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RainbowCourage

- 1 year ago

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How do you silence your inner critic?

For my entire life, I have struggled with my own critic...you know the voice...it is the person that sounds like me, but says things that I would never accept from another person. For example, tonight I was driving home from the art store. Ever since I suffered a traumatic brain injury 10 months ago, I have been a budding artist. I shifted from being a left brain CEO to a right brain abstract expressionist. Within the last few days, my left brain has come on line in new ways...and with it has come a critic that says all sorts of terrible things. So, on the way home from the art store, I heard this voice in my head begin to logically suggest that "I should just get back to my job (which I'm not capable of doing at the moment). This art thing is stupid. I suck at it anyways." I would never allow someone else to speak to me in this manner, so I know that this voice is not my own. Call it what you will - old tapes, voices of people in my past, self doubt - I can say this...it may sound like my voice, but it isn't. It may be seductive at times to give in to the authoritative tone of the critic, but for me this is my path of destruction. I have had to learn to quiet my critic the hard way - by recovering from a TBI for the last 10 months with post concussive syndrome. I couldn't get out of bed for some time because my symptoms were so severe. Recovery has been SLOW. I don't want to learn this lesson again. How do I quiet it? I just say...SHHHHH..and continue on my path.

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We have a little "come to Jesus talk"... Tell her that God don't make no junk..and proceed to take her by the hand and put her in a sound proof room and lock the door. :) Ba Bye...no one is going to rain on this girls parade!

I always use positive self talk and it diminishes the negative within me. Our souls can silence any naysayer. Be it person, place, or thing. We just have to fight what comes from within

im the smartest person i know. im talented and can do anything i know. that tipacly takes care of the doughts and insecurity that hinders my life

While I'm busy and active during the day, my inner critic doesn't usually have time to come out and interrupt my thoughts. But when I'm by myself and something even remotely embarrassing crosses my mind, I have to physically slap myself sometimes to stop it.

I remind myself that everything I've ever "messed up" has only been opportunity for growth, and that no one is as conscious of my actions as I am of myself.

When the inner critic and self-doubter within me shares a thought, my conscious mind shouts back In Denis Leary's voice "Shut the f*** up! Next!" and if any thought is stupid enough to venture forth after that, I do it again. Eventually, the critic decides to just keep quiet. The trick is not letting a single negative thought go through your mind without the loud "STFU!" response. Well, it worked for me....

I don't think one can silence the inner voice, but the idea is to trick it. By that i mean coming up with an incompatible. One time I was given a cat scan. I really don't like them, so I thought about, "talked to myself "about all the women I had in my life in detail". Before I knew it, the cat scan was over and I did not even notice it

i feel the same way except i have 2 voices. one says mean, discriminating, smart but strict things to the other who is nice, positive, kinda dumb, and carefree. they fight a lot, and its annoying, i hate it, i cant think straight, and i have a problem with my emotions because of this, i cant be serious at times either. its like i have a split-mind-personality thing. it never really occurred to me until you said something, thanks for sharing :)

I silence it by acknowledging its opinion as objectively as possible, then making actual adjustments as I see fit.

Negativity serves its purpose in creating growth. How much would you grow if you thought you were already as great as you could be?

Utilize it, but don't let it overwhelm and depress you. It can greatly aid you in recognizing faults if you are cognizant enough to not take it too seriously.

Well, I've not had any type of brain injury but I am a right brained creative junkie and I suffer from the same inner critic. She's been there all my life and I know that "she" is me. If she starts nagging at me I just prove her wrong and do what my heart is wanting me to do. I also tend to talk to myself a lot and I tell my inner critic to shut up sometimes, lol.

I accept where I am at, at the place in time I am at. It never steers me wrong

I pray...read psalm 139 ... And remember always... God don't make no junk and I am right where I should be, and carry on.

Back in the 80's a psychologist named Rick Carson wrote a wonderful little book entitled "Taming Your Gremlin." In it he actually gives a "form" to our inner critic and calls it our gremlin. Everyone has one and his whole idea is to recognize it, give it a name, see it for what it is and learn how NOT to fight with it because in that battle one always loses. It's a great little book. In a sense it's exactly what an artist might find creatively useful: to actually put form to that pesky, obnoxious voice that drives us all crazy.

Such wonderful discussion about this question...and it has also been interesting to hear the perspectives on the painting. Thank you to those that have given your interpretations!!!

As I have read through all of the thoughts, I felt compelled to write some of my own musings...Perhaps all of us have a different "critic" inside of us, depending on who we are, our life experiences, and so on. Many of you have encouraged me to think about this issue from a variety of different perspectives - which I enjoy. I hope it has done the same for all of you to hear such differences of opinion!

I will say this...totally speaking from my own experience...there are different types of critics in my consciousness...While I am not going to categorize anything as "bad," I will say that some of the language that I can use toward myself can be quite self-punishing (and it is language that I would NEVER tolerate from another person, so I won't give it a voice here)...and for those that can relate to this kind of self criticism, years of recovery work have shown me that I choose not to take this voice literally and allow it to drive me to crazy perfectionism (which is what it did when I was a CEO). If anything, this nasty inner critic teaches me to have compassion for myself in the same manner that I would love and encourage others. Then there is the critic that encourages me to be better at what I do - and this is a loving, cheerleading (yet also highly honest) voice that questions, asks the difficult things, and helps me to strive constantly to be the best person that I can be. This latter critic does not say abusive things to myself; rather, it is a voice that inspires humility and the awareness of how much I don't know with a genuine desire to keep learning.

All of that said...for me...the inner critic does not enter my creative space when I am in the midst of producing art. This is a very important differentiation. It would be like having my inner critic get involved in a prayer while it was happening. After the art is produced, I can step back and use the loving critic to assess what I've done...but when I am actually in the process of creating...I must let my hands flow freely. If I allow any form of thinking to take over, especially self criticism, it will shut down the flow of inspiration that is literally pumping from my right brain subconscious to my fingertips. I don't know if anyone else can relate to this - but this is the reality of what painting feels like to me now that I can access this part of my brain post TBI. It's a gift that I was given through this difficulty, and for that I'm grateful...But, it means I have to mindfully keep my critic at bay; otherwise, I will lose myself to old self destructive (yet socially rewarded) patterns of behavior. And this is a whole different discussion so I won't go there :)

And on that note, I will say one last thing...Very few of us truly know one another on this forum enough to be able to dispense specific advice to another person on the deep matters that we are all discussing. That is why I choose to stay focused on my own experience when asking and answering questions and allow anyone out there to take what you like and leave the rest. I've noticed that many other folks have the same approach, and I appreciate it. Otherwise, advice targeted at another person may end up being inappropriate for their situation because you can't possibly know all the details...feelings can get hurt, people can feel misunderstood, and you may get it wrong. Anyhow, just my 2 cents. In the mean time, I will continue taking what I like and leaving the rest also...THANKS!!!

Rainbow Courage,

Awakening within you is a precious gift. I'm certain there have been periods of deep anguish as there are moments of profound joy. Coming to terms, being and sitting within both ends of the 'Inner Critic' continuum is like weaving the fabric of the clothes we wear that others see in our lives. The 'inner critic', shadow, super ego - call it what you will, is a part of you. Trying to deny, expel, push it away or cut it off is the same as denying a part of you. It will push back with some force should you try. May I offer that you consider the following as an introductory practice that when used, allows you to gently come to terms with your "Whole Self"as an exercise in gently wakening to this new awareness and the magnificent intelligence and creativity within you.

Whole Self Exercise

Pick a time when you won't be interrupted. Ensure your warm and comfortable, spine straight, with eyes gently closed and feet flat on the floor. Let your awareness move to your feet and wiggle your toes. This helps to ensure your completely within and experiencing your body. If you're prone to dropping off or checking out, allow the eyes to remain slightly open with your gaze on the floor about six feet in front of you. Allow your mouth to form a slight smile like you would if you know a secret. Touch your tongue lightly to the roof of your mouth behind teeth. This also helps focus awareness within the body and completes the energy circuits with the body, specifically within the head.

It helps to think of your awareness as a trickle of water, a warmth or pleasant sensation that you can identify with. Next, breathe into the bottom of your belly like a baby breathes - 'big round tummy' and then filling up the diaphragm and lungs, pause briefly pursing your lips and allow the breathe to leave your pursed lips taking approximately wife as long as you did to inhale. Everything you've ever experienced in your body is tied to your breath. From before birth to our final moments, we are intimately connected with the breath. Consider that it's also the breath that helps store your response(s), negative and positive, to all your life experiences in your body. It's also your breath that can help bring them back into your awareness so they can be resolved.

Now, progressively move upward through your whole body in this conscious, deliberate way. Your only duty is to observe; don't try to solve or fix anything right now. As you note anything (soreness, throb, tingling, out of the ordinary), don't stop and "go in" after it, just pause acknowledge it and feel it. Mentally saying "I feel you or see you" and "I'll come back to you" is sufficient. Place a hand upon the area you sense or feel as your acknowledgment that it exists within your body. Now mentally say hi to it, softly and with as much compassion as you can. Gently repeat this and notice if something happens within the area you are sensing, feeling and touching...

Do this same process as you move upwards through your entire body, sensing, pausing, noting, feeling, acknowledging, listening, 'be'-ing with, quieting and resting with whatever comes into your awareness. When you've gone through your entire body usually 15 minutes (or whatever time it takes) sit quietly without moving and journal your observations of the experience.

This practice is but a piece of working with the "Inner Critic" puzzle. I invite you to try it for a few days and share what you notice or become aware of either in this post or with me directly at pneuma.transpersonalcoaching@gmail.com. Should you wish to respond, I'd be happy to offer the next steps to helping unravel the knots and tangles of what you're experiencing...

Warm blessings and a very Happy New Year to you and all who read this...

Jim Grant
Certified Integral Coach(TM)

I see a rainbow of hope an expression of true self which is often suppressed by our need to make a living. We need to do what we love and love what we do. Where there's a will there's a way. The critic often is a recording of things we've been taught in life.

First, let me mention "communication". There's the person expressing their thought, or feeling, or belief, or idea or impression, or perception, or sharing their story....and there's the listener - whose impression or perception or beliefs or state of mind is going to influence what they "hear".

Certainly, abstract expressionist art is communication. KaleidoscopeLife saw the ocean. Maybe because I am enamored of the Native American cultures, I see feathers and movement, and think of braves dancing around a fire at night draped in feather capes.

I am not an artist, but when I write I know I hope that I am able to convey my thoughts, or story, or beliefs in a way that speaks to people and doesn't muddy the waters to such a degree that they can't hear what I mean.

I'm assuming the need to make a living factors in here - so maybe you have the need to be commercially successful with your art. Or maybe there is something compelling you want to convey and need to know people "get it." So now let me speak of the critic.

I was surprised at how many people responded, including you, with the need to shush or ignore the critic or trust that "success" would silence it or feel it "isn't you." I know next to nothing about traumatic brain injuries - so I am not presuming to say that your thoughts or emotions or judgment are not altered (temporarily or otherwise) by the injury. I do believe it is a part of you, as you are now. There are those who try to ignore or deny aspects of themselves for one reason or another - but I think closing ourselves off ensures we remain captive to the ghosts in our past.

I love and honor my critic. I don't always agree, or alter what I am doing or how I do it because of my critic, but I value the input. It never hurts to listen. Most often I find that what my critic is saying is an expression (at its core) of a fear I have, or a step I am taking away from my true self, or a piece of old baggage from a painful experience, or something I have been told is true as part of my upbringing, or simply believed to be so because it is the norm in society - and it is time to examine or re-examine it. That's a good thing!

My critic is also the one who always rolls her eyes at my syntax - and compels me to constantly check the dictionary and proof my typing. Obviously, I ignore her part of the time.

I wish you the best in the new year.

When I saw this painting it made me think of the beach. That may seem weird, but let me explain.
Starting at the top of your painting I see the sky. If I follow it down I feel like my eyes are following water that is next to a big rock cliff on the right side. But where the big white smear is I imaging that I'm looking at this thought a camera lense and it's the time of day where the sun is setting but leaving a bright white glare onto things, so all the smears are light reflections. I don't know why but every time I look at it and try to see something different, I can't. To me, this is an ocean sunset view. I like it a lot actually! It could lead all kinds of people to make different interpretations about it, which is nice because everyone who looks at it gets something different out of it!
I know this really didn't answer your question about the critic in your mind, but I just wanted to let you know that your painting sparked my imagination. Keep up the good work ;)

Success will silence it.

I don't silence it. A true artist SHOULD always have battles on their work, that is what makes their work relevant and beautiful. It is those battles we win, or lose that captures the art we produced in that moment. And, its not just our work, but all aspects in our lives.

You can't possibly silence your inner critic, because it isn't you. Just like you have no way of controlling what other people say about you, you also have no way of controlling what your inner critic says about you.

So you have no way of silencing it, but that turns out to not be a problem. You eventually learn that because it doesn't come from you, you don't need to listen to it so hard, and also that you don't need to try to disprove it or suppress it. It needs neither of those things.

RainbowCourage

How do you silence your inner critic?

kathleenmwarner

We have a little "come to Jesus talk"... Tell her that God don't make no junk..and proceed to take her by the hand and put her in a sound proof room and lock the door. :) Ba Bye...no one is going to rain on this girls parade!

PaleCowboy

I always use positive self talk and it diminishes the negative within me. Our souls can silence any naysayer. Be it person, place, or thing. We just have to fight what comes from within

chenoa

im the smartest person i know. im talented and can do anything i know. that tipacly takes care of the doughts and insecurity that hinders my life

SKGator

burnabymike

dogman1313

angrycloud

riwillbe

ImShibbTastic

fineassmaerock

I accept where I am at, at the place in time I am at. It never steers me wrong

kathleenmwarner

I pray...read psalm 139 ... And remember always... God don't make no junk and I am right where I should be, and carry on.

MrFreeze

RainbowCourage

PneumaTranspersonal

Vally

I see a rainbow of hope an expression of true self which is often suppressed by our need to make a living. We need to do what we love and love what we do. Where there's a will there's a way. The critic often is a recording of things we've been taught in life.

Lea4M

KaleidoscopeLife

dave202

Success will silence it.

DreamingOutLoud

I don't silence it. A true artist SHOULD always have battles on their work, that is what makes their work relevant and beautiful. It is those battles we win, or lose that captures the art we produced in that moment. And, its not just our work, but all aspects in our lives.

lelandbug

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How do you silence your inner critic?

We have a little "come to Jesus talk"... Tell her that God don't make no junk..and proceed to take her by the hand and put her in a sound proof room and lock the door. :) Ba Bye...no one is going to rain on this girls parade!

I always use positive self talk and it diminishes the negative within me. Our souls can silence any naysayer. Be it person, place, or thing. We just have to fight what comes from within

im the smartest person i know. im talented and can do anything i know. that tipacly takes care of the doughts and insecurity that hinders my life

I accept where I am at, at the place in time I am at. It never steers me wrong

I pray...read psalm 139 ... And remember always... God don't make no junk and I am right where I should be, and carry on.

I see a rainbow of hope an expression of true self which is often suppressed by our need to make a living. We need to do what we love and love what we do. Where there's a will there's a way. The critic often is a recording of things we've been taught in life.

Success will silence it.

I don't silence it. A true artist SHOULD always have battles on their work, that is what makes their work relevant and beautiful. It is those battles we win, or lose that captures the art we produced in that moment. And, its not just our work, but all aspects in our lives.

SoulPancake

hand–crafted in Atwater Village

About SoulPancake

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