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notpokerface

- 4 months ago

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Your spouse or partner just got paralyzed and will never have mobility again. Will you stay with them? Or will you walk away?

A lot of responsibility comes when a tragedy like this happens. And, let's face it, you might want to cheat sometimes, you want physical attention. It all depends on how long you've been together, how old you are, if you have children or not, if you have a support network, if you have money to pay for their care, so many things.

I once asked one of my old girlfriends, "would you love me if I were morbidly obese?" She said, "no... would you?" I laughed, and guilty, I did say no. Granted, not the same situation! Maybe there's a selfish and vain part of us that says no.

Or maybe, we stay, because this is not about free onion rings every day.

source: http://www.thewaygookeffect.com/

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I think this is one of those questions where you can say whatever you want, but it's all just talk until you're actually in the situation - and not just the first year or second year, but six or seven. Even wonderful relationships end at 6-7 years. Maybe there's another person who would enjoy being with the person and make them feel better about their situation than living every day with someone who regrets the situation?! If I were the person in the wheel chair I might want to date someone else in a wheelchair. Screw the partner who's always going to look down at me and feel sorry - let's get on with our lives!

I would absolutely stay. I know my husband's needs and I know that he and I are meant to be together. Our vows weren't "till it gets really bad and we don't want to keep trying." they were "Till death do us part, through sickness and health." I don't think that I would be the wife I was meant to be if I left when it got rough, and honestly, he and I have been through much, much worse that paralytic injury together - as strange as that may sound. He and I can take anything on.

I do have a career that I'm pursuing and taking care of my husband and career would be most challenging. In the end, I believe that I would stay with my husband. The reason why I love my husband is not because he can do certain things for me.

I would stay without a doubt. My relationship with my husband is about much more than taking walks together. When I was recovering from childbirth and we couldn't have sex, did he leave me for 6 weeks? Nope, he was there helping me care for our child. Also, I have 70% of my orgasms from the amazing oral sex that my husband enthusiastically enjoys.

I can't honestly answer this with a resounding yes or no.

There are so many factors at play. How serious the injury, monetary stability, ages of children, etc.

But I think the most important thing is the attitude of the injured person. No matter who much people might love each other, there may be times where one's bleak outlook or negativity could drive the other away.

The question is interesting because it seems to presume that their mental capability is the same. Without too many boring details, there is a man who lives in my town whose wife left him after a terrible car accident that he recovered from physically, but brain damage completely changed his way of living life. He was no longer the person she fell in love with. Is that somehow different than a physical impairment with no mental repercussions? I put it to you that it might be.

I would kill us both and spend a life far away from here with the one I love..

why would you leave them because they can't walk? They're still the person you fell in love with and you said sometimes you want physical attention but in my opinion love beats sex everytime. I would stay they would need me more than ever at that point. It would be incredibly selfish to leave and if you even consider it you may as well do it because clearly you don't love them and they deserve much better than you

"Or will you walk away?" I kind of laughed at that.. Question about paralyzed spouses... Walking away...

Anyway! I would definitely stay if my spouse got paralyzed. If someone is truly committed to and love's their partner, they would stay and not even have to think about it.

The nature of true love is that we are willing to remain more for their sake than for ours.

Human nature is that we inevitably start weighing the cost/benefit ration and even start looking for what we need elsewhere.

And then the nature of true love convicts us of not standing by them

And then Human nature feeds on this to make us feel even worse than we already did.

(Along the lines of "Are we there to service something greater than us . . . or just us?")

It's a difficult path to walk.
But at least with the morbidly obese scenario it doesn't "just happen"; meaning there are lots of opportunities to lovingly help them off that path.

I could not leave knowing somebody I loved was in pain.

STAY! Ridiculous, I can't imagiine leaving a loved one at a time they need me most. Obesity? Choice? If my partner was doing something to cause their situation and refused to change it would be different, but if by mishappenstance or accident I would be stuck to them like glue!

you'd know your answer based on your being with your significant other out in public and he / she passes gas.........do you walk away discretely? Or do you stay with them even if around other people?
If you're the type of person who would take credit for my own fart, then marry me.

I dated a girl for two years who needed a lot of care. She had chromes and ulcer colitis, which are diseases of the large and small intestines. She had over 65 surgeries, lots of medications, etc. She wasn't paralyzed or anything but taking care of her was at time challenging. We did break up, although for other reasons, but I can at least say I have some life experience in taking care of an ill significant other. But it's hard to say if they were paralyzed, that you would you stick around forever. We'd all like to think we could but who knows.

I think you'd have to be put in the situation to be able to answer this question properly. Some people say that they'd stick around now but when faced with the actual situation, your opinion can change. I'm not saying that everyone's opinion would change, but it is quite possible for it to happen.

Dump em. Are you joking. Make sure they don't want euthanasia first. Was just thinking about that last night. "What if I lost my genitals?" Who would want to live that way. Kill yourself and reboot. Get a new set of ID. And leave yourself some notes someway so you can remember who you are and were, if that is important. Great for freaking out old friends. See, I faked my own death, just like I said I would! Moohuahaha.

full immobility, or from the waist down?

I made a promise to stay the day I said my wedding vows.

I suppose that depends in part on this question: why are you with your spouse in the first place? If the answer is dependent on on their mobility (ie, because they are attractive, because of the sex, because of the money they make...), then I would guess you'd walk if they no longer could. However, if you are with your spouse for reasons not related to their mobility (ie, because of who they are, because you truly love them...) I would assume that even extreme sickness would not prompt you to bail on them.

I know that's a trite kind of thing to say in some ways--that love would cause you to stay--but I think that's the truth. Love doesn't ditch people when they need you most. Love sticks it out. So really the question is, do you love your spouse? Really love them?

I would definitely stay

@notpokerface USA

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notpokerface

Your spouse or partner just got paralyzed and will never have mobility again. Will you stay with them? Or will you walk away?

lambjams

Phylsgyrl

musicnaenae

I do have a career that I'm pursuing and taking care of my husband and career would be most challenging. In the end, I believe that I would stay with my husband. The reason why I love my husband is not because he can do certain things for me.

jedikelb

rjhope

Vice

RussellWilson

I would kill us both and spend a life far away from here with the one I love..

thf18

snowfright

"Or will you walk away?" I kind of laughed at that.. Question about paralyzed spouses... Walking away...

Anyway! I would definitely stay if my spouse got paralyzed. If someone is truly committed to and love's their partner, they would stay and not even have to think about it.

Griz

Morivou

I could not leave knowing somebody I loved was in pain.

Vally

STAY! Ridiculous, I can't imagiine leaving a loved one at a time they need me most. Obesity? Choice? If my partner was doing something to cause their situation and refused to change it would be different, but if by mishappenstance or accident I would be stuck to them like glue!

JonathanBohemian

you'd know your answer based on your being with your significant other out in public and he / she passes gas.........do you walk away discretely? Or do you stay with them even if around other people?
If you're the type of person who would take credit for my own fart, then marry me.

ryanbballer54

ghostsfalling

I think you'd have to be put in the situation to be able to answer this question properly. Some people say that they'd stick around now but when faced with the actual situation, your opinion can change. I'm not saying that everyone's opinion would change, but it is quite possible for it to happen.

willspirit

DTorres1991

full immobility, or from the waist down?

ransomed

I made a promise to stay the day I said my wedding vows.

OccasionalReveler

Santamon12

I would definitely stay

Your spouse or partner just got paralyzed and will never have mobility again. Will you stay with them? Or will you walk away?

I do have a career that I'm pursuing and taking care of my husband and career would be most challenging. In the end, I believe that I would stay with my husband. The reason why I love my husband is not because he can do certain things for me.

I would kill us both and spend a life far away from here with the one I love..

"Or will you walk away?" I kind of laughed at that.. Question about paralyzed spouses... Walking away...Anyway! I would definitely stay if my spouse got paralyzed. If someone is truly committed to and love's their partner, they would stay and not even have to think about it.

I could not leave knowing somebody I loved was in pain.

STAY! Ridiculous, I can't imagiine leaving a loved one at a time they need me most. Obesity? Choice? If my partner was doing something to cause their situation and refused to change it would be different, but if by mishappenstance or accident I would be stuck to them like glue!

you'd know your answer based on your being with your significant other out in public and he / she passes gas.........do you walk away discretely? Or do you stay with them even if around other people? If you're the type of person who would take credit for my own fart, then marry me.

I think you'd have to be put in the situation to be able to answer this question properly. Some people say that they'd stick around now but when faced with the actual situation, your opinion can change. I'm not saying that everyone's opinion would change, but it is quite possible for it to happen.

full immobility, or from the waist down?

I made a promise to stay the day I said my wedding vows.

I would definitely stay

What's Next?

"Or will you walk away?" I kind of laughed at that.. Question about paralyzed spouses... Walking away...

Anyway! I would definitely stay if my spouse got paralyzed. If someone is truly committed to and love's their partner, they would stay and not even have to think about it.

you'd know your answer based on your being with your significant other out in public and he / she passes gas.........do you walk away discretely? Or do you stay with them even if around other people?
If you're the type of person who would take credit for my own fart, then marry me.