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PopeSkippyXVI

- 2 years ago

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How would you begin your autobiography?

This has been done before, but quite a long time ago. What would you write for the first sentence or short paragraph? [starting off with "I'd be surprised if anybody's reading" is generally ingenuous.] As an example, here's Judy Garland's from A Star is Born:
"I was born in a trunk in the Princess theatre in Pocatella, Idaho."
It doesn't have to start at birth either.

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Sometimes I wish, not matter how abstract it may sound, that I could crawl back inside the womb, and go to sleep.

There was a baby boy who was found by guerrila miltants in a ton of elephant dung. Toilet trained at gun point and fed cigarettes instead of baby bottles he developed a nervous twitch and a urinary track infection. Love starved and hungry he studied the uni-cycle and went to perform for a circus in Vegas. After a successfull year at the cat lounge he celebrated his 3rd birthday drinking pablum in the desert with a singer named Jim Morrison. Jim said "hey kid" the kid replied "yes Jim'? "A friend is someone who gives you the total freedom to be yourself"! Wow Jim, that is insightfull and he crapped his pants...

I was born and immediately put on the clearance/damaged goods table; fortunately a preacher and his wife were looking for a marked down baby.

"It's a girl!" the doctor cried, as he smacked my fanny and forced me to inhale that first searing breath of life..

"When they looked down, there wasn't much to say other than: geesh, she's a loud one!"

It all began with my realization that toast and chocolate milk go together perfectly.

"I spent hours trying to come up with a witty, quotable first line for my autobiography. Nothing has come to mind yet, so I'll just leave this sentence here and come back to it when I've got a good one. Now, to the business at hand."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...ok, mostly, it was the worst of times."

I still think I was left on my parents' door step by a wandering band of Gypsies--or maybe a time-traveling band of hippies.

Two Other Thoughts:

1. Evil is my tenor sax, Armageddon my melody.

2. I am the master of the fantastic, creating astounding fashions shows that mixed design, technology and performance and on another I am a modern day genius whose gothic aesthetic was adopted by women the world over.

(second one stolen from Alexander McQueen's obit)

I think my father never really forgave me for making him miss D-Day.

Let me explain...

She was not a fancy girl and her knickers were always clean, but the knots hurt as hell ;)

"...hummm... So many possibilites."

There are few things I want to get off my chest.....

"Call me Ishmael."

It was a cold and stormy night....

Lord, Garrison...I just now looked at the accompanying pic...damn! Great birth control method. If that won't put you offa havin' kids, nothin' will! LOL!

One of my favorite books as a girl was "Here's to you, Rachel Robinson" by Judy Blume. I love the book because it was my life written on those pages. In the novel, Rachel Robinson has to write an autobiography for English class and she starts with something akin to my mother always tells everyone I was born 32...

I think I would have to start my autobiography with a sentence like that. Simple but expansive.

Eaton Bray
...is the answer to that question, once musically asked by Andy Williams -
“Where do I begin?”

that's what I have at the moment - but there is a preface...but that is not quotable at all...

...and this isn't a "what would" I'm 48,000 words into it...

@PopeSkippyXVI ...waiting for this, too, to pass...

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SoulPancake

PopeSkippyXVI

How would you begin your autobiography?

nogoodanswers

Sometimes I wish, not matter how abstract it may sound, that I could crawl back inside the womb, and go to sleep.

MercyofChaos

PopeSkippyXVI

I was born and immediately put on the clearance/damaged goods table; fortunately a preacher and his wife were looking for a marked down baby.

Trixie

"It's a girl!" the doctor cried, as he smacked my fanny and forced me to inhale that first searing breath of life..

kdmask

"When they looked down, there wasn't much to say other than: geesh, she's a loud one!"

kevinwaite

It all began with my realization that toast and chocolate milk go together perfectly.

RyanLBailey

"I spent hours trying to come up with a witty, quotable first line for my autobiography. Nothing has come to mind yet, so I'll just leave this sentence here and come back to it when I've got a good one. Now, to the business at hand."

oddlyvintage22

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...ok, mostly, it was the worst of times."

BlueCrayon

I still think I was left on my parents' door step by a wandering band of Gypsies--or maybe a time-traveling band of hippies.

northstop

idamines

I think my father never really forgave me for making him miss D-Day.

bobbiesgirl

Let me explain...

Lynnflynn

She was not a fancy girl and her knickers were always clean, but the knots hurt as hell ;)

AloraLou

"...hummm... So many possibilites."

northstop

There are few things I want to get off my chest.....

zamfir

"Call me Ishmael."

HumanAllTooHuman

It was a cold and stormy night....

earthshamankel

Lord, Garrison...I just now looked at the accompanying pic...damn! Great birth control method. If that won't put you offa havin' kids, nothin' will! LOL!

Joanndra

flashbanding

Eaton Bray
...is the answer to that question, once musically asked by Andy Williams -
“Where do I begin?”

that's what I have at the moment - but there is a preface...but that is not quotable at all...

...and this isn't a "what would" I'm 48,000 words into it...

How would you begin your autobiography?

Sometimes I wish, not matter how abstract it may sound, that I could crawl back inside the womb, and go to sleep.

I was born and immediately put on the clearance/damaged goods table; fortunately a preacher and his wife were looking for a marked down baby.

"It's a girl!" the doctor cried, as he smacked my fanny and forced me to inhale that first searing breath of life..

"When they looked down, there wasn't much to say other than: geesh, she's a loud one!"

It all began with my realization that toast and chocolate milk go together perfectly.

"I spent hours trying to come up with a witty, quotable first line for my autobiography. Nothing has come to mind yet, so I'll just leave this sentence here and come back to it when I've got a good one. Now, to the business at hand."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...ok, mostly, it was the worst of times."

I still think I was left on my parents' door step by a wandering band of Gypsies--or maybe a time-traveling band of hippies.

I think my father never really forgave me for making him miss D-Day.

Let me explain...

She was not a fancy girl and her knickers were always clean, but the knots hurt as hell ;)

"...hummm... So many possibilites."

There are few things I want to get off my chest.....

"Call me Ishmael."

It was a cold and stormy night....

Lord, Garrison...I just now looked at the accompanying pic...damn! Great birth control method. If that won't put you offa havin' kids, nothin' will! LOL!

Eaton Bray ...is the answer to that question, once musically asked by Andy Williams - “Where do I begin?”that's what I have at the moment - but there is a preface...but that is not quotable at all......and this isn't a "what would" I'm 48,000 words into it...

What's Next?

Eaton Bray
...is the answer to that question, once musically asked by Andy Williams -
“Where do I begin?”

that's what I have at the moment - but there is a preface...but that is not quotable at all...

...and this isn't a "what would" I'm 48,000 words into it...