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I ran across this in my online travels today, from focus.com, RE eye contact:
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I ran across this in my online travels today, from focus.com, RE eye contact:
Eye contact…
When holding a conversation, the person you’re speaking with should focus on your eyes. They indicate your emotions and can show whether you’re paying attention or not. Be considerate of what your eyes tell about you: show others respect and you’ll get respect in return.
What to do:
10. Look directly at the person you are talking to in order to exude confidence.
What not to do:
11. Don’t shift your attention to other people or things in the room. It shows deceit.
12. Be careful not to glare at the person talking to you. You may think you look intensely interested, but you just look mad.
13. Don’t blink excessively. People will be distracted and wonder if there’s something wrong with you.
14. If you wear glasses, don’t look over the rim. It makes you look condescending.
15. Never wear sunglasses inside, especially during a meeting. Others will wonder if you have something to hide.
16. Don’t look at your watch unless you want to appear as if you’re in a rush.
17. Don’t rub your eyes with your hands: it signals disbelief at the situation.
18. When you pinch the bridge of your nose with your eyes closed, you’ll come across in a negative manner.
19. Keeping your eyes on the door will show that you’re ready to leave the room.
... This is the kind of pressure I feel like I am under when having face to face conversations. This is why I run an ONLINE ONLY business. And I work in a warehouse. At night. It's not good for the whole "Win Friends and Influence People" thing.
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i loathe the people who stare at me. Especially the men...nothing worse than a guy who thinks he's hard buy giving you the stink eye. I stare back but give the wtf is wrong with you look and walk away. I only casually glance at attractive women. OH and if they have pretty eyes then its almost hard not to look again.
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I look strangers in the eyes all the time, it never ceases to amaze me how skittish we are. Sometimes people look back though, adventurers all.
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I am 50 and I still avert my eyes. I wish I could just wink at the ladies and give guys a Marty Feldman thing. It's probably affected my social life and career over the years. I just don't like being the focus of someone else's gaze and I guess by averting my eyes it makes me think it has stopped.
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i like to stare at people in the eye, just because i like to see what kind of reaction they have. I don't have a problem with it, i always look at somebody in the eyes when talking with them, and sometimes if i'm just looking around and happen to lock eyes with someone, it can be fun to see who looks away first :-)
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Staring is interpreted by wild animals as aggressive behavior. Don't know if this applies to humans. I remember one time going into a mall in SC and realizing that some gang of young people had taken it over. One of my sons saw a gun being shown around too. I did not make eye contact with anyone and got out as fast as I could. It was later in the paper that a curfew was put on that mall b/c of gang activity in it.
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Weird I was thinking about this the other day. I noticed I don't look people in the eye very often, but I have no idea why.
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Most of the time it's because I'm afraid of what I might do because I feel self-conscious. It's almost as if I can see exactly what I'm doing in their eyes, and it's disgusting to me, so I'd rather look away. Sometimes I feel so on top of the world that I can look anybody into the depths of their soul though.
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You know what's weird? I'm the shyest person you'll ever meet but I can look any one person directly in the eyes. I don't know what it is but it's like the shield I use are my eyes and my eyes allow me to not have to say something I'm holding back in any one situation.
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