Do Other People's Relationships Affect Your Life?
"It doesn’t have any effect on your life. What do you care? People try to talk about it like it’s a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say “How am I supposed to explain to my child that two men are getting married?” I dunno, it’s your S****y kid, you f*****g tell them. Why is that anyone else’s problem? Two guys are in love but they can’t get married because you don’t want to talk to your ugly child for f*****g five minutes?" // Louis CK
It’s now been a good twenty minutes since I sat down in front of my computer and I’ve yet to take my eyes away from that quote. Especially the opening line, which is nothing short of pure perfection. I mean really, what effect does it have on your life if two people, who just so happen to both possess a penis, decide to get married and spend the rest of their lives together? Exactly. It has no effect. Our equal-opportunistic partners over at Tonic.com have made it clear how they feel about Proposition 8 being declared unconstitutional this past week and now it’s our turn, and yours as well.
I say good for California taking a stand against ignorant and shortsighted nonsense. What's been the hold up? What are we so afraid of? Why can't we grant our fellow human beings the choice to marry whomever they please? Is it the invincible man in the sky? Is the red-horned monster living below the earth’s surface charged with punishing anyone that shares a bed with someone who has the same body parts? That seems as sophmoric as literally interpreting our big books of holy fairy tales. You know, the ones featuring special guests appearances by made-up figures known simply as Jacob and Joseph and Elijah and David and Mary and who can forget Maurice? f****n' Maurice- always coming outta' nowhere- always making an appearance at the most inopportune times like when that dude was tripping balls and talking to a bush he had lit on fire.
No matter how you justify it, no matter what your excuse may be for denying two human beings the right to get married, it’s time you grow up. Just look at the Easter Bunny for Christ's sake. That flaming, colorful hairball is about as straight as an ABBA greatest hits album. I freakin' love Dancing Queen.