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bkmiller

- 3 years ago

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Do mothers who abuse their children do so many times because they're actually angry at their children's father?

According to www.childabuse.com/newsletter/stat0301.htm, more than 3 children die every day from child abuse in the home in the United States. WHY??? What can be done to stop this?

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I have never been able to wrap my brain around why anyone can abuse a child, elder, or anyone else. It's not only mothers who abuse thier children. I agree with another poster here: child abouse, elder abuse, rape, etc. is a form of control for a person who doesn't seem to have any control in their lives. It's all about power. In reading the statistics of female abusers who were also abused as children it's pretty obvious that they didn't have any control as children, so as adults they could control something/someone. Plus, I think we generally rear our children the way we were reared, by the example our parents set for us and sometimes its not a very good example. It takes a lot to break out of that cycle. The first is recognizing that the parental behavior was abusive. and some people jsut can't get past that.

The majority of children who endure abuse, suffer at the hands of their stepparents. Why do people abuse children? They're mentally sick and need help. How anyone can look into a child's eye and lay a hand on them, is beyond me.

I care less about why the mother abuses the child than I do about the child's welfare. There MUST be intervention so the cycle of abuse will not continue. At least, then the child has a chance. Get the mother into rehab or whatever it takes. Children are innocents and they deserve better.

I don't know if child abuse is related with the abuser having been victim when he/she was a child themselves. Makes me sad to think there are parents out there that would treat a child with this type of unacceptable behavior. But everything in this life time will be paid, so it will definitely come around in some way.

I understand the part of our human nature that drives us to respond with outrage and animosity -- even associative denial and blanket dismissal -- to the spectre of abuse. It is ugly and predatory and self-serving and self-perpetuating. But it is here. It is with us. And it isn't going anywhere and is even increasing. And I wonder if the sheer force of our outrage and animosity and our refusal to try to even associate with or understand its driving motivations (AND the people caught up in it) are THE fundamental distractions that keep this social blight alive and growing? Yes, it's ugly. But slamming the door in outrage just isn't working. Locking perpetrators away so we don't have to face them isn't working. Perhaps rather than standing to announce that we cannot comprehend it, we should be trying harder to. It's a reality. A reality that is growing and growing in the dark corners hidden under a cloak of self-righteous outrage and disassociation. Trying to understand it . . . does not mean one has to approve of it. But demonizing it does necessitate pushing it (and the people entrapped by it) away and leaving the infection to grow.

I've thought about this, and find it disturbing. I keep coming back to the belief that there is never a justification for child, spousal, or elder abuse. Never. And nobody can completely believe that what they are doing is right. Stop it? I can't fathom why it is still going on.

Mothers who abuse their children probably had an abusive father or other abusive figure in their early lives.

I think mothers abuse their children because they want to feel like they have control or authority over something in their lives. When my mom was going through her years of alcohol and drug abuse me and my younger siblings were the target of her rage. When I look back on all the things she did to us and all the things she put us through, I can kind of see a reasoning for her actions. She was so sad and lost... and had no self control.

This is awful. It breaks my heart. Mothers abuse children because they do not know how to deal with them otherwise. To stop this I propose that somehow free prenatal parenting courses be made available from every willing church, other religious organization, and every secular organization that works with children - that these free courses be advertised through every obstetrician's office, and that every parent be given a number to call if they are having trouble. In the old days there was a village. Now we have to create our village.

I believe most often parents abuse their children because they themselves were abused. My perception is that an abusive parent does not consciously choose to abuse. Instead, they are reacting to some stimulus which, in their minds, brings them back to their painful childhood experiences. I say this as the child of abusive parents--but I broke the cycle. What can be done? Some possiblities: Make affordable counselling readily available to everyone. Parental education is also effective. So is love, and reaching out to those who are abused, while at the same time removing the shame of being abused.

@bkmiller Collinsville, IL

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bkmiller

Do mothers who abuse their children do so many times because they're actually angry at their children's father?

melb2

Sara

The majority of children who endure abuse, suffer at the hands of their stepparents. Why do people abuse children? They're mentally sick and need help. How anyone can look into a child's eye and lay a hand on them, is beyond me.

jaybets

I care less about why the mother abuses the child than I do about the child's welfare. There MUST be intervention so the cycle of abuse will not continue. At least, then the child has a chance. Get the mother into rehab or whatever it takes. Children are innocents and they deserve better.

ppelayo

Griz

PopeSkippyXVI

I've thought about this, and find it disturbing. I keep coming back to the belief that there is never a justification for child, spousal, or elder abuse. Never. And nobody can completely believe that what they are doing is right. Stop it? I can't fathom why it is still going on.

beherenw

Mothers who abuse their children probably had an abusive father or other abusive figure in their early lives.

yesenia9

KimSP

BlueCrayon

Do mothers who abuse their children do so many times because they're actually angry at their children's father?

The majority of children who endure abuse, suffer at the hands of their stepparents. Why do people abuse children? They're mentally sick and need help. How anyone can look into a child's eye and lay a hand on them, is beyond me.

I care less about why the mother abuses the child than I do about the child's welfare. There MUST be intervention so the cycle of abuse will not continue. At least, then the child has a chance. Get the mother into rehab or whatever it takes. Children are innocents and they deserve better.

I've thought about this, and find it disturbing. I keep coming back to the belief that there is never a justification for child, spousal, or elder abuse. Never. And nobody can completely believe that what they are doing is right. Stop it? I can't fathom why it is still going on.

Mothers who abuse their children probably had an abusive father or other abusive figure in their early lives.

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