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When we are not at ease, and we are in situations where we CAN see a possible solution, we complain. It is because Humans are spoiled into there decisions
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I think that it's only natural. We are human, we have feelings, we get annoyed, and complaining is a way of releasing that annoyance. I think that in our heads and hearts, as you put it, we don't think how we feel is insignificant until after we have time to process it. At immediate reaction, we're not inclined to think how we feel is insignificant. It takes a minute for us to get to that point and realize: "Okay, I'm just bitching. It's really not that big of a deal".
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I complain in my head all of the time-- pre-inventing arguments with other people so that I'll feel prepared if/when the argument breaks out. It's horrible because I EXPECT other people to want to pick a fight with me. I'm not sure how I got this way--a combination of nature + nurture I suppose. It's a nasty habit to break but I'm making an effort to be mindful of when it happens. We're not competing with each other. We're on the same team!
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Thanks for all the responses. Def all thought provoking responses. I posted this because I caught myself complaining (to myself) about something so stupid. Obviously, it's virtually impossible to completely not complain about things. But to complain about something like folding my own laundry? Big whoop, right? At least I HAVE clothes!
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Complaining makes us temporarily feel better. I think it's necessary to complain about something every once in a while, but it might be very unhealthy to make it a habit. Complaining leads to misery because the focus is on the crappiest part of our lives, and the great parts are ignored.
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I was just about to ask this, but figured someone else had. It's so easy to complain. Humans love to focus on the negative because it stands out from the freaking amazing things that happen all the time. "Oh I'm alive today, no one died, I have a job, I have food, I am conscious, I have all of my limbs, etc." but if there's ONE thorn like "Oh, I have a cold," then that's the easiest thing to focus on. It seems that humans are trained to FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS-- and the less there is to focus on, the easier it is to obsess.
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The whining that I think you are on about is just a reflection of people's general subconscious dissatisfaction with their own lives, but which they secretly would prefer not to have to change by becoming happy.
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Because we feel the need to express what we feel sometimes. otherwise it will just stay in your system.
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I think it is a basic human need to avoid stress...And of coure, we need listeners and their support.
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I think sometimes people complain because they feel the need to let it out of their system. I admit; I complain when I hear something I can't stand, or something that I don't believe in. I think it's okay as long as you do it to people that won't be bothered by it, or you do it once to get it out of your system. But constant complaining is just annoying and immature in my opinion.
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Sometimes we just want to vent after a stressful and/or frustrating event or period in our lives. It's a way to unload and makes us feel better. Be there for those people, hear them out and then help them get back on track. Done.
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Sometimes we just want to vent after a stressful and/or frustrating event or period in our lives. It's a way to unload and makes us feel better. Be there for those people, hear them out and then help them get back on track. Done.
This is different from the chronic complainers is life, to whom Eeyore is an optimist and Murphy's Law is their code of life. These people need to be watched and preferably from a safe distance. No NOT be there for these people, if you have them in your life give them the pink slip and run away in the opposite direction.
But I digress....
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Ha! I was just talking about this with my wife. Listening to the conversations going on with the parents at my daughter's gymnastics practice, all I hear is women comparing their stories, every one of them a complaint (I am the only dude there, so I'm not singling out women).
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Ha! I was just talking about this with my wife. Listening to the conversations going on with the parents at my daughter's gymnastics practice, all I hear is women comparing their stories, every one of them a complaint (I am the only dude there, so I'm not singling out women).
We were talking about how, as children, someone would say "I have so much homework tomorrow" to which another would reply that they also had a test, chimed in by a third who had a project due as well.
It's almost like complaining is a competition. Reminded me of a Monty Python sketch, "The Four Yorkshiremen."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
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I think it's simply the easiest way there is to express dissatisfaction without actually having to do something constructive about it.
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I think it's simply the easiest way there is to express dissatisfaction without actually having to do something constructive about it.
As I see chantarella has said, to never complain would be unhealthy (and more than a bit spooky!). The balance is important. Recognize dissatisfaction. Assess whether it's something critically important, a "would be nice" or just a belly-ache. Also assess whether one is constantly coming up with them. That too is a sign of an internal imbalance that only you can do something about.
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The other extreme are those who never complain which is also unhealthy. Or would you consider a stoic sufferer something good?
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The other extreme are those who never complain which is also unhealthy. Or would you consider a stoic sufferer something good?
Its all in the balance.
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When my cup of wine is full and the pouring does not stop..I kick and scream as it overflows.
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There are so many degrees of this "complaining" concept. Complaining seems more like an ingredient in a larger observation to me, as opposed to a menu item of itself.
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