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Honestly, If i see someone who looks troubled, angry, sad, I ask if things are all right. If they want to tell me to bug off or mind my own business, I will let them. For all we know, that person could really need someone.
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Hmmm. My wife's cousin (who lives 700+ miles away) is suicidal in the way that she cries for help and attention but when she gets it she can only turn away and say "I'm fine". She's 28 years old, married to a successful lawyer and has 8 step children whom she loves very much. I tell my wife "she's an adult, she has the right to live her life and make her own decisions" but I'm told that I am being insensitive.
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Hmmm. My wife's cousin (who lives 700+ miles away) is suicidal in the way that she cries for help and attention but when she gets it she can only turn away and say "I'm fine". She's 28 years old, married to a successful lawyer and has 8 step children whom she loves very much. I tell my wife "she's an adult, she has the right to live her life and make her own decisions" but I'm told that I am being insensitive.
So, yeah, there is a fine line. You can only help so much before you're tying someone to a bed against their own wishes.
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When someone is being or in danger of being really harmed, and there's something you can do about it.
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I'd say any clear assailant/victim scenario warrants interference, but frankly anything can be reason enough. It's not like one has to be confrontational. Sometimes a simple comment is all it takes to check someone, but like Tony Roma said in Glengarry Glen Ross, "you never open your mouth until you know what the shot is."
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God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change
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God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change
The COURAGE to change the things I can
And the WISDOM to know the difference.
that's how I measure it. it's the best I can do ;-)
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I think one needs to accurately measure their "authority" to do so.
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I think one needs to accurately measure their "authority" to do so.
As in, haranguing a random person on the street about the dangers of smoking vs. doing it with someone who is a friend and you care about. Different levels of friendship/relationship come with different levels of "authority" and "accountability". I have a few friends where we've agreed to share a very high level of accountability -- as in, if we see them doing something we fear might lead to harm or folly we share it even if it might sting or perhaps even threaten the relationship. (BTW, such has created some rough spots, even some times apart . . . but has never destroyed the friendship)
The "line" one should back away from is at the point where you've made your concerns known, perhaps pressed and annoyed them a bit for change, but it's clear they want to carry on with that course. That is where respect for their choices kicks in. All of these are a function of genuine love for them -- the "perfect" mix if you will of concern (willingness to speak and act) and respect (recognizing when their course is set and persisting will only invite them to walk away from your company).
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When one can't help themselves for their own good, and are in trouble. Once you smell that "the clues" You pretty much need to get involved.
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Sometimes people mind their own business too much or maybe they're right.
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Sometimes people mind their own business too much or maybe they're right.
I was walking to work on a nice day and saw a couple of people step around a man down on the sidewalk. He looked fine and seemed to be sleeping. This was before cell phones, but looking for a phone, I saw a cop car and told them. Was I right or wrong?
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Almost everything said below. As nurses, we were obligated by law to report even suspicion of abuse, etc. and we did. It was rough though, being an abused wife myself during this time, to report abuse when the woman is BEGGING you not to. Rough...
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When someone else is in danger and you know you can stop the danger or help them.
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Addiction. And everything @Canada4Life said.
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