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Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Its very exciting when one meets the partner after a long spell. Distance is no criteria......love is eternal....
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I fell in love with my fiance, who is in the air force, through letters. We had been merely acquaintances when he lived here in our hometown. Granted, seeing one another once every couple of months is crucial to the survival of our love and 'relationship'. Without the light at the end of the tunnel that is June 16, I am not so sure I'd be able to stand the pervasive challenge that long distance creates and perpetuates.
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I fell in love with my fiance, who is in the air force, through letters. We had been merely acquaintances when he lived here in our hometown. Granted, seeing one another once every couple of months is crucial to the survival of our love and 'relationship'. Without the light at the end of the tunnel that is June 16, I am not so sure I'd be able to stand the pervasive challenge that long distance creates and perpetuates.
Individual differences certainly matter in these cases; I am a person who thrives on intimacy, and there is ostensible difference between being in his arms and Skyping. It is beyond challenging, and some days I cannot bare the fact that I cannot have a hug from the person I love more than anything. It has taught me independence, but my desire is to be close to him at the end of each day. Do not undermine your feelings, reducing them to miles apart. It involves a great deal of listening to yourself.
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like what are /you/ "risking a lot"?
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like what are /you/ "risking a lot"?
here's the thing, people have long-distance relationships all the time. especially in the military. but at some point, somewhere along the way, they have met physically or they would not have been able to establish a "realtionship". otherwise, they are "pen pals".
so I guess you have to decide what your definition of "relationship" is.
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I've had 3 long distance relationships. The first two were with wonderful military men. I don't regret a moment of them. The last was with someone not so honest, I regret that one. Long distance works for me because I am independent. I would rather have my love with me all the time but I don't need him with me all the time. I kill my own spiders, I handle my own drama, I do my own remodeling. Not all women are like that. If you are, then you will be fine. Tell the nay sayers to leave you be, you know what works for your heart.
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I know a few people who have dated long distance. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. You've really got to have commitment. I don't think they're for me specifically but if you really love them, you'll make it work.
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It's hard, but if that is the only person for you (and vice versa) it's worth it. At least to my limited experience so far.
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If you both draw strength from the relationship (and I would presume you both do), and you both can sustain it, then I think it's a beautiful thing. Especially if both practice faithfulness to the other even though they are not around and many other "opportunites" are.
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If you both draw strength from the relationship (and I would presume you both do), and you both can sustain it, then I think it's a beautiful thing. Especially if both practice faithfulness to the other even though they are not around and many other "opportunites" are.
So long as you both (but you especially) acknowledge and accept the risk, go for it.
And while there's nothing wrong with asking others what they think, be on guard against the trap of "needing" others to confirm for you that it's OK to be engaged in.
The one who will be affected by the relationship's success or failure will not be those who have said it's "OK" . . . but you. So weigh the risks and if you find them acceptable, go for broke.
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"never here" - is a non relationship.
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"never here" - is a non relationship.
here on R&R every 6 months is a long distance relationship...
and I have had two - they failed, partly due to the distance and partly to do with cultural differences.
The culture of the armed forces is one that makes someone the opposite of attractive to me so that would prevent what I am presuming you are calling a risk...?
(That of your guy either being killed or maimed - or possibly becoming a killer and maimer...)
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I have had a marriage when I was young with my husband being in the Army. It is a long wait between the visits he gets with you. All the while he is away, you worry about him. It won't be forever. It is just for a few years that you will be separated from him. If you hold on and keep the relationship going, he will come back to you. He will get out of the service and you can build a life together. Just hang in there! It will get better.
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