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I think that birth order has some influence on behavior, but we are also shaped by our environment and our predisposed tendencies. I'm the last of 5 children and while some of the last born traits apply to me, I also possess traits associated with first and middle children. It would be nice if everything was nicely explained by an authoritarian, but I don't believe that it is the case with birth order.
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not to totally pour out my story, but I'm in the situation where my older sister is my half sister. because of this I am my dad's oldest, and my mom's middle child. to some degree I am a perfectionist, but more often than not, I display the expected behaviors of a middle child, while my brother is 100% the baby boy. My sister, the oldest and only in her own world, is spoiled.... confused, lonely, and spoiled. I think more often than not, before judging, one must look at the parents and their behavior patterns with their children due to their birth order.
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I have a twin sister, a younger sister and younger brother...our younger brother and sisters have us to help them like out parents me and athena, my twin, but with me and athena, two minds are definitely better than one.
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While I am the oldest in my family..I have a sister who is 2 yrs younger than me. I have to say that I am a perfectionist and I like things done my way. I am more controlling and assertive that my sister and have often been assertive for her. I got better grades, I worked through school. On the other hand, my sister got a lot of help from me and my parents..when she went to college she didn't have to get a job to support herself..my parents paid. The only part that I don't really agree with is that I am not that much in pleasing other people...when I was growing up, I was the exact opposite of that and my sister was the people pleaser. One of the things that I remember the most about my childhood was that my parents always asked me to tell my sister what to do because she wouldn't listen to them.
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I am an adopted child. I am the oldest; my also adopted sister is 5 yrs younger. I do agree w/ the stereotype (to a degree). I would rather walk on my lips than disappoint my parents--not because they would be mad, but rather that I want them to be proud of me. It's funny, because they ARE proud of me & they always have been. I never felt like I had anything to prove (quite the opposite, actually). Please understand that what I'm about to say is "kid logic", these thoughts were formed when I was probably 4 or 5. I don't remember being told I was adopted. My parents told me this from the beginning. I do, however, remember feeling very superior to my peers. This was never my parents intention, I suppose they didn't really know how to explain adoption to the first kid they'd ever had. They told me that,"Some people give birth to a baby & that's the one they have to take home. You were the one we wanted-- we picked you out of all the other babies". I grew up feeling like a Christmas present. That said, I definitely fall into the overachiever catagory. When my birth family found me, I found out that I was still the oldest child on my birth fathers side-- but I was the middle child from my birth mother. Since I didn't grow up in that dynamic, I still feel a leadership role (although, my older sister feels more like an aunt -- I don't feel like she's the boss of me). The first child is subject to all of the dreams, expectations, & fears of new parents. This child is also a bit of an experiment-- a sounding board for new parental tactics, rules, and beliefs. Parents MAY ease up on the next kids or focus on different things, I don't know... I have one 8 yr. old girl. I will never give birth to another child (by choice). I now deal w/ a MUCH different dynamic... My daughter is an only child & so is my boyfriend. This is a subject for a new discussion!!! What to do when the "only child" feels that he/she is the center of everyone's universe?
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the stereotypes set by adler oddly seem to often fit families somewhat well. But just as easily, if the eldest doesn't fit the people-pleasing, over-achieving blah blah blah, the younger child or middle might feel the need to fill that void and their personality trait would be warped. That's pretty much a snapshot of my family. The elder child didn't graduate high school due to drug problems so I have stepped up and am living life as a full fledged, responsible (if i can say so myself) adult. I got the grades, I became the perfectionist.
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I believe it can; our experiences in life are what shape what kind of people we become, and birth order can have a huge impact in that regard. Whether we would like to believe it or not, most families treat each child differently than the last. Those differences good and bad can mold a child's personality into something very different, depending on which birth order they are. I know it certainly had a massive effect on me.
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I think so...I'm the youngest by 10 years. There are many ways I feel like a bit of a baby. I tend to have a lot of "all about me" moments. I don't know if that has to do with birth order, but it is an easy thing to blame :)
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There are many personality clues that I see proven time and time again but I have no idea scientifically why they work. I call them personality clues because they are never definite but usually, yeah I can usually guess someone's birth order once I get to know them. Especially in situations where you work or live closely with another person, like I see roommate scenarios all the time play out according to people's birth order. Names are also like this though there is no logical explanation I can give anyone for why people with the same names have similar personality traits.
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hmmm, just reading that introduction I can visualize my family situation perfectly. I'm the eldest,17, then my borther 15, then my twin sisters, 11... I'm already gone from home to a different province, my brother has ADD and had to be brought to hospital many times and always makes a fuss about everything, saying the girls are ganging up on him and my little sisters don't really obey and become very needy.¸ I guess it's not the fact of beign born first or last, but what you are surrounded by. It's your environment, other sibling's birth order. The middle child is lik that because of the influence of the older sibling and youngest... etc. BUT, it is never our personality entirely. Don't let age or family place define you. We can choose wether to be influenced by our environment's forces or not. and also, it never affects our spiritual receptivity that's for certain.
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i am the first born and the last born. an only child's life is sweet & sour. oh sure, you get all the toys, but who will you play them with? yes! you are the favorite. if you do something bad there's no one to else to place the blame on even with all the attention it can be a lonely existence
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Yes. I am a middle-child (3rd of 5), born on Christmas day, and I usually expect to be overlooked. It puzzles me that some people feel important and seem to exude an aura of high status. Where I live, status is poorly understood, in family relationships. I understand that people in the Philippines have a fine sense of status and station in life. The oldest child is honored with greater responsibilities and the younger ones, happily, respect him or her.
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My family almost seemed set up for this--three children. I am certain that much of my personality is due to my birth order--I'd go so far to say that most everyone's is, but I don't think that we can say that the oldest will be a certain way, or the middle, or the youngest. I'm the middle child in my family, and we are all still young. My older brother (20) is a musician, very creative but not a perfectionist, likes to go against the grain and has a wonderful heart. My younger sister (12) is very social, loves to be with friends, hates anything sad and really doesn't enjoy anything particularly philosophical--that can probably be hashed up to the fact that she is, well, twelve. As for myself (17), I'm an artist, very creative and quite the perfectionist, not nearly as social as my siblings, and it would seem I'm the only person in my family capable of hate (not proud of it). I stopped acting like a teenager at age 14, while my older brother is 20 and still acts like a teen. My brother and I always got along, and I love him very much. My sister is difficult because she is so different from me, and we don't understand one another. I guess what I mean is, we were shaped by our birth order, but not into stereotypes. My sister is youngest, but acts much like she is the oldest. My brother is oldest, but acts like he's the youngest. Or maybe it's just our personalities. I'm the middle child, but I will always act like an only child.
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My family only has two children and I would agree that my older brother is thought to be the perfect child, while I am on the independent search for happiness. I think sometimes the second child just isn't as exciting for the family, or there is a false expectation that the child should act the same as the previous. I think with misconceptions such as that I felt trapped and automatically wanted to make sure they didn't confine me and force me to be like my brother.
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Im an ONLY, and Im all that matters. Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. Did I mention ME?
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I feel like after the mother has a child, that any after the first is treated almost mentally like "been there done that". The same anxieties and fears and stress isn't as prominent as in the first. I feel like those type of feelings and emotions produce chemicals that don't affect the rest of the brood. I here and now profess that I am no doctor, nor am I claiming to be. That's just my simpleton opinion.
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I think birth order does effect us all, but not necessarily in the same way. I am the youngest of 5 and was probably raised by my siblings as much or more than by my parents. How could that not effect me? Life experiences shape who we are, but stereotypes about how a ranking effects you is BS as much as any other stereotype.
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