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TimeBaby

- 4 months ago

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Modern Rites of Passage?

What events do we all encounter in our lives? Do we answer the call or do we ignore? For instance, I remember ignoring the call to get my driver's license at 16. For whatever reason I deemed it was too much pressure, much to my gear-headed father's confusion. Not only was this an unpopular choice (television and movies told me chicks love a high school kid that can drive a car,) but self-limiting. I got a license three years later, finally living down the terrible experiences of Driver's Ed.

We all have a relationship to driving, and the way you encounter it says something uniquely you.

Looking back on your life and the lives of others, what other rites of passage do you remember confronting? What have you turned down for good reason? What have you conquered?

source: http://wiki.phalkefactory.net/index.php?title=Hero%E2%80%99s_Journey

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Standing up for what I believe is right and wrong no matter what.

Moving away from home and living on my own.
Being responsible to complete my education.
Doing a three day solo hike in the Sierras.
Obtaining and holding down a job.
Choosing to enter into a marriage partnership.
Working as a team to make a home.
Giving birth to my children....that was really when I went "over the wall' and saw how I had come full circle from being a child to bearing and caring for my own children.
Mentoring and giving back to my community. Carrying a banner, any one banner of the hundreds of causes that need thousands and thousands of nameless foot soldiers willing to fight the good fight - doing my small but necessary part to push the boulder of civilization an inch further forward.
Caring for my aging parents and relatives.
And finally, I myself, bearing the yoke of aging and weakening, and (potentially) suffering and sickness with as much grace as possible.

I think the biggest rite of passage is the transition from childhood naivete to the reality of adulthood. Whether it's a moment, a series of facts, or an experience. Nothing was worse for me than realizing that Santa wasn't real. Later, when I was told about God, the loss wasn't as bad.

This graphic of a dominating structure for Western story telling does not function as a compass for the reality of life.

See also.
http://www.ted.com/talks/tyler_cowen_be_suspicious_of_stories.html?utm_source=newsletter_weekly_2012-01-13&utm_campaign=newsletter_weekly&utm_medium=email

Having said that; I did pee myself once while on the phone with animal control when I confronted a bear going through my trash. Turns out, it was the second time someone had called to complain about the same bear- the animal control captured and killed the bear. So, basically- I killed the bear and finally felt like a man.

What an excellent question and I love this graphic. I'm going to have to study it and think about this before I answer. I will get back to you.

Different subcultures have different rites... stuff I turned down: sleeping around. I wanted true love. Taking jobs that would defraud people. Felt it would make me too fake. Was pushed into acting, but left that after one play and two semesters because felt it was professional lying. Then was pushed into sales, and basically the same thing.

Reality is, of course, I did not want to do these things because I was already fake and lying all the time and such things would blow my cover.

Shooting a deer is a big one here. You gotta shoot one at like 14 to be a man.

Death comes for us all at least once in our lifetime and walks away..

IDK that I have ever experienced a "rite of passage" so much. I didn't get my drivers license until I was 19 and bought my own car. (my mother didn't get her drivers license until she was in her 30's and my grandmother didn't get hers until she was in her 70's) . perhaps, being a girl, it just wasn't "expected" of me, IDK. and my kids didn't get thier drivers licences until they could afford thier own cars...and the insurance that goes with them.
and I didn't go out and get drunk on my 21st birthday. nor did my kids. mainly because, I think, the idea of consumming alcohol was not "forbidden fruit". I never felt the need to go to parties where the main focus was sneaking out and buying beer and getting drunk. nor did my kids. I drank beer and wine (as did my parents) and my kids were allowed to have a glass every now and then, as I was. none of us could really understand the fascination with getting drunk. it's highly overrated. and dangerous.

I find that modern society doesn't have any effective or decisive rights of passage. Learning to drive is a "so-so"; and one's first (official?) drunk is HIGHLY over-rated. Which is perhaps why we have so many 20-somethings running around still referring to and thinking of themselves as "kids". You may just have to go out and invent your own.

Key in my young life, (back when life was simpler and safer!) were my first time camping out "with" and then camping out alone (both in the backyard!); a talk with my father at age 13 about how in many cultures I would now be considered an adult so I needed to learn to become my own "parent" and look out for myself. A longer camping trip out in true wilderness with friends when I was about 15 also factored huge for driving home the fact I was no longer a kid. Probably the hugest coming-of-age experience for me was a Native vision quest where I went out alone into wilderness.

I don't think there was any one "act" or ceremony that definitely marked passage from "child" to "adult". Each one was a "next step" along the way. And each was in it's way, a "proclamation" or an "assertion" of the idea that I was no longer a child. Each involved some sort of hardship, of overcoming trial that in foresight, seemed too much a stretching of myself. But in hindsight, I stretched and grew and didn't break.

we could all do with some equivalent of the Bar Mitzvah - something that marks a transition from childhood -
I don't think the getting drunk at 21 (or 18) is a good one...
much prefer the ones that require some kind of ceremony that involves actual passage, and challenge -
Australian Aboriginal walkabout for example...

the ones I look back on, that most go through, are the passage into senior school, and losing virginity.
Not particularly effective in making me more mature... as good ritual rites of passage should.

If you're a male, especially in college, you're supposed to take 21 shots on your 21st birthday. I did it, but I definitely see why people would refrain from something like that. It can take a toll on you and even kill you if not handled properly.

SoulPancake

TimeBaby

Modern Rites of Passage?

mattiepoo

Standing up for what I believe is right and wrong no matter what.

Me2You

beautifulbokonon

I think the biggest rite of passage is the transition from childhood naivete to the reality of adulthood. Whether it's a moment, a series of facts, or an experience. Nothing was worse for me than realizing that Santa wasn't real. Later, when I was told about God, the loss wasn't as bad.

willlittle

Me2You

What an excellent question and I love this graphic. I'm going to have to study it and think about this before I answer. I will get back to you.

willspirit

TheEgoist

Shooting a deer is a big one here. You gotta shoot one at like 14 to be a man.

RussellWilson

Death comes for us all at least once in our lifetime and walks away..

melb2

Griz

flashbanding

AlwaysTerrified

If you're a male, especially in college, you're supposed to take 21 shots on your 21st birthday. I did it, but I definitely see why people would refrain from something like that. It can take a toll on you and even kill you if not handled properly.

Modern Rites of Passage?

Standing up for what I believe is right and wrong no matter what.

I think the biggest rite of passage is the transition from childhood naivete to the reality of adulthood. Whether it's a moment, a series of facts, or an experience. Nothing was worse for me than realizing that Santa wasn't real. Later, when I was told about God, the loss wasn't as bad.

What an excellent question and I love this graphic. I'm going to have to study it and think about this before I answer. I will get back to you.

Shooting a deer is a big one here. You gotta shoot one at like 14 to be a man.

Death comes for us all at least once in our lifetime and walks away..

If you're a male, especially in college, you're supposed to take 21 shots on your 21st birthday. I did it, but I definitely see why people would refrain from something like that. It can take a toll on you and even kill you if not handled properly.

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