reply
- Feature
- Like
Both. I gravitate naturally towards people that I get along with well. Then, in the friendship as a relationship I have to try. Some things you have to try to do... like forgiving, compromising, being thoughtful when you're thinking about yourself a lot.
reply
- Feature
- Like
with most people, I experience a bit of a process....with some people (rarely) it's an instant connection. But I let people in at different levels, depending on my trust level.
reply
- Feature
- Like
For me, friendships are really hard and I have to work at them. I don't let people get close to me and I let relationships go to the wayside too easily. I can think of only 1 friendship that I still have that I have actively maintained for years and years. It probably doesn't help that I'm difficult to get to know and evern harder to like.
reply
- Feature
- Like
Generally they come very naturally. I've never had to work at getting friends. People tell me I give off this likeable aura.
reply
- Feature
- Like
Both. You can't force a connection with someone if the two of you just aren't compatible, but at the same time friendship doesn't magically grow just because two people get along and go to school together. Friends seek out each other's company. They reach out to each other. They make time for each other. But no matter how hard you try to befriend someone, it's just not going to happen unless they are the right person.
reply
I think you may be fortunate to have one come so naturally, and to last so long. Most relationships require work, effort, nurturing, sacrifice, tolerance, endurance.
- Feature
- Like
I think you may be fortunate to have one come so naturally, and to last so long. Most relationships require work, effort, nurturing, sacrifice, tolerance, endurance.
I've heard relationship (including friendship) to be like a campfire two people are sitting at. Both have a supply of firewood behind them they can choose to toss on the fire -- and then the warmth of the fire heats them both.
If neither sacrifice any of their wood to the fire, it will go out.
If only one feeds the fire sooner or later they will run out of wood, the fire will die, and they will likely grow to resent that the other let it die and walked off with an ample supply of fuel to put on some other fire.
reply
- Feature
- Like
I think they come naturally, but they require maintenance like a building, or they'll fall apart.
reply
Friendship is not some mystical concept, it is a social contract. For any friendship to work, both parties need to set mutually beneficial terms and to uphold those terms. Sometimes this requires sacrifice on the part of one party or the other; that's generally where what you call 'trying' comes in.
- Feature
- Like
