reply
- Feature
- Like
@LovedOne Honestly I totally see where you are coming from. I agree with you 100% and we have the same viewpoint as to how to treat people and their shortcomings. But in my experience, not all my experiences, just a few, I have realized that some people, unfortunately my female roommates, see my outlook as offensive. Well, I guess they should say that they seem to be offended by it. I guess I should also mention that these are the kind of girls that seem to enjoy conflict and like to stir things up.
reply
- Feature
- Like
This is good advice for not letting people disappoint you while you try to see the best in them: Abdu'l-Bahá tells us: -- To be silent concerning the faults of others, to pray for them, and to help them, through kindness, to correct their faults. To look always at the good and not at the bad. If a man has ten good qualities and one bad one, to look at the ten and forget the one; and if a man has ten bad qualities and one good one, to look at the one and forget the ten. Never to allow ourselves to speak one unkind word about another, even though that other be our enemy.
reply
- Feature
- Like
i read something once about an old lady who rented rooms in her house , and got burned by a few here and there , on the rent , her daughter always tried to talk her out of this trusting approach , the old lady told her she would rather continue believing in the goodness of people than be suspicious of them all because of a few .
reply
- Feature
- Like
Actually, it's imperative that you do see the highest nature in people if you ever expect to find your own highest self. Expect no less from others than you would expect of yourself. Your philosophy is flawless. You absolutely must model the behaviour in yourself that you hope to see exhibited in others. True, sometimes others will not yet measure up to your standard, so give them a break; it's a learning process for them too. Just don't let disappointment become resentment. Please take to heart the words of wisdom offered by bobbiesgirl.
reply
- Feature
- Like
Its best to see how people really are... good and bad... without judgment that way your disappointments are minimal...
reply
- Feature
- Like
I uploaded this question and I enjoyed reading your responses. I was discussing this quality I possess with my boyfriend the other day. Our discussion led me to tears. I was upset over the way one of my good friends had been treating me and how it was rubbing off on the people around us. He told that he noticed that I want to think that every person is a good person and that I get disappointed when people do bad or mean things. He said that's what I was really upset over, not with my best friend. Now that I realized what he was trying to tell me, how to I fix it? I still want to continue that people can be good people, but how do I lower these expectations without it having a negative impact? (thinking differently of the people I know and like, taking advantage of me, walking all over me)
reply
- Feature
- Like
There is nothing wrong with seeing the good in people its the expectations that ALWAYS leads to disappointment. People are generally good, it is our preconceived expectations that do us in. Its almost as though we expect someone to not only read the incessant script that we have playing in our minds, but to agree with it and conform to it. We all do it, but the truth is, that when someone defies your expectations, when they go beyond them or bellow them, that human emotional pain can become its worst. I try to avoid expecting things from people, not because I have been burned or because I think people are incapable of fulfilling what expectations I may have but because I know how my brain works, how I can easily be distracted from one persons cause while I forge others. I have, on many occasions, greatly disappointed others based on their expectations of my reactions, actions and overall behavior. I have on many occasions just plain not measured up to their expectations of what sort of person I should be. The truth of it all is that I should be me, and that is exactly who I am being when I am not living up to others forced expectations, you can like it or lump it. I've learned to dismiss expectations, my own as well as others. However, that being said, there is a difference between the expectations that come out of our imaged view of how people should be and the commitments that we say we will fulfill.
reply
- Feature
- Like
I think seeing the good in all people is a rare and wonderful quality. Unfortunately, it does lead to disappointment. If you can learn to not expect the world of people and go into each new relationship, hoping for good but ready for the opposite as well, I think that's the safest plan.
reply
- Feature
- Like
