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Whysee

- 3 years ago

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Is love a choice?

I hear people say that "the heart wants what it wants" and "love is blind" and "love is meant to be", but is it really? Are we not making a choice to love someone? or are we simply choosing to pursue the love that is inevitably there? Are we at all in control (consciously or subconsciously) of choosing who we love? and if so, where does homosexuality fit in this? Or is love predetermined? Are we to find the one we were meant to be with? Are we born with already innate idea of who and what we will love?

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Not always. When my grand babies were born I was there and when they wrap their little hand around your finger; you just fall deeply in love with them. When I met my late husband I was watching him one day doing one of his quirks; he was driving and he looked liked he was talking to himself and when I asked him what he was talking about he had no idea that he was doing that. At that moment I know I was and would forever be in love with him. So yes, it is a choice sometimes and other times it isn't.

I don't think falling in love is a choice, but acknowledging it and expressing it are.

Cupid will not be defeated.

How can it be a choice if one has never found someone to love or love them back, then is it their choice not to love or has love not found them?

yes it is a choice totally

I have no choice! Love is everywhere! In my house, in my car, in my pants! And I'm straight glad for it.

Definitely a choice. We have to make that choice not to selfishly indulge ourselves each morning for the benefit of those we love.

I don't think the inherent need for love is a choice; that's something planted in us as humans in the image of God. But love as it is expressed, as affection or initial "liking" can be chosen. If romantic love is not appropriate for the situation, I think we can convince ourselves out of it.

i love the leonard cohen song "paper thin hotel" The walls of this hotel are paper-thin Last night I heard you making love to him The struggle mouth to mouth and limb to limb The grunt of unity when he came in I stood there with my ear against the wall I was not seized by jealousy at all In fact a burden lifted from my soul I heard that love was out of my control A heavy burden lifted from my soul I heard that love was out of my control I listened to your kisses at the door I never heard the world so clear before You ran your bath and you began to sing I felt so good I couldn't feel a thing I stood there with my ear against the wall ... And I can't wait to tell you to your face And I can't wait for you to take my place You are The Naked Angel In My Heart You are The Woman With Her Legs Apart It's written on the walls of this hotel You go to heaven once you've been to hell A heavy burden lifted from my soul I heard that love was out of my control

I know there are ways to end my life. I don't know if those ways can include to tell myself to stop breathing or to tell myself to turn off my heart. Turing off my heart to end my life I don't know how to do that. Not to love, I know how to do. Love is a choice and it is under my control.

I believe we are born with an inherent need for love. It is expressed at different levels throughout life. It can be expressed at different levels in an instant. We are born with an inherent desire for relationship, and as you know, relationship as a principle and relationships in particular instances can be very different throughout life. Relationships between men and women often begin with attraction to someone's physical qualities. This is a rather animal expression of love. I do believe also in love as devotion and committment to someone or to some principle. I do think it is poissible for some to reach a level of life in which self-interests are set aside for the love/devotion/commitment to someone else or some priniciple which is believed to benefit mankind. Go see Invictus--the principle of forgiveness is a type of love. I have found in my marriages that I was in both cases incapable of choosing the absolutely perfect partner and I have had to choose forgiveness of myself and my partner over and over again; usually over petty little differences arising from my human limitations. I think I was in those moments choosing love.

I believe you can't stop or start love, you can't force it. You can try to like someone, but I learned love won't let you use it when you want it, it has a will of its own. Love happens and you can fight it, try to accept it, fear it, love it, but never tame it.

We are all born with the ability to love, we can't help it. I think that as we mature and look back on relationships won and lost we try to decide if falling in love is planned or accidental. The good part is, that no matter what happens in your life, you will in some way and to some degree fall in love again and again.(read mudlove's entry...for example) Our challenge is to stay in love and never lose sight of what it is or was that made us fall for that person we share our lives with, and learn to differentiate between what is real love and what is just a crush or admiration or whatever. We bandy that word around a lot... LOVE, and forget that we take it for granted. Now, this can be picked apart a million different ways, but you know what I'm getting at or you wouldn't have read this far.

Love is natures dirty trick to get you to take care of people you don't even have to like. Thankfully, you sometimes like the people you love (^_^)

I wouldn't call it a choice, but it is something you can feed... I'm in a long-term relationship and recently fell in love with someone else as well. I've decided not to pursue it, but the feelings are still there for me to handle. I'm rather successfully turning the erotic emotions into some kind of friendship, and I know that in time, that's all it's going to be. Should my choice change later, say if my current relationship ended, those erotic emotions could probably be kindled again. So sure, I'm applying will to it, but the psychology of emotions are rather complicated. And I wouldn't say I'm rid of the emotion... There's just a lot in life to think about, and this one will be drowned out. just my 2 cents.

Is love a choice? No. I've been married and divorced, but when I fell in love it was like a movie. I saw him across the crowded room and knew I would marry him. In fact, I told the girl next to me that I was going to marry him. I married him and loved him. He died...but he was the love of my life...so far.

If we are talking about romantic love, then the answer is no. We don't choose to be in love. We fall in love. If you think that we all choose who we love, then try my experiment... when you ARE in love, try to stop that feeling. It is impossible.

love is not a choice but spending time with someone is. If you dont spend time with someone its hard to really fall in love. you cant really choose to love someone. (if you can love me plx ^^) Its just like believing in something you cant choose it you need to be convinced. If i told you i am a yeti you probably wouldnt believe me (even though its true) even if you tried to believe me you couldnt. Same with love.

Love is a feeling, I am pretty sure your brain controls your feelings, and I would hope one would be able to choose what goes on in ones brain. Its not always easy, but you can choose not to love someone.

Love just is.

@Whysee Los Angeles

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I don't think falling in love is a choice, but acknowledging it and expressing it are.