SoulPancake / Activities / Tweet the Classics

JenaNotJameson

- 2 years ago

Feature
1
Like
Follow

Tweet the Classics

They say our attention spans are decreasing, what with all them Internets and Grand Theft Autos and rock ‘n’ roll. To hear grandma tell it, if we want anyone to take in the classics in the future, we’ll have to add guns and video montages and definitely cut everything down to a digestible radio edit. So, before they are lost to the ages, let’s rewrite all of the great works of literature, science, and philosophy to conform to our new Twitter-driven attention spans. Here are three in 140 characters or less:

MOBY d**k: Call me Ishmael. On the whale ship Pequod, commanded by Captain Ahab. A man’s quest. I over-describe whales. (H. Melville 1851)

PRINCIPIA: Laws of motion, law of universal gravitation, motion of the planets, no alchemy, calculus. Sorry math students! (Newton 1687)

PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION: We the people for good union, justice, to be happy, safe, free, we make this constitution now. Suck it U.K.

Tweet the Classics

Write your Tweet of a Classic. Remember: 140 characters or less.

Spanglish. Brunch. Spork.

Write Your Revenge

Cover Yourself!

i am who i am and my situation cannot change me - much ado about nothing, shakespeare

-Everybody wants to be found-Lost in Translation by Sofia Coppola.

Napoleon invades Russia; five Russian families in the aristocracy deal with the consequences. This sh*t goes on forever.Tolstoy's War and Peace...and with 20 characters to spare, no less! :D

Othello: Passion overbears.

A quote from a Lemony Snicket book: Not only am I very intelligent, but I'm also very smart.

i do not care much for twitter. it doesn't allow for large bursts of information. what can one type in one hundred forty characters or less?what i just typed above me is 140 characters.

Little Women - four sisters+Laurie. Laurie loves Jo, Jo leaves. Sisters grow up. Jo marries German. Laurie marries sister. Miss their youth.

Home along knock at the door. no one there. zat a bird? wtf did it say? Reminds me of my dead wife. gtfo bird! I just died. f*ck.

The Tempest: I'm on a boat, mothafucka, don't you ever forget it.

Atlas Shrugged: Where did all these lazy asses come from? Where did the workers go?Fountainhead: It's your thing...do what you want to do.

Gone with the Wind: Watch out for the war, learn a craft,and marry the fop and you won't get cool guy.

The Sun Also Rises: Isn't Paris great? Let's get drunk, fish and watch bull fights because my balls are broken.

Three Musketeers: Watch out for the Cardinal and look for a fourth guy.

Old Man and the Sea: Old man catches a big fish in the sea. Sharks eat it.

East of Eden: Stay away from crazy women.

WALDEN: Built a little cabin by Walden Pond, planted some beans and cultivated deep thoughts about nature, society, and how we could live wiser lives. (Henry David Thoreau, 1854)

ham on rye (charles bukowski): story from age three to 23= only the weak, dumb, forsaken, and evil want anything to do with him. oh, henry chinaski. the poor b*****d.

What's Next?

-Everybody wants to be found-
Lost in Translation by Sofia Coppola.

Napoleon invades Russia; five Russian families in the aristocracy deal with the consequences. This sh*t goes on forever.

Tolstoy's War and Peace...and with 20 characters to spare, no less! :D

i do not care much for twitter. it doesn't allow for large bursts of information. what can one type in one hundred forty characters or less?

what i just typed above me is 140 characters.

Atlas Shrugged: Where did all these lazy asses come from? Where did the workers go?
Fountainhead: It's your thing...do what you want to do.