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kgines

- 3 years ago

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Im Sorry means you will never do it agian!!

I babysit my nephews 5 days a week and one thing that my brother has taught them is that sorry means you will never do it agian... Do you think that we use the phrase im sorry a little too loosely these days??? if we bump into someone or interupt someone we say I'm Sorry... but are we truly sorry??? Is I'm Sorry a verbal contract promising we will NEVER do it agian??? I just want to know your feelings on the subject

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It seems people are more sorry you let their actions offend you than the offender is truly sorry for their actions. I was always taught "Say sorry and mean it, don't say it before then." But was never really taught that saying you're sorry means you'll never do it again. I guess that's a whole different moral topic.

"Sorry" doesn't mean I will never do it again. "I will never do it again" means I'll never do it again. and even that is iffy.

Manners are involved, for sure. "Sorry I stepped on your foot." "Sorry I cut in front of you in line." But most of the time, instead of future behavior modification it's an indication that they got caught. Alas, it's one of the first loopholes children catch on to.

"I'm sorry" is (should be?) recognition of a trespass. It is not a guarantee it will not happen again -- for many behaviours resulting in trespass are very ingrained. The "verbal contract" is that we recognize our actions resulted in trespass, and are actively working to modify our behaviour. That can take time. The phrase fails when it is uttered merely to placate the other with no intention to modify behaviour. This becomes further complicated in a world of the tissue-papered thin-skinned politically correct who extract insult from even the most innocent situation as a means of exerting control over others. It's like political correctness was custom-engineered to remove all meaning from the verbal contract of an apology. Perhaps we need to modify our usage of the words? The thin-skinned are not going away, and if someone insists you have trespassed against them even when there was no intent -- and even less cause for a claim of insult -- perhaps the quick-draw of "I'm sorry" is the best way to diffuse the situation. Whereas if one has registered personal behaviour that needs to be modified a more sincere, "I apologize, and thank you for pointing this out" will become the new social contract recognizing a deep-seated desire to heal genuine rifts -- rather than just massaging thin skin that would categorize a gentle dew from heaven as insult or injury.

I wish that's what that meant. If I had a dollar for every time my 'best' friend did something mean to me, then said 'sorry' to make it all better, then went and did it again, I'm be a millionaire. This is a good question. I'm excited to read what everyone else says, too.

Never is way too heavy a trip to put on little kids. Sincerity in the moment is about the most a child can do. Even that depends on caring and feeling OK themselves. It would make it easier on the parents if the kids could grasp this understanding from a simple statement, but it just is not possible. It takes time and patience and some empathetic skills to teach values to children. There are many resources on-line and otherwise to help. Now is the time to do it of course. In ten years they will know more that you.

I guess you could teach 'em "Oops, my bad. I fucked up". I think your brother is just trying to teach your nephews manners the best way he knows how.

Saying sorry smooths rough edges. I don't think it's a social contract more as a social steam iron. It says, "I've wronged you, or I've hurt your feelings. Somewhere we didn't get on the same page. I was at least partially (or wholly) to blame for this. Please forgive me (and then we can move on with whatever else we have to do)." We step on each others' toes as we tango... that's just bound to happen every now and again. It's part of life. Saying sorry is just the social acknowledgment that fact, imo. But if you've really seriously wounded someone, or caused them great pain, or your conscience weighs heavily on you for something you've done. . . then I think, within the gravity of the misdeed and the heaviness of the apology, you can add in the statement, "I was totally out of line by doing X. I know it was wrong, and I know it caused you great pain. I promise that I will do everything I can not to let this happen again. And here's how I plan to ensure that won't happen again... will you help me and hold me accountable to this?" I personally think your brother's standard dilutes the meaning of 'never do it again' rather than strengthens the phrase 'I'm sorry.' The fact is, that's the culturally accepted way to ask for forgiveness for the minor infractions that we all do to each other all the time. And we need that social balm for those minor paper cuts, otherwise they do get infected if left untreated. Save the 'I'll never do it again" for the stuff you really don't ever, ever want to do to someone else again.

hmmm... I don't usually take it that seriously when I say it. To me it may mean I didn't mean to I was wrong I care, but am human I realize that was bad judgement *I'm sorry, I love you.

No i usually say it wen i get in trouble and my mom makes me i dont mean it though watever bad i did to my siblings was forced by their own stupid actions and if my mom wanted me to mean it then she wudnt have to say a thing i will say it meaningful wen im no longer forced to

@kgines ST. GEORGE, UTAH

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SoulPancake

kgines

Im Sorry means you will never do it agian!!

musicaltourettes

zamfir

"Sorry" doesn't mean I will never do it again. "I will never do it again" means I'll never do it again. and even that is iffy.

PopeSkippyXVI

Manners are involved, for sure. "Sorry I stepped on your foot." "Sorry I cut in front of you in line." But most of the time, instead of future behavior modification it's an indication that they got caught. Alas, it's one of the first loopholes children catch on to.

Griz

toriaaaaaa

I wish that's what that meant. If I had a dollar for every time my 'best' friend did something mean to me, then said 'sorry' to make it all better, then went and did it again, I'm be a millionaire. This is a good question. I'm excited to read what everyone else says, too.

DAISYDO

Trixie

I guess you could teach 'em "Oops, my bad. I fucked up". I think your brother is just trying to teach your nephews manners the best way he knows how.

applegrass

Breea

hmmm... I don't usually take it that seriously when I say it. To me it may mean I didn't mean to I was wrong I care, but am human I realize that was bad judgement *I'm sorry, I love you.

Will

No i usually say it wen i get in trouble and my mom makes me i dont mean it though watever bad i did to my siblings was forced by their own stupid actions and if my mom wanted me to mean it then she wudnt have to say a thing i will say it meaningful wen im no longer forced to

Im Sorry means you will never do it agian!!

"Sorry" doesn't mean I will never do it again. "I will never do it again" means I'll never do it again. and even that is iffy.

Manners are involved, for sure. "Sorry I stepped on your foot." "Sorry I cut in front of you in line." But most of the time, instead of future behavior modification it's an indication that they got caught. Alas, it's one of the first loopholes children catch on to.

I wish that's what that meant. If I had a dollar for every time my 'best' friend did something mean to me, then said 'sorry' to make it all better, then went and did it again, I'm be a millionaire. This is a good question. I'm excited to read what everyone else says, too.

I guess you could teach 'em "Oops, my bad. I fucked up". I think your brother is just trying to teach your nephews manners the best way he knows how.

hmmm... I don't usually take it that seriously when I say it. To me it may mean *I didn't mean to *I was wrong *I care, but am human *I realize that was bad judgement *I'm sorry, I love you.

No i usually say it wen i get in trouble and my mom makes me i dont mean it though watever bad i did to my siblings was forced by their own stupid actions and if my mom wanted me to mean it then she wudnt have to say a thing i will say it meaningful wen im no longer forced to

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hmmm... I don't usually take it that seriously when I say it. To me it may mean I didn't mean to I was wrong I care, but am human I realize that was bad judgement *I'm sorry, I love you.