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I apologize if you believe I judged you. If you think that you "KNOW" things be careful.
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I apologize if you believe I judged you. If you think that you "KNOW" things be careful.
A Kabbalist will tell you, "I Know Nothing."
Everything is moving and changing so how to "know something?"
We can "Know Ourselves."
We are all hurt and until we deal with that we will succumb to anger and fear surrounding those emotions and attachments.
If you choose to believe that we do not have, 'A Will to Good' based on your life that is fine.
I will tell you as someone who was a manically depressed being that if you don't dig deep and
find out what makes you yourself, you are going to just live the same pattern over and over again till you get it.
I want to give people Hope because I feel responsible to shine Light, NOW!
Anyone can bury their head and make judgments but what do you think that changes?
You say you are aware. What, of all the mean and nasty stuff? Of heartbreak and disillusionment and
just giving up? The truth is you are Light and surrounded by it. The world doesn't create monsters.
We do. With our fixation on negative things because to go within is just too painful.
Everything we think becomes someone elses reality and ours. We are that powerful!
I hope that you understand that I have the highest intentions. Am I wrong sometimes? Yeah. I am here just as you are here to learn.
Do I think there actually is right and wrong? Well, if someone learns something then even wrong things
can be interpreted as good. No learning and a repetition of actions? Well then that person is consciously doing something and knowing it is wrong. But Karma and God will decide their fate. Or if they submit to accepting that they need to change and do, they have a whole new life looking at them. They have to however make that choice.
You have taught me for instance, that what I say may not be interpreted the way I perceive it is.
It feels like you are just down on a lot and yourself and that is something I can more than empathize with.
You see, that is why we do 'suffer' sometimes. So that we can feel empathy for another. If for instance I didn't have the chemical imbalance that I was born with and certain parents etc etc then I would not be sharing Love and Light with anyone because I wouldn't have it to give. But because I did feel separate from the world, isolated even in a huge room or club filled with happy people,
That became my Blessing, I changed. I woke up and realized that I create my life and I decide how it will be. No one else. ME.
It is interesting that you feel I have judged you. That comes from you not me.
Your perception. I spoke about things like Universal Truths and the idea that we are all responsible including me.
If I had merely said "YOU are this and that," Just you, and did not include humans, myself and our
power and abilities both for the good and the ill of this planet then I could see how you might take this as a hit against you. I just am encouraging you to not look at the planet as a big suck hole of devastation.
We are all beautiful at the core.
I send you Love and Light and Blessings that you have whatever you need in this life and that you find within real Joy and Compassion for yourself and by extension others.
I hope that you find Peace and all that resonates for you.
I have tried to give help and hope. If you choose of your own Free-Will to ignore what I say so be it.
I do Love you and that is a fact. I Love everyone.
Liking them? Well, I am after all human. But I do try.
Other than that, I am still on a path of progression to 'KNOW MYSELF.'
We all are. I have just chosen an accelerated path.
But, just because it is faster does not mean that I don't have the same challenges that others do. I just can deal with things easier. I am to use your word, 'More Aware.'
And one more thing. You say you are just explaining what you see.
If you see nothing but darkness what do you think your life will be like? Strive to see the good in life, in u + everywhere. Like attracts like.We are Light!!! Namaste.
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I don't think anyone can really "have it all". You can be under that guise, but is it truly ever possible?
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If you lose the ability to empathize, you lose the ability to "have it all". Not being able to feel others pain, you lose the ability to appreciate what you truly have.
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Empathy is something everyone at some time must have. We are here set to learn and there is a reason we sometimes have crappy experiences.The reason is simply we created the mess we find ourselves ensconced in. The beauty of being here is knowing that somewhere there is a Light burning and we are never alone. Regardless if we think so or not. Empathy?
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Empathy is something everyone at some time must have. We are here set to learn and there is a reason we sometimes have crappy experiences.The reason is simply we created the mess we find ourselves ensconced in. The beauty of being here is knowing that somewhere there is a Light burning and we are never alone. Regardless if we think so or not. Empathy?
When you think about it it is subjective isn't it? Really about relativity? I mean if I die with something and have had nothing my whole life conceivably I could die ecstatic.
Conversely, what if I always had 'everything' I could ever have wanted here. What would be my reward for making this experience the be all and end all? We are infinite. This is just a small blip relative to eternity.
There will always be someone we and just we can empathize with. That one special person that needs to know in their core that you do empathize. Really understand their pain. Their disorientation. Their lack of Faith and Hope. Their discontent. You know, it is better to have grown to know oneself before leaving this mortal coil. Why? Sounds Selfish. Because the more you have ascended toward Source, the closer the rest of us that inhabit this planet with you ascend. We are ONE. We are infinite. And as such we are as connected to all as one could imagine. And if we are One truly no separation between us and we are in the image of The One then we must therefore be gods. But, we are gods in ascension. We are remembering our own Divinity. God gave us Free-Will. What a cool way to experience this journey.
Another thing about empathy we strive to be in our hearts, and if in our hearts we are connected to Truth.
The mind is just there to house everything we don't want to deal with. And throw it into our path effectively strewing garbage and nonsense to keep us occupied and in stasis instead of progressing!
The mind of Buddha, The heart of Christ is a being in balance within themselves and the Universe.
When the mind is a still pond, unaware of all that is around it, and calm. When the heart is a blaze
with compassion and passion that is when you are locked into God and his station. You are exactly what you should be no matter if you believe that or not. Remember, we are mirrors unto one another.
In this way we serve each other. When you don't like someone, look inside fellow god. It is the start
of acceptance of the things that no longer serve your needs on this planet! And that is quite the Blessing Doncha Think!? That is the beginning of Healing the wounds and becoming wise inside. In Love and Light!
Bill Sonic Modern Mystery School Teacher and Guide
Ever honored and humbled.
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to quote a famous president, "yes we can".
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to quote a famous president, "yes we can".
I'm a man, but I'm all for women's rights (*). I'm "white" (**) but I support the black people's right to quality education, work etc. and I'm hetero, but I care about what happens to LGBT - especially civil union and the partner's rights. I'm not disabled, yet I worry about sidewalks without lanes, elevators without signs in braille etc.
so, yes, basically not being in someone's shoes doesn't keep you from walking a mile side by side with them. that's empathy, and it's a powerful evolutionary tool which helps us get together and thrive.
________________
(*) both rights AND responsibilities. being a woman, a black person, disabled, gay or whatever doesn't mean you don't have to stand for yourself.
(**) I live in Brazil, where basically there is no "white" nor "black". everybody's mixed up ;D
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Of course you can. You had the same experience, so you DO you what she means. And obviously your singleness ended after feeling that way at one point, so hers probably will too. Everyone who's single for long enough starts to think that maybe they will always be single. We're just impatient creatures. With high standards. There's nothing wrong with that. You just can't give up hope that someone IS out there.
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Of course you can. You had the same experience, so you DO you what she means. And obviously your singleness ended after feeling that way at one point, so hers probably will too. Everyone who's single for long enough starts to think that maybe they will always be single. We're just impatient creatures. With high standards. There's nothing wrong with that. You just can't give up hope that someone IS out there.
You have every right to know what she means. Maybe she's jealous that you found someone after being single so long and she didn't. But I see this as an opportunity to prove to her that there is still hope.
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Some people can, some can't. Your friend is down, she confesses to you how she feels, you sympathize. It's what friends do. But, apparently, that's not what she wanted from you.
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Some people can, some can't. Your friend is down, she confesses to you how she feels, you sympathize. It's what friends do. But, apparently, that's not what she wanted from you.
I have a tough time with these situations, because I'm the type of person who is less of a sympathizer and more of a problem solver. When I have issues, and I announce them to someone I trust, I want them to help me to come up with solutions, not sympathize. I've found that, for the most part, women want sympathy, men want solutions (if they'll even admit they have a problem). My father was a big influence n my life, so maybe that's why I handle things the way I do.
Is it possible your friend is looking for answers, not sympathy?
I think it is very possible to empathize or sympathize if you've experienced something yourself. However, that's not true of everyone. And, while you may feel strongly connected to someone who is going through something you experienced yourself in the past, that's not to say that you know exactly what they are going through, and they know it.
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What strikes me most about this situation is that your friend feels a lack of hope and is down about her situation. Being single and lonely go hand in hand until you realize that it doesn't have to. Your friend needs to look at what she has rather than what she doesn't and your attempt to relate was as a caring friend. It wasn't well received by her since she is coming from a place of lack and you appear to be happy with your present life. We all have regrets throughout our lives, married or single, but living with gratitude for things like your friendship, health and whatever else makes us thankful keeps us in hope for more great events, people and adventures ahead. When someone is offering comfort, yes, sometimes its not put forth in the right wording but if love is expressed we should all put aside our need for perfect verbage and see what comes from within the person offering it. Perhaps some day she'll see that you were offering support and love and won't be looking through her own perceptions and comparisons. Keep loving her.
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The question is can a person who has not been in a situation or is not presently in a situation that another is in relate and understand the other person's feelings. No one can understand another person's feelings absolutely. Can a person listen attentively and make an effort to understand another person's perspective regarding their life the answer is yes. Empathy is attempting to be nonjudgmental, supportive, and be present for another person
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so hard to respond here. this has stimulated a lot of thinking in my mind, and i don't know where to start.
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so hard to respond here. this has stimulated a lot of thinking in my mind, and i don't know where to start.
first - i think that empathy comes from experiencing something so similar that one shares or can get in touch with emotions related to those of the tale-teller. sympathy - the kind that's synonymous with pity - is what no one really wants. i do believe that @furthuron has empathy - she went thru experiences that gave her similar emotions, hence she "knows" as in shares knowledge, not "know it all." just as no two scholars in the same field "know" everything the same way and wouldn't write identical books on the same topic, no two people are identical in experience and emotion - but it doesn't mean that only one has all the right knowledge and the other one can't relate.
second, i still want to respect the idea that words do make a difference. if a friend told me "i know what you mean" and my response is "no you don't!" but their response to that is, "well, i'm not there now, but let me tell you, i was in a place like that before..." and then relate the source of their empathy, i'd certainly feel better about their "i know what you mean" comment, which i likely took as an offhand comment before the explanation. perhaps a shorthand for relating that whole story is "i hear you" but even people who don't "know" can say "i hear you" - so to me, "i hear you" and "i know what you mean" is not the same thing. however, "i know what you mean" most likely needs more explanation to be credible, that's all.
third, i go through this a lot myself. i'm twice divorced, and now in a blissful third marriage. only my friends who knew me all the years of dating and married to the wrong guy know that i get the whole loneliness/"there's no good people out there" experience. but even some of these think i have some magic in my life or something, because some of them have never married while i had three. i agree with the writer who says that getting married is easy. it is - too easy. still, i struggled a lot with the decisions to marry every time, and i had many awful awful partners i never married.
fourth - i think that empathy on the part of the "have it alls" have all to do with how they got it all. if you inherit money and have never been without, perhaps it's difficult to empathize with the plight of the poor. but if you clawed your way to relative riches (relative to where you came from) you surely can empathize. so, my answer to the question is that it really depends. if you're happily married to your preschool sweetheart, maybe you don't get it, but if you're happily married to your third husband after a lifetime of bad guys, maybe you do get it.
fifth, and i'll stop here - there's another couple of elements that come into play. i think that i always always knew that a happy life awaited me. that's the reason for divorce - or my divorces anyway. i actually believe in marriage, and always had, even with a father who was (physically and emotionally) abusive to me and (emotionally) to my mother. they were married 32 years, but they were never my model of marriage. from a very young age i had in my mind the possibility of bliss between a man and woman, and parents and children, so i didn't ever settle for less. when i found myself with the certain knowledge that my current relationship couldn't be repaired, i got out. i think some of my friends don't believe there's someone out there for them. my motto: there's a lid for every pot. so i tell my friends not to give up, and in my experience the ones who don't and live life optimistically (but not unrealistically - like @furtheron i know that my bliss might end) tend to do better on the happiness scale than those who do give up.
i mean no offense. this is just my two cents.
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I like this post and the responses you've gotten so far. Lots of insight into productive ways to express empathy; and of course if one has lived life and experienced it fully, "I know what you mean" is bound to be true. At the same time, this perception of being married as "having it all" strikes me as bizarre; understandable given the societal expectations most of us are spoonfed from early childhood on, but bizarre nonetheless. Surely marriage does not stop a person from growing, learning, perceiving ... and changing. Sometimes in ways so profound as to make "happily ever after" infeasible and a bad fit. I guess what I am taking from this is that I need to work on listening and responding in meaningful ways. Thanks!
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to have it all, is only to own an illusion of a shadow .. so you really never have it all ..
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to have it all, is only to own an illusion of a shadow .. so you really never have it all ..
empathy is understanding that all there is to have --> is to be able to identity yourself in the eyes of other others .. no matter who they are..
If you believe you "have it all" in your mind; you miss the point of empathy..
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Thanks to all for your responses. I see what you're saying with the "I hear you" response. As for "having it all," I think that all just depends on the person. That particular friend saw that, since I'm married, I "have it all" and since she's single, she does not. Maybe I should just get my foot out of my mouth! :)
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Does this mean that you still havent figured out that the most popular and the most beautiful girls in school arent necessarily going to be successful in matters of the heart?
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i'm in social work and deal with people who have mental illness. i see people all the time with lives that are really hard to look it while getting them to deal life where their at in their illness. sometimes one will say "you don't know what it's like to be mentally ill". i tell them "i don't know what it's like-you're right". but when i have them break down what it feels like-i tell them i know what that feeling is like. they become more willing to listen to what i have to say. most of the time-we can relate to each other when it comes to feelings but the situations (sometimes). no one feels "new feelings" no one has never felt before, though it doesn't matter if they did or not. i know people that it matters that you "know or understand how they feel". when people say they know how i feel-they may not. but i "get" their are just trying their best to console me. i don't judge them because they say it the best way. sometimes silence says it all.
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Have to agree with @flashbanding .
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