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hlstiteler

- 3 years ago

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Why do people feel the need to have only biological children, instead of helping orphans and children in foster care?

I told a friend that I really wanted to foster a child at some point in my life and he asked "Why don't you want to have your own child? You must not be very maternal." Is it me, or does the ability to love a child - any child, regardless of whose vagina it popped out of - demonstrate maternal instinct?

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I think a big part of it is misinformation. Roughly 30% of all couples seriously consider adoption, whereas only 2% of that 30% ever do adopt.

Kin Selection.

What an ignorant thing for this guy to say. There are plenty of women who have popped out a kid and have no maternal instincts whatsoever, and the opposite is true, as well. "You must not be very maternal" is a sexist thing to say. You should take note that men's paternal instincts are never raised as an issue in this society, never questioned. You should take note that men are always free to do whatever the hell they want without judgment.

I think it takes more maternal instinct to mother someone else's offspring. Anyone can love their own child, not everyone can love someone else's as if it had come from their own body. My husband wants a large family, that goes against my belief's though. I'm not object to giving him an "heir" although it's not a priority that I relate to I respect his wishes, but I would rather adopt 6 kids in need then bring 6 kids into this already over populated world.

to pass on their genes. the attempt of achieving immortality. i had this discussion with a good friend of mine last year. i told him that i wanted to get fixed for the sole purpose of adopting later. i realize there are too many kids out there who need good homes and a nurturing environment. he scoffed at me and told me it was too permanent and then tried talking me out of it. he fantasizes about creating a person that was a part of him and the woman he loved. this child would be something sacred to him. his own legend.

i think it does. i have always wanted to adopt or foster a kid instead of having my own because i feel so horrible for the kids whose parents didn't love them or couldn't take care of them. they deserve a home and they didn't do anything wrong. except "the orphan" that kid had some demonic acting skills!

Your question reminded me of something.... During my job search on Craigslist, I encountered a posting titled: "JEWISH EGG DONOR NEEDED by LOVING JEWISH COUPLE $20,000+" They were looking for High GPA and SAT scores and a biologically Jewish family history, among other things. They have repeatedly posted this ad for at least several months now. I'll be honest... I kind of shook my head after I read this. I kept thinking, "Why not adopt?"

Either way, it's noble to have a child and raise her or him. Maybe some people, due to instincts we've had for millions of years, feel the need subconsciously to reproduce and make sure that the human race lives on.

My wife has helped me raise and nurture my two kids from a previous marriage, and they call her "Mom." She is totally maternal. But biologically, she wanted to have a child with me, that was ours. I can understand that.

I know a wonderful woman who fostered many kids while she was raising her own children as well. I've never met anyone more maternal. I think presuming that someone isn't maternal because their first choice is to foster/adopt rather than have a biological child is a very limited viewpoint. Wanting and being willing to raise and nurture a child - whether that child has half your chromosomes, is family member, or is a complete stranger - is the definition of a maternal attitude.

@hlstiteler New York City

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hlstiteler

Why do people feel the need to have only biological children, instead of helping orphans and children in foster care?

barnabas

I think a big part of it is misinformation. Roughly 30% of all couples seriously consider adoption, whereas only 2% of that 30% ever do adopt.

eybarra71

Kin Selection.

SharonM

Mistral

ninjamu

Chocolatebunny

Captain_Adventure

Arjuna

Either way, it's noble to have a child and raise her or him. Maybe some people, due to instincts we've had for millions of years, feel the need subconsciously to reproduce and make sure that the human race lives on.

zamfir

My wife has helped me raise and nurture my two kids from a previous marriage, and they call her "Mom." She is totally maternal. But biologically, she wanted to have a child with me, that was ours. I can understand that.

jedikelb

Why do people feel the need to have only biological children, instead of helping orphans and children in foster care?

I think a big part of it is misinformation. Roughly 30% of all couples seriously consider adoption, whereas only 2% of that 30% ever do adopt.

Kin Selection.

Either way, it's noble to have a child and raise her or him. Maybe some people, due to instincts we've had for millions of years, feel the need subconsciously to reproduce and make sure that the human race lives on.

My wife has helped me raise and nurture my two kids from a previous marriage, and they call her "Mom." She is totally maternal. But biologically, she wanted to have a child with me, that was ours. I can understand that.

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