SoulPancake / Conversations / Are teenage engagements still taboo?

Luff_the_Hufflepuff

- 3 years ago

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Are teenage engagements still taboo?

Highschool sweethearts are considered the ultimate romantic fantasy. However, I'm a little confused as to why so many people in society are against teenaged engagements. But more and more T.V. shows and movies have been showcasing teenage relationships all leading to the guy on one knee asking "Will you marry me?". I'd love to know everyone's thoughts on this issue!

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I probably wanted to when i was younger, but I'm to the point in my life, that I realize: I need to know and love myself before I can truly love someone else. I think I WAS in love when I was 16, but I'm a completely different person, and I know and understand a little more about myself. I'm still learning actually. My boyfriend and I would love to get married someday. We're both in college, and we've been together for about two years. But we have discussed it and decided that we are both still "growing into ourselves." Kids usually think they have everything figured out. At least I did. and then college happened and I had no idea who I was. So glad I held off on the marriage thing.

I never understood engagements that last more than a year...because I always thought the point of an engagement was to plan a wedding. Everyone is different and it's really a case by case basis, but when you're that young, a lot of the time, you don't even know who you are, yourself. College is a place for soul searching. It's difficult for me to grasp how two people can connect their souls, when a majority of people their age haven't even found theirs. But again, everyone's different. I just couldn't imagine marriage right now, or anywhere in my 5 year future. I can't even think of a boyfriend. haha. I think when people are 18-25 their world should revolve around them. That sounds selfish, but it's not at that age, because that's the prime of your life. It's all there to make it or break it, and you have the right to make it all about you because you won't get a second chance.

@jedikelb True, it's better financially and legally to break off an engagement than a divorce, and yeah, people who are older are more sure of what they want, but looking at statistics, especially in America, is that even groups of people who get married in their late 20's are divorcing almost as much as they're tying the knot. @Pascali said it best, Love doesn't have an age specification. I agree. Love, true love that is, comes when it comes, not when you're 26 and done with college because that's what is going to be perfect. No. It just happens when it does, sometimes it's in highschool, and other times it's not until your mid-life. My older sister Misty met and fell for this guy when she was 15, and they dated 10 years before they got married. They're still together, (15th anniversary), and they have the most beautiful son on this earth. Also, my great grandma Rena outlived her first husband, and married her second husband in her 50's, and they were together until he died, at the age of 103. Love and true love could be found right away, or it may take decades. And I also think there's nothing wrong with people like myself who are deeply in love to give it a chance, and get married young.

My sister sabina is engaged to the first guy she ever fell for in high school, and they've been engaged for the last 5 years. He proposed when they were both 17, and if my parents were any more against it they would've murdered her. They made her move out and everything. We were raised in a microscopic town in Montana and this was a very big humongous deal. They thought if they kicked her out they were going to break their relationship down but really it just brought them closer together. They got their high school diplomas and are both attending university.In our town getting engaged very young is common, but my parents like to think that they should have some sort of control over who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. They tried that scam on me 2 years ago, but it backfired when their chosen future husband for me knocked me up when i was 17,ditched town and hasn't returned since.I think that teenage engagements aren't taboo if you are a teenager or even in your twenties, but older "authority" figures have big time issues with it. They think that you'll lose focus in school (university & high school), or you won't have a chance to "live your life", or in my parents' case just don't approve of it out of pigheadedness.

One grows and changes a lot once they move out on their own away from the immediate support of parents and family. Some relationships are capable of growing together and some aren't. I was engaged in high school and certain that this guy was the one. We planned a long engagement in order to finish college before marrying. We started renting a house together after high school graduation (following my mom's advice to 'try on a pair of shoes before you buy them') and 3 months later I was giving him back the ring and moving out on my own. If someone thinks they have found the person they can spend the rest of their life with, go ahead and get engaged. But I fully support a long engagement and testing the waters by cohabiting for awhile. You'll learn a lot about yourself and your intended by managing a budget together and dividing up the household chores.

I rather like the idea

Team SP

I don't see why they should be taboo, society has changed in that we seek more than just a family than we did, yes, nonetheless, we are pretty much as fertile as we were back in the day when marriage was seen used for the purpose of procreation and fostering a family. The only reason young couples mightn't last as long as they did in ancient times is because nowadays we have our finger, ever-ready, on the escape key; we don't put as much effort into resolving difficulties with our spouses because we know there is always an 'out'. Personally, I would love to have married young; a companion for life who knows you throughout all those physical, mental and emotional ups and downs, and who lasted through it all, would no doubt be a strong companion for any future troubles that may come your way. Not only that, but to be a youthful parent when your kids are grown is a plus in my book. My parents are still young enough to be on the same page as us as grown ups and we have found friendship with them as well as the usual parent-child relationship. Marry young? Sure, why not? I've said it before and I'll say it again - Love doesn't have an age specification.

It's still frowned upon in most instances, as far as I can tell. Most of the stigma comes from the fact that the ~vast~ majority of adolescent couples don't last, so most are quick to scoff at the notion that two teenagers could stay the course of a lifelong relationship. Of course there is always "the exception that proves the rule", and I'm open, though perhaps a tad hesitant, to the idea such a young couple could potentially love each other enough to stay together for life.

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Are teenage engagements still taboo?

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I rather like the idea

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Are teenage engagements still taboo?

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