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I'm not to sure how people get through it. I know a lot of councelors recommend using elastic bands to snap on their wrists, ice cubes etc..... but everyone i've ever spoken to who self harms says the same! when you want to self harm..you self harm! not use alternative methods!! I see a lot of self harmers through work, and would love to know a way through for them. I agree with AJokerman too, everyone to some extend has self harmed, be it mentally beat yourself up over something or physically harm! so that says it has to be something in human nature! I think it needs a different outlet, completely different, not sure what though! And i agree family intervention i can see helping, or intervention from someone who cares and will listen!
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I did cut a few years back. The first time I did it... I think it was that I was having an emotion problem and no one around me seemed to care (this ended up not being true) so I did it to get the attention of those around me and to make them see that I was hurting. But after that first superficial time, I began doing it because it was just "something that I did." Like some punch their pillow or call their best friend when they feel mad/upset, that was just what I did when I felt emotions coming for various reasons. I reconnected with my friends once they realized that I had a problem, and they showed me happiness. I found To Write Love On Her Arms, and talked to people just like me who had the same problem. It's been a few years since I cut, and I feel strange writing this because I'm a completely different person now. I absolutely love life, and am happy constantly now. So, friends, music, TWLOHA, that's how I got through. And now things are wonderful :)
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I forget which pschology guru said this ( I think it was Gunderson?) but without self-harming, he would be very hesitant to give the diagnosis "Borderline". Bipolar is sometimes intermingled. Has anyone here officially been given one of these diagnoses?
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I am praying for the person in that photo right now - I hope they get help today - and i pray for anyone who is hurting that much and i urge you to seek help now. you don't have to be religious to seek help from a church or temple. or try a medical professional.
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with self harm, there's a sense of deadness? apathy? no meaning. give the person a place where they can feel comfortable, where they feel cared for. Give them a sense of purpose, something to do, distraction. Help them to discover their talents, to stick with what they know, and feel comfortable with. I would never be ashamed of the scars on my arm. I don't hide them, I don't deny them - they're part of who I was. I'm cool with that - especially because I know I've moved beyond it. It's such a horrendously prevalent problem - denying it, hiding it, avoiding it, and then we think our social culture's okay, when it's not. Awareness is needed---
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It runs in my family. I hurt myself as a teenager, as did my sister, and my brother committed suicide. Personally, I needed family intervention and lots of therapy.
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Depending on how broadly you interpret the question, I think everyone has fallen into self-harm at one point or another. The only personal instance I can think of, though - that seems to be somewhat apposite in terms of the picture - was when my friend and I each put out multiple ciggarettes on ourselves in order to see who was tougher. There was a lot of drinking involved, and more laughter than anything else, though, so I don't think it really qualifies; and when I look back on it now, all I can really do is laugh: absolutely ridiculous.
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i have resorted to pills and cutting, yes. neither served me the realization or love gets me through my life without self harm
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i used to "fall into self harm"....i didn't really fall though, more like jumped right in. Some people think that you do it because you want/need attention--or because you're an "emo", not me. For me it was like an addiction almost. i'd get really pissed and make a few marks on my arms so i could feel. feel some think real and SOLID. you say you "feel" love, happiness, sadness, joy, etc....not me...i may have THOUGHT i felt love or happiness but none of it was real or tangible. pain was the only think that i knew was real and legit. i could FEEL it, i could SEE it. i KNEW it couldn't disguise itself for something else. i didnt feel like i was doing something bad or wrong, i'd just call it constructive art--or visual art...or something like that. i never did it to KILL myself...only to merely skim the surface...just remind myself i could feel something...anything.. one night i went a little too far and realized it had to end....that there are bigger things in life then that bullshit. look up at the stars...the infinite vastness. how can you NOT be amazed? I'd like to say that in that whole experience i found my religion and faith and all that, and it helped me through---maybe in some twisted underlying way it did, but in my mind--i found nothing more or nothing less. i still have scars that show...reminding me i can feel----> but i swear its like a f'kin addiction. when i look at them---sometimes it just makes me wanna skiimmm the surface a bit. dont worry, i refrain----idk... i guess i'm just all around f'd up at this point :) sorry
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You guys should check this organization out... TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS http://www.twloha.com/" target="_blank">http://www.twloha.com/
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my friend told me that she would hit herself, on the inside of her elbow. we are really close friends so it was easy for her to tell me that she was causing self-harm. i talked to her about why she was doing this and i helped her stop this habit. i suggested she should talk to a conselour, which she did. i also told her that when she was upset, to hit a stuffed animal or her pillow. but she stopped her habit before she needed to hit her pillow.
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If you know a young person who cuts him/herself, is into scarification, or is heavily into piercing and tattooing please try to talk to them in a respectful and informative way. These activities are so commonplace and seemingly harmless to today's youth. But they leave scars on one's person for life. I have a small set of scars on my arm from branding the letters NGU (for never give up) with a hot paper-clip when I was 14 years old. Now I'm 28, an attorney and a soon 2 be bride. I'm so embarrassed of these small marks, always thinking people see it and know that something is or was wrong with me. I wish I had the foresight to not scar myself at such a young age. I hope to share this information with another young person but they are so head-strong at that age. So, don't be afraid or think it's not your business if you know someone and notice that they may be self-harming. Most do it as a cry for help anyway. So, listen and share and don't be too judgmental. Also pray for them and everyone else.
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I suppose it's not true for everyone, but most of what I've seen has fallen into two categories as far as reasons- 1.feeling numb and using physical pain to feel something or 2.asking for help. With me, it was a combination usually. I went through some very unique circumstances that kept me heavily medicated, and emotionally numb. Physical pain was the only thing I felt. Inflicting it upon myself felt like the only control I had over my own life. There's a lot of very simple ways to handle it all "coping mechanisms"- but they are simple to do, not to learn. Old habits die hard, and, especially with limited resources, it can be very hard to choose to go out and get a hair cut, go hiking, whatever it is that you find that helps, every time you feel the need. It is so hard to tell yourself that there is another option. The battle against yourself is the hardest of them all.
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The advice you get here is good, but sometimes we have the feeling we have nobody to turn to and have to do it all on our own and that can leave us with a feeling of being overwhelmed. This kind of selfharming is oftentimes very persevering and not so easy to get rid of. At any rate, there are therapists who specialize in things like this. Very often it is a part of Borderline Personality Disorder. The type of therapy used most for this diagnosis is DBT therapy which was invented by M. Linehan. Perhaps there is a center near you? My mother has borderline personality disorder. She attempted suicide once and threatened it for the rest of her life as a form of blackmail. I was in therapy for a long time to get over an emotionally abusive childhood.
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my dad killed him self in my room.. my 2 Nieces did this .to them self... one of my brothers is in prison 3nd time.. one of my friends killed her self year later after her daughter died.. want me to go on.. ,p...; n,o.......... that is in the pass.............. how did I get though this........i do what i can .. for one of my nieces i found one cutting on her arm.. i ask her why are you doing this .. she said, " the pain of the world is to much to bear.. all the sadness made her sad.." so i told her to give me the box cutter she was using... and i started cutting my arm.. she yelled at me stop gala what are you doing .. and i yelled at her back WHAT are you doing she yelled at me back, i said, what are you doing.. I yelled back at her.. yah what are you doing.. we look at each other and we started laughing.. "ok gala i get your point ", she said.. ... about my dad and friend .. i just have to say this i respect them and even if it is a bad choose i still will love them and respect their choose.. ...... and i let the pass live in the pass... end of story..
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