SoulPancake / Conversations / Is honesty always the best policy?

Jump into a Conversation about Life's' Big Questions

sirmitchell

- 2 years ago

Feature
0
Like
Follow

Is honesty always the best policy?

Everyone knows you shouldnt lie, and for the most part I dont. Not because I'm such a good person, but I'm just so bad at lying, that by default has trained me to be quite honest, sometimes brutally honest. This doesnt always end well.

As an artist, I appreciate honest feedback, as its a no bullshit route to a solution should a problem arise. But even I have my limit.

Do you appreciate people being frank with you, 100% of the time?

Recent Discussed Liked

First level responses second level responses

@sirmitchell remember, the greater good.

I definitely agree with some people on here about honesty being important. Most of my friendships that work the best are with people I can be honest with and it works out great. We make fun of each other and all speak our minds, but we're there for eachother when needed. I think one of the big differences here is when people are brutally honest in order to help someone they love realize something about their life or even just stop them from wearing a frumpy dress that looks like something your grandmother wouldn't wear as opposed to someone who is brutally honest with you about something very personal, in front of a group of people...simply because they are mad at you and want to embarrass you.

So I guess it's kind of all about your intention in my point of view.

Given the choice i'd rather err on the side of honesty. "The truth hurts" only because people aren't accustomed to hearing it.

to me there is another pressing reason not to tell lies...

at my age, memory for what I have said over the years is getting a little more shaky - if you have always told the truth - it doesn't bother you a bit...

if on the other hand you have been weaving tangled webs...

you are up excretion creek with no useful propulsion device...

erm, make that *hop
Dammit Freud.

To quote that wise(assed) one, Kanobi:
"So, what I told you is true. . from a certain point of view."
If 'what's true' is as relative as the humans who interpret it, couldn't we also claim the same about 'being honest'? Anyway, functionally, we all are both honest and dishonest. We all intentionally and unintentionally mislead... so that's what we have to deal with. Those who claim otherwise, imo, are most dishonest to themselves.
Lies are just as much of a communicative device as as honesty, and are a very necessary element of human interaction. Try http://www.soulpancake.com/question/13897/honesty-always-the-best-policy-a-hypothetical-exercise.html">this hypothetical exercise, if you'd like.
Oh, and one more bit... remember the other side of the honesty coin is trust (and always trusting isn't always wise nor prudent). So that's about as frank as I can be. Honestly.

I always prefer honesty, but I am aware that social conventions, particularly those found at places of employment or worship, are there for a reason.

I personally don't get my panties in a bunch if someone is brutally honest, unless they are being hostile in a passive-aggressive manner.

I do think honesty is important and I think I'd much rather someone be honest with me than tactful. My caveat is there are some aspects about my life and my past that I do not want to share. So, I guess I think privacy is more important than honesty. But rather than directly lie about those things, I just evade conversations or state that I'm not interested in discussing it, lies by omission I guess.

Honesty involves a lot more than being willing to say "that dress makes you look fat." It's part of the way people live their lives. It has to include reliability and a respect for your fellow man. I also agree that tact is often more important than brutality.

Oh, yeah I forgot to give you props on the artwork. Love the wallpapers!

I agree with @bexjex & @julesallyn - honesty is good & important, but tact is always a plus. Being honest doesn't necessarily mean BRUTALLY honest. It depends on the situation. There have been times I was really glad someone had the balls to be brutally honest with a well-needed wake-up call. Equally, I've been grateful for gentle reminders.

And I used to think honest & open were synonymous, but they're not. Again, it's situational.

What I'm finding recently - & it's quite a revelation to me, is that honesty is NOT always the best policy. It, too, is situational. Like you, I'm not a good liar & don't like to lie. Besides being totally conditioned against it, it's just messy, in a word. But, there are some circumstances where a lie is better.

Do I appreciate someone being 100% frank 100% of the time...well, yeah. I prefer it. And again, tact is helpful.

Deception breeds distrust, which is cancerous to any relationship. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it really is the best policy. If I ask "does my a*s look fat in these jeans?" I probably already know the answer and should have never asked the question in the first place. Unsolicited advice/feedback and "brutal" honestly are typically tools used to hurt one another and should be avoided, as this so-called honestly does not encourage positive development.

Give it to me straight. I can deal with tactlessness much better than I can deal with mush.

That depends: are you a consequentialist?

It's difficult for me to flat-out say 100% of the time. But I will say 95% of the time I want it. I NEED honesty... or else my mind explodes.

But, let's say I just ate 25 cupcakes (just ate 12 in one sitting the other night) - and I ask someone... That's not so bad for me right? - I don't want them to tell me the truth right there... So that's the 5% where I need LIES!!! :D

Team SP

@sirmitchell Los Angeles, CA

Follow Message

More Conversations from sirmitchell

“The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more... 13 Responses For those who believe in an afterlife, how would your life change if you suddenly knew for a... 11 Responses Will current day theology ever become mythology? 20 Responses Mosque near Ground Zero 39 Responses Does "666" scare you? 30 Responses

Show More ↓

SoulPancake

sirmitchell

Is honesty always the best policy?

DanielPotashov

@sirmitchell remember, the greater good.

FranFran

Mistral

Given the choice i'd rather err on the side of honesty. "The truth hurts" only because people aren't accustomed to hearing it.

flashbanding

applegrass

erm, make that *hop
Dammit Freud.

applegrass

zamfir

I always prefer honesty, but I am aware that social conventions, particularly those found at places of employment or worship, are there for a reason.

I personally don't get my panties in a bunch if someone is brutally honest, unless they are being hostile in a passive-aggressive manner.

jedikelb

PopeSkippyXVI

Honesty involves a lot more than being willing to say "that dress makes you look fat." It's part of the way people live their lives. It has to include reliability and a respect for your fellow man. I also agree that tact is often more important than brutality.

earthshamankel

Oh, yeah I forgot to give you props on the artwork. Love the wallpapers!

earthshamankel

julesallyn

KimSP

Give it to me straight. I can deal with tactlessness much better than I can deal with mush.

Mentieth

That depends: are you a consequentialist?

Aviv

Is honesty always the best policy?

@sirmitchell remember, the greater good.

Given the choice i'd rather err on the side of honesty. "The truth hurts" only because people aren't accustomed to hearing it.

erm, make that *hopDammit Freud.

I always prefer honesty, but I am aware that social conventions, particularly those found at places of employment or worship, are there for a reason.I personally don't get my panties in a bunch if someone is brutally honest, unless they are being hostile in a passive-aggressive manner.

Honesty involves a lot more than being willing to say "that dress makes you look fat." It's part of the way people live their lives. It has to include reliability and a respect for your fellow man. I also agree that tact is often more important than brutality.

Oh, yeah I forgot to give you props on the artwork. Love the wallpapers!

Give it to me straight. I can deal with tactlessness much better than I can deal with mush.

That depends: are you a consequentialist?

What's Next?

erm, make that *hop
Dammit Freud.

I always prefer honesty, but I am aware that social conventions, particularly those found at places of employment or worship, are there for a reason.

I personally don't get my panties in a bunch if someone is brutally honest, unless they are being hostile in a passive-aggressive manner.