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The times I've been accused of being closed minded or intolerant is when I've disagreed with the person with whom I'm speaking. To be open-minded is to listen and sincerely consider the other position; to be tolerant is to disagree with someone's opinion or actions and yet still accept them. I believe I do those things, but for some, unless you are swayed by their arguments and/or adopt them as your own, you are then closed-minded or intolerant. And others say it because it's the way they'd like to think of themselves, whether they are or not.
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It's much more comforting to think of yourself as something, than to actually be that.
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In psychology it's known as a reaction formation. A coworker of mine recently got a large tattoo on his upper arm that says "No Regret," yet in the last 6 months he's made some really bone-headed decisions that, well, most people would regret. His tattoo should read "I have alot of regrets." I once heard a therapist say "The irritations we have with others are the ones we have with ourselves." So claiming to have problems with closed-minded and intolerant people might say more about the complaintant.
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No one is really fully open-minded and tolerant. No one ever will be. People who claim they are really aren't. I mean, think about it....some people who claim to be tolerant of everyone aren't tolerant of people who aren't open-minded and tolerant. I try to wrap my mind around that and it makes my head hurt.
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The least open-minded and tolerant people are the only ones who need to make that claim, because their actions say otherwise. If someone is openly practicing tolerance, then there's no need to proclaim it because everyone can already see it.
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