SoulPancake / Activities / Not Necessarily Television

JenaNotJameson

- 11 months ago

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Not Necessarily Television

[quick-write]

Ohhhh yeah, television these days is just sooooooo interesting and creative. Spoon up some of that sarcasm and put it to work by re-working a TV show with a disclaimer that should be shown before the action. I mean really... Checkout the examples from the SoulPancake BrainLab if you need to get tuned in.

Show us the a*s in mass media. Write a disclaimer for a TV show.

C-SPAN
Riveting Television Guaranteed for 5 of every 980 minutes. @jenanotjameson

American Idol
Warning: 3 out of 5 Americans surveyed actually do not idolize singing children. @jenanotjameson

The Newlywed Show
Actors make better couples than couples do. @CSW

Glee
Superhot 20-somethings pretending to be teenage outcasts. @melinacoogan

60 Minutes
Our stories are only going to depress you before the work week even begins. @misterfritz

America's Got Talent
... and a s*&tload of debt. @misterfritz

The Real Housewives
Housewives depicted here are not real. Any resemblance to American housewives real or imagined is purely coincidental. @jenanotjameson

Recent Discussed Liked

First level responses second level responses

Nancy Grace - Self-righteousness at it's finest.

Keeping Up With the Kardasians - Where keeping up is hardly an issue.

24 - You can watch it 24/7. Or 8, if you want to keep season 2 in the collection and watch Kim get kidnapped every episode.

Jersey Shore - Do not watch if you are near firearms, pills, or razorblades.

House - Every episode is the same, so don't feel you have to watch more than one.

Ghost Adventures - Please do not take steroids and then think you can hunt ghosts.

"Dancing With the Stars" - The only semi-famous people are the host and the professional dancers.

"American Idol" - Chances are: nobody idolizes any of the winners.

"The Chew" - Four Chefs and a Fashion Guy talking about food.

The Office- Super funny until you hear someone besides Dwight, Michael or Creed talking.
Modern Family- Think your childhood only much funnier.
Parks and Recreation- Pawnee, Indiana is the 21st century Gary, Indiana.....except funnier.
Community- Makes you wish you weren't smart enough to get into a real college.
Lost- It's like a Rubik's Cube with an extra square....super confusing and super interesting at the same time.
Scrubs- It's like if hospitals were as fun as carnivals.
Firefly- One of the only shows you will wish was your life.

Doctor Who
Side effects include, but are not limited to, perception of time going wibbly wobbly, increased use of techno babble, using your electric toothbrush as a "sonic screwdriver", insane amounts of running, or wearing the following: bow ties, fezzes, stetsons, tweed jackets, blue and brown suits, dusters, or leather jackets. Prolonged exposure may result in constantly making references only one other person in the room will understand.

Conan.
Uncomfortably Orange.

Doctor Who
It's not really about a Doctor. And no one in it is named "Who". People in the sixties were weird. We don't really know WHY it's named that way.

News Forums:
"5% Informative, 5% Thought-provoking, 90% Blather from talking heads who don't do anything to improve the situation. Guaranteed to stress you out."

Modern Family- Basically just like Full House meets The Office but more dysfunctional
Arrested Development- This show will make your "banana stand"
Freaks and Geeks- You wish your high school stoner/freak was as hot as James Franco
Paid Programming For Some Useless Product- The most entertaining thing on between 2:00 and 4:00pm on a Sunday Afternoon

Toddlers & Tiaras:
Do not watch if you or your family are in possession of an expensive television and/or decorate your living room with heavy objects within grabbing distance.

All shows ~ Don't blame us if you think you are wasting time.

The Daily Show - America's most trusted news
Fox (Faux) News - News as Rupert Murdoch sees it
Jersey Shore- Warning you are killing brain cells
Parks and Recreation - Who knew Pawnee, Indiana was this good?
The Colbert Report - Be afraid
Kardashians- Not even if your remote dies on this channel
TLC- Has as much to do with learning as MTV does with music
C-Span - Reminding you why you don't vote anymore
Dateline - You will never feel the same about cookies and kool-aid again
Modern Family - yes there are still a few good sitcoms
Two and a Half Men - And there are still tons of bad ones that get way too much attention
16 and Pregnant - the decline of civilization in America
60 Minutes - We live to scare your grandparents

Pawn Stars--30 minutes of a Pawn Shop without the slime, sleaze, and desperation of a Pawn Shop. Includes a human being named Chumlee.

NOTICE: No items were pawned in the making of this program.

Doctor Who - The only consistent show for nearly 50 years that doesn't rely on "reality".

Keeping Up With the Kardashian's-Banality at its worst, seriously nothing f*****g happens.

Maury-You think you will get sick of hearing you are not the father...but you never will.

Moral Orel-The Best show you've never seen.

Freaks and Geeks- The best show people have pretended to see.

House-The most OVERHYPED show on television.

My god T.V. my god

LOST- 99% of the time you will have no idea what is going on, but you will still become ridiculously addicted

Weeds - Spoiled milf who gets mixed up in drug dealing and tries to justify it by saying it's for the good of her family, but is so busy buying clothes, McCafes, and getting laid by drug dealers to realize that most of her family hates her guts.

American Idol: WARNING! Series is skewed to go from worst to best to assist in appreciation of what we want to convince you is best. We will attempt to make you either feel sorry for the winner or love the losers to provide you with more value as we sip our product placement Cokes and identify ways to suck dollars into our coffers with our vacuous presentation of fill between commercials. Little girls, with parents that have money, are asked to disregard this warning.

House*

*- If you're a doctor and dream of being on par with that of our main character(a pill popping, narcissistic, sociopath), your license should be revoked and you should be tossed in the front of a moving bicycle.

Not Necessarily Television

Show us the a*s in mass media. Write a disclaimer for a TV show.

Cranky Quick Writing

First Kiss Fiction

Paper Plane Prose

Nancy Grace - Self-righteousness at it's finest.Keeping Up With the Kardasians - Where keeping up is hardly an issue.

24 - You can watch it 24/7. Or 8, if you want to keep season 2 in the collection and watch Kim get kidnapped every episode.

Jersey Shore - Do not watch if you are near firearms, pills, or razorblades.House - Every episode is the same, so don't feel you have to watch more than one.Ghost Adventures - Please do not take steroids and then think you can hunt ghosts.

"Dancing With the Stars" - The only semi-famous people are the host and the professional dancers."American Idol" - Chances are: nobody idolizes any of the winners."The Chew" - Four Chefs and a Fashion Guy talking about food.

Conan. Uncomfortably Orange.

Doctor WhoIt's not really about a Doctor. And no one in it is named "Who". People in the sixties were weird. We don't really know WHY it's named that way.

News Forums:"5% Informative, 5% Thought-provoking, 90% Blather from talking heads who don't do anything to improve the situation. Guaranteed to stress you out."

Toddlers & Tiaras:Do not watch if you or your family are in possession of an expensive television and/or decorate your living room with heavy objects within grabbing distance.