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I agree with TNtinman. Maya is always right. I have seen her speak in person. Worth it.
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I agree with TNtinman. Maya is always right. I have seen her speak in person. Worth it.
The quote reminds me of the saying- "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
People can learn, but a certain type of excuse is a huge red flag. When someone says- "That wasn't really me. I am not like that." when they acknowledge that they did, in fact, do it. If a person says "Oh, I am so shocked at myself, I didn't realize I was like that." at least they might change. If they try to pretend they are not REALLY responsible for what they did, they most likely will act out again in some way.
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I think that's very wise.
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I think that's very wise.
When you get to the point with someone that the impression is they are 'lowering defenses' to give you a glimpse of their soul, take it at face value.
If the 'fruit' of that inward glimpse continue to shine forth from their life in season and out of season, then they have been true with you and you have found a 'genuine' soul.
If however what they reveal in what is alleged to be an exercise of truth doesn't appear over time to be their "regular crop", then they are not genuine. But that's OK. It's their choice. They may even have some very good 'reasons' (actual or perceived). But you have gleaned wisdom from it none the less -- and allowed them the chance to be genuine, which is good. Everyone deserves this.
And don't begrudge them that they have felt the need to mislead under the guise of being true. They are somewhere dark, and the prospect of being genuine with others scares them. Have compassion for them. Help them if you can. Allow them room for change, but keep in mind their manifest nature and don't let it hurt you.
Even in the absence of judgment or condemnation, it is reasonable to expect them to have to go a bit farther should they have an internal healing and wish to reveal themselves as 'genuine'.
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I can see two different interpretations:
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I can see two different interpretations:
Some people make very strong first impressions (good or bad) and this impression is later borne out by their actions later on.
OR
If someone I know does something which grabs my attention (good or bad) I should pay attention. If its bad, if this person does something which demonstrates a lack of empathy or integrity, I shouldn't feel obligated to give him/her a second or third change to do the same thing again. If its good, I should trust this even if other things about them might appear to be "off" somehow.
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I think she is right except for 2 exceptions....
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I think she is right except for 2 exceptions....
1.teenagers- they dont know what they are doing and in a process of development
2.someone in therapy- because they are also evolving.
But otherwise I have really learned to read between the lines, and if somebody shows me symptoms of a personality disorder- I become very wary. Character defines us. I`m not saying that we are all perfect at all - but some displays of behavior are something to walk away from- fast.
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