Create a Ridiculous App
Technology can be silly sometimes.
I work for a Fortune 500 coffeehouse chain. The other day, a large-bellyed, middle-aged man with a Bluetooth device synced to an iPhone 4 came in and ordered a large iced mocha. He handled his iPhone with intense concentration, pressing one button at a time, looked up at us, and said: "Can you charge that to my iPhone app?"
We gave him a blank stare and told him that we never got the memo. (Apparently, there's an app that allows your phone to be a payment method.) Disappointed, he took his drink to a nearby chair, continued his conversation, loudly telling whomever was on the other end that he just got out of the gym, though he bore neither sweat nor gym apparel. He couldn't be bothered to hold the phone to his ear while he sipped the drink his app couldn't pay for.
Now, a payment app may not seem ridiculous, but since when did cash become an antique? Which is precisely when we started coming up with our own list of useless apps. Here's what we came up with in the time it takes to froth an iced mocha:
- Douchebag Detector: Helping you realize when you suddenly need to take a 5-minute break
- Tell Me My Pant Size: For those of you who stopped keeping track of your Krispy Kreme intake
- How Tan Am I?: Perfect for being in (or on) the Jersey Shore
- Unnecessary Tattoos Identifier: Oh, that's a Popeye's logo gone awry
- Douchebag Detector 2.0: Does it beep at all Europeans or just those with tight pants?
- Fake Boob Detector: Self-explanatory
- Fake Blonde Detector: Also self-explanatory