SoulPancake / Conversations / Why do people avert eye contact when passing right next to each other?

darth_bear

- 2 years ago

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Why do people avert eye contact when passing right next to each other?

I've certainly been here. Its become my little social experiment to play chicken with your gaze and another's as you cross paths on the sidewalk. Not in a creepy way mind you, nor looking at them in the eyes, but acting as though there was no one there. Especially on a college campus I witness the good ol' look at cell phone/iPod trick, the industry standard of staring at the ground trick and the ever popular pretending something caught your attention. In retrospect, maybe they're all really doing these things.

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This is very interesting. The animal costoms require a Canadian Goose to make bowing motions to the head goose. Folk lore advises you not to make eye contact with a bear. The custom of bowing to superior rank in the human world may have originated in the animal world. There are some people whose eyes glow when preparing for combat. Most of you are aware of the "bedroom look". Its possible that (although the soul does not enter the body according to Baha'u'llah) your soul and heart are reflected through the eyes. Professionals say they can spot criminal natures in your face and tell when you are lying. This is why I have a half of a ping-pong ball on each eye.

In small towns, people actually talk (mostly meaningless drivel, like "How're ya doing?" "How's your mama?", but in a big city (like your picture of New York City) you put your folded up copy of the Post under your arm and walk quickly and directly to where you're going. Eye contact is avoided because, people are running short on time and there are quite frankly a lot of crazy people running loose and a lot of people want your money. Not being from New York, I was aware of their reputation for being unfriendly, however once I was working with people inside an office or asking directions from a subway token seller or NYPD, they are as gracious and friendly as any place else. Proximity does not always equal friendship.

We were talking about this is one of my classes and if you'll notice, the division between black and whites is obviously clear by this simple test. Whites consider it rude to look at another person for so long before breaking contact and blacks view it as the opposite.

*this is a generalization of course

People are always handing out sh*t to me when I'm on the subway, getting off the subway, or walking around. I naturally keep eye contact to a minimum, unless it's a hot girl.

Plus, eye contact seems very.... I don't know. I'm going about my day, you're going about your day, if our eyes meet, okay. If our eyes don't meet, I'm not affected.

I'm really glad this question struck up some good debate. I feel like I started an episode of Seinfeld.

One of my pet peeves happens to be coworkers ignoring coworkers as they pass each other. Sometimes I'll be walking by, and they direct their sight in one direction, as if trying to avoid saying 'hello'.

Worse, if I say 'hello', and do not receive a response. Such a case is not a major interaction; just be courteous.

nerves, insecurity those types of feelings

because busy in spite of fear would just be fear. another situation already mentioned

I think it may be safe to say that most, or a large number of situations, come from avoidance and fear, and some, but not many, come from other deeper motives as mentioned before? Not a sort of compromise, just what actually is.

I mean I know when I can sense or even see a glimpse of someone that is annoying, I will avoid them not in spite of fear, although it may be avoidance. But im not convinced in situations where I can have the first look, kind of what "SaveAmerica" was alluding to, that that situation automatically means im fearful? It just means I have other motives, again what SaveAmerica said. That those motives could be because im busy, in a hurry, not interested, avoiding altogther, I mean so many examples. And im sure if we apply the culture thing, that some of those deep motives result in that situation. It almost seems obvious

*disinterest

But im not sure because Im still convinced that if you glare at someone, without them notices, and get a look at them and do as you want, and they never see you take that glance, it would be as though you avoided them, as though you had fear right? I agree, but that wasnt the case. Its kind of more of a deep example, but I guess it wouldnt matter because its only one case.

I didnt read far enough below to see that stipulation, so that is why I thought it was a clear generalization. But that is fine

Then yes, with no other possible distraction, and absense of any other person, I could agree that in that instance it would be direct and utter avoidance. you are correct there. I just cannot agree with every case being that way.

I know lotsa women don't look at faces cos their too busy looking at the shoes

What I want to understand is why some see avoiding other peoples eyes as a weakness? could it not be agrued that one doesnt let their guard down by NOT looking/ creating eye contact?

Now that I live in a tiny hamlet....I saw "hey" to everybody....I look at everybody & smile

I avoid eye contact because I don't want people to start talking to me. There's usually already a conversation going on in my head.

Involvement, one might have to get involved if eye contact is made.

In my experience, I can understand the awkward aspect of making eye contact for more than a second but to experience day in and day out the same college students with headphones in, eyes downward, gets really annoying. Even more so when your own friends do it and you can't get their attention when you see them between classes. Its annoying as hell.

darth_bear

Why do people avert eye contact when passing right next to each other?

Hali

PopeSkippyXVI

insincerelyme

drumgod63

darth_bear

I'm really glad this question struck up some good debate. I feel like I started an episode of Seinfeld.

GeorgTMh

CassMoneyFresh

nerves, insecurity those types of feelings

Smirnov

because busy in spite of fear would just be fear. another situation already mentioned

Smirnov

I think it may be safe to say that most, or a large number of situations, come from avoidance and fear, and some, but not many, come from other deeper motives as mentioned before? Not a sort of compromise, just what actually is.

Smirnov

SaveAmerica

*disinterest

Smirnov

Smirnov

I didnt read far enough below to see that stipulation, so that is why I thought it was a clear generalization. But that is fine

Smirnov

Then yes, with no other possible distraction, and absense of any other person, I could agree that in that instance it would be direct and utter avoidance. you are correct there. I just cannot agree with every case being that way.

mell

I know lotsa women don't look at faces cos their too busy looking at the shoes

Smirnov

What I want to understand is why some see avoiding other peoples eyes as a weakness? could it not be agrued that one doesnt let their guard down by NOT looking/ creating eye contact?

mell

Now that I live in a tiny hamlet....I saw "hey" to everybody....I look at everybody & smile

JR2point0

I avoid eye contact because I don't want people to start talking to me. There's usually already a conversation going on in my head.

RosieFullyRiveted

Involvement, one might have to get involved if eye contact is made.

darth_bear

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Why do people avert eye contact when passing right next to each other?

I'm really glad this question struck up some good debate. I feel like I started an episode of Seinfeld.

nerves, insecurity those types of feelings

because busy in spite of fear would just be fear. another situation already mentioned

I think it may be safe to say that most, or a large number of situations, come from avoidance and fear, and some, but not many, come from other deeper motives as mentioned before? Not a sort of compromise, just what actually is.

*disinterest

I didnt read far enough below to see that stipulation, so that is why I thought it was a clear generalization. But that is fine

Then yes, with no other possible distraction, and absense of any other person, I could agree that in that instance it would be direct and utter avoidance. you are correct there. I just cannot agree with every case being that way.

I know lotsa women don't look at faces cos their too busy looking at the shoes

What I want to understand is why some see avoiding other peoples eyes as a weakness? could it not be agrued that one doesnt let their guard down by NOT looking/ creating eye contact?

Now that I live in a tiny hamlet....I saw "hey" to everybody....I look at everybody & smile

I avoid eye contact because I don't want people to start talking to me. There's usually already a conversation going on in my head.

Involvement, one might have to get involved if eye contact is made.

SoulPancake

hand–crafted in Atwater Village

About SoulPancake

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