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One evening my best friend and I were having a conversation and it got really cold. I got a blanket and we shared it, both very tired so we lay on the carpet with the blanket over us. He had an arm loosely around me and it really felt like more than friendship.
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One evening my best friend and I were having a conversation and it got really cold. I got a blanket and we shared it, both very tired so we lay on the carpet with the blanket over us. He had an arm loosely around me and it really felt like more than friendship.
There were people nearby and at the event we were at it would have been frowned upon to be found asleep together the next morning, so after a while I got up and said that we couldn't stay because of that.
He said he understood, but again offered me a space next to him.
I regret not taking that space now. Anything could of happened, and now I'm just confused.
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I regret that I had nobody there to help me free myself from slavery to my borderline mother. I regret that I had such selfsih and self-serving parents. But as for myself- I regret that I was¨so brainwashed that I was unable to do it, myself, until much later. My mother threatened me with suicide if I left her, my father brainwashed me to believe I was incapable of living without him and that it was my responsibility to take care of my mother since I was 8. (Please note: this while he divorced her and took off to lead his own life with me as the sacrifcial lamb to appease my mother and deal with her insanity.) So I had a double whammy. I guess- the most important decision I missed was when I was studying in America and very happy there, and I sacrificed my own happiness (once again) to go home and study in Germany where my mother lived. I missed my chance to say no. Years later- I did call my mother`s bluff and left her city. Statistically, people with BPD are more prone to suicide. She didnt kill herself. She is now 83 and living like an enraged hermit in Germany while I left the country.
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I regret that I had nobody there to help me free myself from slavery to my borderline mother. I regret that I had such selfsih and self-serving parents. But as for myself- I regret that I was¨so brainwashed that I was unable to do it, myself, until much later. My mother threatened me with suicide if I left her, my father brainwashed me to believe I was incapable of living without him and that it was my responsibility to take care of my mother since I was 8. (Please note: this while he divorced her and took off to lead his own life with me as the sacrifcial lamb to appease my mother and deal with her insanity.) So I had a double whammy. I guess- the most important decision I missed was when I was studying in America and very happy there, and I sacrificed my own happiness (once again) to go home and study in Germany where my mother lived. I missed my chance to say no. Years later- I did call my mother`s bluff and left her city. Statistically, people with BPD are more prone to suicide. She didnt kill herself. She is now 83 and living like an enraged hermit in Germany while I left the country.
So I agree with eclipsia: "That I did not wake up sooner".
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that i did not wake up sooner..
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that i did not wake up sooner..
by the sound of you post you just woke up..
you did something i could not do at your age..
be happy that you are waking up now and not later ..
so the next relationship you choose to be in you will be more aware of how you run your life
..
advise from an old lady..
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I regret nothing. There is no point in brooding over things that you can't go back and change. I try to look at every mistake as a lesson for the future, as hard as that may be sometimes.
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I regret nothing. There is no point in brooding over things that you can't go back and change. I try to look at every mistake as a lesson for the future, as hard as that may be sometimes.
I find this helps me whenever I start to feel those thoughts creeping into my mind.
"O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being. O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety, nor will I let trouble harass me. I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life. O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord." -’Abdul-Bahá
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:( i think my regret is just like yours... except we just broke up about a month ago. idk what it is ab out this guy... but i can't stop thinking about him.. im sorry to hear about your break up, i know how you feel.
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