce, and give another person life
7. because i am not ready to leave this world yet
8. because i want to do good in this world, even if it is a very small thing
9. because God put me here for a purpose, who am i to question it?
10.because i am afraid of leaving this world
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10. to push past what I thought was possible, even if only mentally
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10. to push past what I thought was possible, even if only mentally
9. to be alive at the end of history
8. cause who knows what tomorrow, or really even the next few minutes, has in store
7. to see how this body that I have known so long and so intimately will grow/change/be upgraded/age/etc.. over time
6. to witness humanity's triumph or, alternatively, the rise of the machines/apes/aliens
5. to fall in love (again) and not flinch
4. to further unravel the mystery of my existence
3. to listen to the next albums from my 2 favorite bands
2. to perhaps talk to HER again, when a lot older
1. cause I'm not ready for the alternative quite yet
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1. I was born and given the opportunity, so I should use it.
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1. I was born and given the opportunity, so I should use it.
2. God
3. Family
4. Husband
5. Cats
6. Helping Others
7. Lake Michigan
8. Music
9. Worship
10. Friendship
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1. I haven't quite LIVED yet.
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1. I haven't quite LIVED yet.
2. My Mommy
3. My Family & Friends
4. I wanna find love and maintain it for atleast 15 years and have my ultimate superhero inspired wedding. =P
5. I haven't taken over the world yet.
6. I haven't succeed in my dream career(s) yet.
7. I haven't moved into a high rise yet with an epic view of my favorite city.
8. I haven't had my interview with Oprah yet.
9. I haven't finished my fantasy-ficion loosely based on my life story yet.
10. I wanna know what happens next. .
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Life is a business decision.
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Life is a business decision.
I have made a 17 year investment, thus far.
And the interest has been accumulating.
But that's all I do with it, let it accumulate.
I think the main reason for life is to find a purpose for your accumulated interest, not just to let it accumulate.
One day I will have to cash in, of course, but not today.
And hopefully by that time, I will have passed my investments on to someone else.
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1. I'm responsible to everyone else who is finding the balls to live.
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1. I'm responsible to everyone else who is finding the balls to live.
2. I'm responsible to my children...they need a loving mother.
3. I've not accomplished my purpose.
4. I found the love of my life at 42.
5. Nature.
6. The ocean specifically.
7. The next time I dance with abandon surrounded by my girlfriends.
8. Could stand to get spend a day in a bar again. That's fun.
9. Art - haven't seen or produced enough of it.
10. Oprah and I have yet to meet.
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To explore what I have not yet.
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To explore what I have not yet.
To learn about as much as I can about everything and anything
To watch my son grow up and see the man he becomes
To bring my creations to life and share them
To travel and see the world
To bring people hope who think there is none
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TO be the best me I can be!
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TO be the best me I can be!
To love!
To be loved!
To share experiences.
To be in community with others.
To enjoy the journey.
To learn lessons.
To live the lessons I learn.
To teach.
To express myself artistically...whatever that means on any given day.
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Realistically speaking:
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Realistically speaking:
1. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
2. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
3. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
4. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
5. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
6. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
7. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
8. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
9. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
10. I am too chicken sh*t to experience death.
That's what it all boils down too. I don't want to die or anything sincerely but I'm pretty sure if the darkness starts kicking in and I am conscious enough to struggle against deaths grip, I'm going to be thinking, "ohshitohshitohshit" as adrenaline rushes through my body and I snap the clot out of my artery. Or someones pointing a gun in my head or I just woke up from a car crash. So pretty much pure terror is my reason to live.
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1. I need to explore this world before i go on to the next
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1. I need to explore this world before i go on to the next
2. I have to much ambition to die right now
3. Liv Tyler
4. I need to outlive Ray Kurzweil
5. Musical Exploration and Masturbation (my 2 favorite "tions")
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1. I can't just stop now.
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1. I can't just stop now.
2. Realizing that taking my own life is not worth it.
3. That I love the people around me.
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1. Me
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1. Me
2. my dreams
3. have Fun
4. Smile
5. my girlfriend
6. family
7. friends
8. see another day
9. try new things
10. discover new things
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I only get to do it once, so I might as well take every thing out I can get out of it.
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I'm gonna let Treat Williams sing my list for you.
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I'm gonna let Treat Williams sing my list for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1LRD3DtFAo
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Like everyone my family and friends make life worth living, being there for them, supporting them (emotionally), protecting them, and guiding them.
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Like everyone my family and friends make life worth living, being there for them, supporting them (emotionally), protecting them, and guiding them.
I guess without family or friends the number one reason to live would be the fear of dying.
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1. Because God loves me.
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