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Holly1115

- 3 years ago

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Why Is it so easy to Shun People out

I can't seem to grasp why it is so easy for me to shun people out of my life. It takes one little mess up on someone's part and I cut them out of my life as if they were never apart of it in the first place. I turn my back and never look back.

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Gee, I have the opposite problem. No matter how hard I try, I just can't bear a grudge!

beloved, when you do this you have turned you back on yourself... nothing is prefect, it is all in flux, breaking down to be built up. we only get upset with those we love. we also get upset when someone has done something we will not allow ourselves to do... that makes our human self mad or upset. but when we forgive ourselves for our own flaws, others' flaw will not upset you as much... and you will not be so lonely. to extent so much to make new friends, to be disappointed, to start over again only keeps you for the love inside of you and the self accepts. hugs

You might need to figure out what it is you are afraid of. Sounds to me like you have been disspointed/hurt/betrayed by people you have trusted in your past AND that you do not trust yourself to be able to handle it. If it gets worse, I agree with Daisy.

Sometimes a person is so negative that it draws all the energy out of you to be with this person. I have someone in my life like that. Some of my friends say for me to drop him, forget him. Other friends point out that this person is ill, physically ill. He has a heart condition and he is dying slowly. So, I still talk to him, but when he starts being too negative I stop the conversation. He needs rides to the hospital and he has alienated all of his other friends. No one else will take him to his doctors visits. So for humanity reasons, and because we used to be friends, I take him to his medical appointments. He is invited to be here on Thanksgiving. Our actual friendship is over. He draws all energy out of me and calls me nasty names to other people, but then, that's the kind of negativity he has had all along. I feel badly for him because he has destroyed all the friendships in his life. Can I shun him? Not completely.

@Holly1115 I have that tendency too.

Because it's easy!! It's much harder to work through things with others. It takes effort. It's also selfish. You're life seems to be more concerned with yourself. Try to focus on others more. It will make a difference.

Because we take things to personal, we hold grudges, and we rarely forgive.

Why Is it so easy to Shun People out? Maybe, because people suck.....

When we are happy with our friends/acquaintances and the good times are rolling there's not a lot of work or commitment required to keep the flame burning, the good times happening. But when they dare to be human (imperfect, make mistakes, hurt us, find themselves broken etc) the relationship doesn't "just happen" anymore. "The good times" are on hold. We have to work on it and give and give of ourselves to it and stretch ourselves to be an enduring friend. Which can be messy and prolonged. It tests the limits of our commitment. And the easiest path is to set them aside and look for new people to have good times with. But it leaves a lot of hurt and broken people on the societal trash-heap -- where we might end up should our lives turn complicated and we need enduring committed friends around us but they decide we've become too much work or are a bummer on their good times. And BTW Holly, I speak about this as someone who has been guilty of it himself. This is part of being human, and a chance to choose to be something more the next time opportunity presents itself.

This is a deep issue. Please consider getting professional counseling. ANYONE else have an idea for Holly1115?

I'm the opposite way. I tend to hold on too tight. I'm the one you cut out, who frustrates you by not ceasing to exist once you decide you're done with me. So, why DO you do that?

I pretty much do the same thing. But it's a survival thing. I only let good people in my life, and I do a lot of pre-screening before they get to that point. I'm very un-trusting. Most people aren't worth my time. But I don't see it as a bad thing that I can cut bad people out of my life. I think it's good for me. :)

@Holly1115 3OH!3

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SoulPancake

Holly1115

Why Is it so easy to Shun People out

idamines

Gee, I have the opposite problem. No matter how hard I try, I just can't bear a grudge!

littlehart

chantarella

You might need to figure out what it is you are afraid of. Sounds to me like you have been disspointed/hurt/betrayed by people you have trusted in your past AND that you do not trust yourself to be able to handle it. If it gets worse, I agree with Daisy.

stinkyhenry

kaitlin

@Holly1115 I have that tendency too.

lhjjb3

Because it's easy!! It's much harder to work through things with others. It takes effort. It's also selfish. You're life seems to be more concerned with yourself. Try to focus on others more. It will make a difference.

Selenite

Because we take things to personal, we hold grudges, and we rarely forgive.

Horntho

Why Is it so easy to Shun People out? Maybe, because people suck.....

Griz

DAISYDO

This is a deep issue. Please consider getting professional counseling. ANYONE else have an idea for Holly1115?

RyanLBailey

I'm the opposite way. I tend to hold on too tight. I'm the one you cut out, who frustrates you by not ceasing to exist once you decide you're done with me. So, why DO you do that?

Ginny

Why Is it so easy to Shun People out

Gee, I have the opposite problem. No matter how hard I try, I just can't bear a grudge!

You might need to figure out what it is you are afraid of. Sounds to me like you have been disspointed/hurt/betrayed by people you have trusted in your past AND that you do not trust yourself to be able to handle it. If it gets worse, I agree with Daisy.

@Holly1115 I have that tendency too.

Because it's easy!! It's much harder to work through things with others. It takes effort. It's also selfish. You're life seems to be more concerned with yourself. Try to focus on others more. It will make a difference.

Because we take things to personal, we hold grudges, and we rarely forgive.

Why Is it so easy to Shun People out? Maybe, because people suck.....

This is a deep issue. Please consider getting professional counseling. ANYONE else have an idea for Holly1115?

I'm the opposite way. I tend to hold on too tight. I'm the one you cut out, who frustrates you by not ceasing to exist once you decide you're done with me. So, why DO you do that?

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