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emmylu

- 2 years ago

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Why do we as a society hide everything imperfect?

When people ask me how I am, I almost always give the pat answer "I'm fine" or "I'm good" or the equivalent, and I know so many people (possibly almost everyone) that do the exact same thing. I even answer that way when I'm ready to scream or sob or rip my hair out.
Why do we hide pain? We often revel in physical pain, brag about it, but when it comes to emotional pain; it's the opposite. Only with the few people (if anyone) we trust explicitly do we share anything beyond the top, base level of ourselves. Why do we do that?

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Because we believe imperfection isn't beauty. Most of us want to be beautiful.

we love to judge others, which makes us feel judged, so we try to be as perfect as possible so nobody can look down on us.

Oh, you can be completely open and honest with everyone you see, but don't expect anyone to want to talk with you if everytime they attempt to make small talk you give them a laundry list of your problems.

We refuse to acknowledge our own perfections and ignore that which reflects them.

I think it's a creation of capitalism and advertising. Corporations spend billion$ to convince us just how imperfect we are and if we only buy their product we will be acceptable.
The other reason is how we are conditioned by our family and people around us that we are not good enough.

Because social Darwinism is so prevalent in our culture. Corporatism has made us believe that anything or anybody who is imperfect deserves to die in order to improve the whole. However, ultimately, God will judge us by how we treat the least among us.

Emotional pain is often viewed as being "weak". And when I'm already feeling down, I don't feel like being judged any further.

As a typical American I've been taught to polite and non burdening to all except my closest confidants.

"When people ask me how I am, I almost always give the pat answer "I'm fine" or "I'm good" or the equivalent, and I know so many people (possibly almost everyone) that do the exact same thing. I even answer that way when I'm ready to scream or sob or rip my hair out."

While recovering from a traumatic death in the family, when people asked me how I was I'd say, "awful, I feel like sh*t." All the masks were stripped away. Interestingly, the masks never came back. Now, after 20 years and a few more traumas, I still say exactly what I mean or feel. People who know me well enough probably watch what they ask me, lest I tell them the truth. Though, if I don't have time or don't feel like baring my soul in a particular circumstance, I'll say, "Well enough." The value of this way of expression, is that when I do feel good, and people ask me and I can honestly say, "great," it is a lot more meaningful to both parties.

"Only with the few people (if anyone) we trust explicitly ". Because we trust them, we share our pain. They might be able to help or can understand better than most. That's what friends are for.
People asking how you are may just be saying hello.

Well, i see what you mean.......We want perfection. We hold everything up to standards that we ourselves are unable to achieve: our politician's must be monogamous, heterosexual, christian, saints, but very few of us fit those criteria.....We want flawless beauty, perfect bodies, etc.......yet none of us are perfect........As a musician, I often look at this from a musical perspective......Nowadays, we use pitch-correction software like ProTools to remove all the imperfections out of a person's voice, and the end result is that everyone sounds the same---"canned"..........Striving for perfection is good in that it keeps us from being complacent, and gives us a goal, but in the pursuit of that, we often forget that it is our "flaws" that give us character........again i think of music.......If Mick Jagger had a perfect, classically trained singing voice, then he wouldn't sound like Mick Jagger would he? It's his flaws, as a vocalist, that give his voice it's character, making it totally unique......without our flaws or slight imperfections, we would all be the same: perfect and perfectly boring.........Also, it's important to note that without imperfections, perfection would have no meaning.........ugliness gives beauty its meaning and vice versa...its the contrast between the two that sets them apart and gives them their meaning.....

For the very reason dancingplatypus just posted. If we show our vulnerability and "imperfections" to others "at large" we feel at risk of being devoured like we do to the celebs in the magazines. I've seen it happen in the workplace many so called "adults" can't resist destroying others when given the opportunity.

Errr.... one glance at the magazines at any check out line will show that we do not hide imperfect things. In fact, we launch upon them and devour them. Perhaps it's our need to demonize people that makes us wary of putting the shoe on the other foot, lest we get a taste of our own medicine.

@emmylu Minnesota

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SoulPancake

emmylu

Why do we as a society hide everything imperfect?

Wahoo4UVA

Because we believe imperfection isn't beauty. Most of us want to be beautiful.

lueran

we love to judge others, which makes us feel judged, so we try to be as perfect as possible so nobody can look down on us.

Practice14

Oh, you can be completely open and honest with everyone you see, but don't expect anyone to want to talk with you if everytime they attempt to make small talk you give them a laundry list of your problems.

Russell

We refuse to acknowledge our own perfections and ignore that which reflects them.

Brentwood

I think it's a creation of capitalism and advertising. Corporations spend billion$ to convince us just how imperfect we are and if we only buy their product we will be acceptable.
The other reason is how we are conditioned by our family and people around us that we are not good enough.

AllenHarris

Because social Darwinism is so prevalent in our culture. Corporatism has made us believe that anything or anybody who is imperfect deserves to die in order to improve the whole. However, ultimately, God will judge us by how we treat the least among us.

HaleyHanson

Emotional pain is often viewed as being "weak". And when I'm already feeling down, I don't feel like being judged any further.

ebbnflowbee

As a typical American I've been taught to polite and non burdening to all except my closest confidants.

Imananimal

watcher

"Only with the few people (if anyone) we trust explicitly ". Because we trust them, we share our pain. They might be able to help or can understand better than most. That's what friends are for.
People asking how you are may just be saying hello.

nothingman

Still

dancingplatypus

Errr.... one glance at the magazines at any check out line will show that we do not hide imperfect things. In fact, we launch upon them and devour them. Perhaps it's our need to demonize people that makes us wary of putting the shoe on the other foot, lest we get a taste of our own medicine.

Why do we as a society hide everything imperfect?

Because we believe imperfection isn't beauty. Most of us want to be beautiful.

we love to judge others, which makes us feel judged, so we try to be as perfect as possible so nobody can look down on us.

Oh, you can be completely open and honest with everyone you see, but don't expect anyone to want to talk with you if everytime they attempt to make small talk you give them a laundry list of your problems.

We refuse to acknowledge our own perfections and ignore that which reflects them.

I think it's a creation of capitalism and advertising. Corporations spend billion$ to convince us just how imperfect we are and if we only buy their product we will be acceptable. The other reason is how we are conditioned by our family and people around us that we are not good enough.

Because social Darwinism is so prevalent in our culture. Corporatism has made us believe that anything or anybody who is imperfect deserves to die in order to improve the whole. However, ultimately, God will judge us by how we treat the least among us.

Emotional pain is often viewed as being "weak". And when I'm already feeling down, I don't feel like being judged any further.

As a typical American I've been taught to polite and non burdening to all except my closest confidants.

"Only with the few people (if anyone) we trust explicitly ". Because we trust them, we share our pain. They might be able to help or can understand better than most. That's what friends are for. People asking how you are may just be saying hello.

Errr.... one glance at the magazines at any check out line will show that we do not hide imperfect things. In fact, we launch upon them and devour them. Perhaps it's our need to demonize people that makes us wary of putting the shoe on the other foot, lest we get a taste of our own medicine.

What's Next?

I think it's a creation of capitalism and advertising. Corporations spend billion$ to convince us just how imperfect we are and if we only buy their product we will be acceptable.
The other reason is how we are conditioned by our family and people around us that we are not good enough.

"Only with the few people (if anyone) we trust explicitly ". Because we trust them, we share our pain. They might be able to help or can understand better than most. That's what friends are for.
People asking how you are may just be saying hello.