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I had a couple friends I stop being friends with about two months ago, for about the same reasons you mentioned. They were careless and selfish and manipulative. I really just started detaching myself from certain people who weren't doing me any good and getting me into trouble, and stuff like that. I seemed to have gotten really lucky that I found my boyfriend when I did, so I'm not complaining in the romance department.
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I had a couple friends I stop being friends with about two months ago, for about the same reasons you mentioned. They were careless and selfish and manipulative. I really just started detaching myself from certain people who weren't doing me any good and getting me into trouble, and stuff like that. I seemed to have gotten really lucky that I found my boyfriend when I did, so I'm not complaining in the romance department.
I don't think you are unlucky, I just think you should go hang out places you normally wouldn't and try to meet some new people.
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I feel the same way sometimes... I think that's just because I'm such a vastly different person than I was when I first met them all.... So that's why I just get over it. But I do wish I could make another group of friends that I related to more.
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i felt the same way about a year ago about the people i was hanging out with. these were people i had been close to for several years. my life changed, i became more goal driven and responsible and we drifted apart. i had to make a change in personnel in order to keep moving forward. now, my two best friends are my son and wife. actually, i DO still have about three close friends, but i dont get to see them as often as id like. i think as you get older you realize that most friends you have will flow in and out of your life. you might get lucky and have a few life long friends, but for the most part, your family is the only constant. if you dont like your friends, find new ones! if you dont like your boyfriend, find a new one! its that simple because life is too short to waste on people that arent worth it.
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When it comes to where I work, certainly not! Finance people tend to be pretty selfish and materialistic. They're not all bad, all the time... but the ability to lie for the purpose of self-interest and screw someone over and then say, "it's just business" or "don't take it personally" is just lame and sketchy imo.
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When it comes to where I work, certainly not! Finance people tend to be pretty selfish and materialistic. They're not all bad, all the time... but the ability to lie for the purpose of self-interest and screw someone over and then say, "it's just business" or "don't take it personally" is just lame and sketchy imo.
As for friends, I love my friends. They all offer me love, appreciation and enhance my life the more we share our lives with one another.
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@alexandracole
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@alexandracole
Do you have one good friend?
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There will always be all kinds of people and one will always have to make compromises and allow for others to be different- thank God- because otherwise things would be quite monotonous too. But the crowd I hang with ( if you can call it that at my age-LOL) are basically sane. I used to hang out with personality disordered people because this is what I knew from my parents. My tolerance for this kind of wild, torrid, and self-destructive behavior became less and less with therapy. So I sieved them out. Also- I used to smoke a lot of pot and I used to hang out with people who needed either drugs or alcohol to get through their week. Dont have that anymore either. Grateful I am.
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There will always be all kinds of people and one will always have to make compromises and allow for others to be different- thank God- because otherwise things would be quite monotonous too. But the crowd I hang with ( if you can call it that at my age-LOL) are basically sane. I used to hang out with personality disordered people because this is what I knew from my parents. My tolerance for this kind of wild, torrid, and self-destructive behavior became less and less with therapy. So I sieved them out. Also- I used to smoke a lot of pot and I used to hang out with people who needed either drugs or alcohol to get through their week. Dont have that anymore either. Grateful I am.
They say we attract what we somehow need ourselves. Change those needs and we attract different people. I guess, when I didnt want that drama in my life anymore, I finally met people who didnt give me drama either.
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My bestfriend is my boyfriend.
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My bestfriend is my boyfriend.
All the other folk I was talking about were my friends years and years ago.
I knew who they were, they knew who I was but I do wish, so wish, that we all could know eachother once again.
They say once you get older though people don't want to do the same kinds of things, or "hang" out as much but....I'm only 25. I feel this is too young for me to not have a social life. A meaningful one though.
So, perhaps it's just *me* they don't want to connect with again:)
But on the bright side, I am having coffee with an old girl friend in a few weeks.
My social anxiety is aware of this but the heart of me knows not to back out.
To answer you MercyofChaos, Yes, I want to be understood. I think we all do.
It could be attributed to mental things but I feel a disconnect from me and most others.
Like they intellectually can grasp what I might feel like but don't really know so it leaves one feeling slightly alone.
It could be a mental disorder that worsens as I age but I still have enough cognitive intellect and emotion, and desire for connectedness that I hope if enough *time is spent with people, they will see me again. Or, re-learn me.
And to the QP- Yes, we all want to be with people who mean something to us.
And even though I have my friendship/or years gone by lack-there-ofs, I'm thankful to have a bestfriend who puts up with my strangeness.
And here's hoping for Time to help along with my need for more meaningful friendships again.
:)
Good question for first thing in my morning QP.
Time doesn't heal all but it is so very precious and it is Time that allows getting to really know someone.
Maybe you're spending too much time with folks that tick you off:)
But also, no matter what kind of relationship-lovers-friends-family- if you're together ALL the time, you will irritate one another sometimes.
That's probably why we get on our own nerves the most often.
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