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Aviv

- 2 years ago

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Is it ok that I ration my girlfriend's sugar consumption?

My girlfriend is totally addicted to sugar. After a meal, she craves it like crack. Tonight, I told her that we should sugar detox for a week... Then I turned around and she had this ridiculous bag of sugar coated gummy candies... I snatched it from her and hid it. Then she tore apart the kitchen looking for them ;)

After a while, I calmly rationed her 10 "portions" of sugar coated candies... She is now calm.

Does Chrissy need an intervention?

source: http://www.soulpancake.com/people/cadams

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@aviv i guess it's okay as long as she un-literally scares you to death.

I know it's hard to ration sugar, I did it for lent one year (although not totally excavating sugar from my diet during that time), if it had sugar within the first three ingredients I couldn't eat it and honestly durign that time (after initial headaches subsided) I never felt better, I lost 10 pounds, my skin cleared up and I had tons more energy.
But after the 40 days I went over-board on getting back on sugar (think coffee cup with 5 teaspoons of sugar, then a candy and penut butter sandwich)

If she asked its okay, if she didn't not really...
And I know I'd be pissed at people hiding my addictions though he only one I did secretly I kept hidden pretty well for a year.
But really if you're doing it for a laugh it's fine cuz yes sometimes it is funny to see people in a fit of rage (I work with a guy who pretty much constantly hides the managers cigarettes). And who gets mad at candy being thrown? Air candy is the best! (And if you were actually worried about sugar you would not be pelting her with chocolatey delicousness).

"we're gonna learn everything from bad habits" - Burning Brides

And I say that while eating a Kitkat myself!! :)

Umm....really? Rationing her candy? Don't you realize affecting her happiness is gonna affect yours too? Lol

I really cannot believe that people are taking this so seriously. Why does everything in life have to be fraught with double meanings and psycho-babble.

I mean really? Can't two people in a relationship have a bit of fun. Have you seen The Cosby Show? or Home Improvement? Laugh a little will you. I'm sure this is not the first time "intervention" has been made to be funny.

Jeezz...

To all of you talking about abuse... I just threw an entire Kit Kat bar at Chrissy! ;P

To all the people in this thread telling me about abusive behavior...

Ten minutes ago, I threw an entire Kit Kat at my girlfriend! Take THAT Chrissy!!!

Let her dentist have that responsibility. When her teeth are rotting out of her mouth, she may wake up..

telling an addict no is not considered helpful; it's considered a challenge.

I agree with the anti-interventionists that have already spoken. Ruthie is mega-wise and very quick on the keyboard.

A story: my father had several strokes and other complications. About six months before he died, at 88, my mother would not let him have ice-cream because she was afraid of his cholesterol count. So I drove Daddy to Braums and he filled up on chocolate milk shakes and dies slightly happier than he would have been if mother had gotten her way.

I would like further clarification, though. By "girlfriend" do you mean "partner"? Do you have medical training or are you a dietitian? How did you come across the dosage of 10 as the proper one?

Sounds to me that the whole tearing-the-kitchen-apart episode was not as much from her craving crack sugar as from your control issues. So maybe, an intervention is in order.

Is it ok that I ration my girlfriend's sugar consumption? From your responses to the comments below, you do not seem to be looking for/expecting approval for your behavior. What do/did you hope to get from this post? Is it just for fun?
Many of us are suckers for this kind of bait. We care.

Chrissy needs a thorough medical checkup.

I think pointing fingers and calling this guy a potential abuser is a tad crazy. Its easy for people who have not been a victim of a controlling abuser to see this as dangerous. I don't think you're some psycho wife-beater waiting to happen, but I think perhaps you do care a little too much about her sugar intake. Unless it is negatively affecting her health or your relationship, I think you should let it go. This doesn't make you a crazy controller (I only wish my ex had been rationing out my candy as opposed to real control and abuse), but it might make you a little uptight.

Just chill out and let her have some candy, it makes her happy.

I had to stop laughing first.

"After a while, I calmly rationed her 10 "portions" of sugar coated candies... She is now calm."

You sound a little like a co-dependant, but who am I to judge. I tend to lean toward the fact that humans have free will and should be allowed to make choices for themselves, until they start to hurt others. Sadly, people tend to be self destructive, which makes others want to step in and "help." Is it right? I dunno, but I think it can be right on a case-by-case basis. If it works for both people in the relationship, is constructive, and has positive results...maybe.

I suppose it's better than supporting her habbit (?). My main observation is that she doesn't seem on-board with your detox plan. So my answer to your question is:

"No. Probably not."

I have to admit that as I read this my initial response
was "why does HE decide that THEY are going off sugar...." etc.
And as I read through the responses I see I'm not the only one
along those lines...Although I don't think this kind of thing necessarily
heads to abuse, it is unhealthy imho.

So to answer your question - no, it's not o.k.

We can all see many points where friends/family "need intervention" that are perhaps not so clear to them. Just as they probably could for us. It's a "can't see the forest for the trees" kind of thing.

What it comes down to is whether it's our place to intervene. The other person has to give you the authority to do this or else it will eventually destroy the relationship by turning it into an unhealthy variation of a "parent/child" relationship with someone who is meant to be your peer. Think of how you would respond if someone swooped down on you in an "I will parent you" mode -- especially on soemthing you may only grudgingly see as a problem!

Someone can trust you enough to ask you to require this level of accountability from them. But the key is that THEY have seen the need for life-change, have not succeeded on their own, and are asking a trusted friend to help them.
It's entirely different if they haven't actually asked. You would be presuming too much, turning it into an exercise more of control than of love. Some people will "allow it" because they do want to be a bit of a child again with others taking responsibility for them. Just don't mistake "compliance" for "permission".
Tread softly on your friends' lives. Help, but don't enable negative process.
Nobody said this would be easy!

Only if its OK if she rations your consumption of Soul Pancakes. ;)

Team SP

How did this thread devolve into control and abuse issues? Really?

Rather than a sugar detox, how about eating as much sugar as possible until either of you pukes? That might learn ya....

Maybe everyone tells everyone else how to run their lives too often... Or maybe Im just a serious person this morning... Maybe, maybe.

A mother takes her son to the town wise man. They stand in line for well over an hour. When they are called forth the mother tells the wise man to tell her son to stop eating sugar. The town wise man looks intensely in the child's eyes and says, "OK." He informs the mother to bring back the child in two weeks. Two weeks later the mother and son are back in line waiting to speak with the wise man. When they are called to the front the wise man looks at the child quite intensely and says, "Stop eating sugar!". The mother asks why he did not tell him that two weeks ago and the wise man says, "Because two weeks ago I was eating sugar!"

@Aviv Portland, OR

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SoulPancake

Aviv

Is it ok that I ration my girlfriend's sugar consumption?

DanielPotashov

@aviv i guess it's okay as long as she un-literally scares you to death.

HelpImAlive

HelpImAlive

Yael

And I say that while eating a Kitkat myself!! :)

Yael

Umm....really? Rationing her candy? Don't you realize affecting her happiness is gonna affect yours too? Lol

Joanndra

Aviv

To all of you talking about abuse... I just threw an entire Kit Kat bar at Chrissy! ;P

Aviv

To all the people in this thread telling me about abusive behavior...

Ten minutes ago, I threw an entire Kit Kat at my girlfriend! Take THAT Chrissy!!!

Trixie

Let her dentist have that responsibility. When her teeth are rotting out of her mouth, she may wake up..

PopeSkippyXVI

DAISYDO

Is it ok that I ration my girlfriend's sugar consumption? From your responses to the comments below, you do not seem to be looking for/expecting approval for your behavior. What do/did you hope to get from this post? Is it just for fun?
Many of us are suckers for this kind of bait. We care.

DAISYDO

Chrissy needs a thorough medical checkup.

Hannah6

Chrisrowl

SueHawk

Griz

BlueCrayon

Only if its OK if she rations your consumption of Soul Pancakes. ;)

PaulaC

How did this thread devolve into control and abuse issues? Really?

Rather than a sugar detox, how about eating as much sugar as possible until either of you pukes? That might learn ya....

ShawnAbnoxious

Maybe everyone tells everyone else how to run their lives too often... Or maybe Im just a serious person this morning... Maybe, maybe.

Living4Now

Is it ok that I ration my girlfriend's sugar consumption?

@aviv i guess it's okay as long as she un-literally scares you to death.

And I say that while eating a Kitkat myself!! :)

Umm....really? Rationing her candy? Don't you realize affecting her happiness is gonna affect yours too? Lol

To all of you talking about abuse... I just threw an entire Kit Kat bar at Chrissy! ;P

To all the people in this thread telling me about abusive behavior... Ten minutes ago, I threw an entire Kit Kat at my girlfriend! Take THAT Chrissy!!!

Let her dentist have that responsibility. When her teeth are rotting out of her mouth, she may wake up..

**Is it ok that I ration my girlfriend's sugar consumption?** From your responses to the comments below, you do not seem to be looking for/expecting approval for your behavior. What do/did you hope to get from this post? Is it just for fun? Many of us are suckers for this kind of bait. We care.

Chrissy needs a thorough medical checkup.

Only if its OK if she rations your consumption of Soul Pancakes. ;)

How did this thread devolve into control and abuse issues? Really? Rather than a sugar detox, how about eating as much sugar as possible until either of you pukes? That might learn ya....

Maybe everyone tells everyone else how to run their lives too often... Or maybe Im just a serious person this morning... Maybe, maybe.

What's Next?

To all the people in this thread telling me about abusive behavior...

Ten minutes ago, I threw an entire Kit Kat at my girlfriend! Take THAT Chrissy!!!

Is it ok that I ration my girlfriend's sugar consumption? From your responses to the comments below, you do not seem to be looking for/expecting approval for your behavior. What do/did you hope to get from this post? Is it just for fun?
Many of us are suckers for this kind of bait. We care.

How did this thread devolve into control and abuse issues? Really?

Rather than a sugar detox, how about eating as much sugar as possible until either of you pukes? That might learn ya....